Hello....ween

Well it is an American tradition and I really have no idea why we wanna dress up like ghosts and ghouls when we already have enough traditions of our own. Perhaps some people feel that it is fun for the children, but for me, I feel that it is just another way or excuse to waste money and time. We were a British colony, not an American plant, so why do we have to adopt every western thing that comes by?

Anyways, I am really burnt out. At work, its been really busy and once home, I have not been able to be slack too. I try to help my wife in looking after the baby, so that she will feel at least less stressed. We refuse to have a maid as having things easy is only an excuse. If our parents can look after us without maids, we will jolly well try to do so without maids too.

Anyways... will post longer when am more free.

Oh great... things are getting more expensive again.

It is actually a vicious cycle, things go well, people start to spend and this spending starts to reduce excess capacity and therefore the price goes up. But as the prices go up, people start to ramp down on their spendings and this in turn affects the businesses and thus pushes things into another downturn.

There was an article that now inflation is around 3.7%... Really??? No joke??? Are you sure??? What can we buy for $10 now? I remember a long time ago during my very mentally troubled youth, $10 could still buy a lot of things... Now, if you give a kid $10... the kid will say,"Uncle... save your money lah...." So how much is the true inflation today? How much can we buy for the amount we still have? People are not getting richer and especially the sandwiched generation who earn enough that they are not considered poor and therefore have no safety net. These are the ones who are really suffering nowadays. You may say, "Waaaaaahhhh you earn $3k ah.... coooollll"... But like the little kid who asked you to save your money, the girl you are interested will also say don waste your time. It can't buy you a house or a car and these are 2 of the important "c"s that they want.

Even if you earn 10k, it is not really a big thing. For some of course it will be a big thing, but seriously the spending power of average joe is really getting smaller.. But of course my little energizer does not understand such terms. She is like the forever ongoing bull market... Everything is fine and dandy and great.... (sighsssssssss>)

So anyways, ERP is going up.... Just like COE is going up..... prices are going up...... might as well think seriously about opening up a bread shop because I am sure that to save money, people will have to start to love eating bread. Nothing wrong with bread, but have you seen the ridiculous prices of some of our sandwiches????? And also I had such a bad experience at BK last weekend. Ordered a large ice tea, the server tried to flog off a medium coke... and when I tasted it, it was so sweet an ant will have an immediate orgasm and die on the spot. Then the sausages patty was so over cooked that it looked like the shrivelled lungs of a smoker who does 40 sticks a day.... it did not taste much better though.

And to top off the whole experience, when I brought the drink back to the counter, no one even tried to placate me with another drink. Not that I am that desperate for a drink that can make an ant orgas and die on the spot though.

Anyway.... I am really getting tired of all this shit... You get shit service, you are treated like shit.... but don worry, I do not think that I am shit... hehehehehe

My baby is a big girl

This is the newest vid of my little girl. She brings tears of joy and thoughts of bewilderment when I see her each day. How did she turn out to be like that? She now does not drink milk from a bottle and wants to feed herself. She is a happy child who is quick to laugh and smile, as long as she has enough sleep and also to eat... I am contented.

My Baby is growing

Here are the latest pics of my monster. How she has grown in the few months I have not seen her. I guess that this is the time where the most changes happen and if youare not there to be a part of it, then you will most probably never have the chance again. But in a way, as adults, there are times when we have to make certain sacrifices. Not for drama and or whatever, but for the sake of the family as a whole.

That is why sometimes I really get very fed up when people do things they know they should not do and or do not think when they do certain things.

Anyways, I had a really tiring weekend. I guess I was already building up to a burn out, so I slept mostly on the weekend and really took things easy. I even fell asleep really early last night and only woke up at 7. But I know I was snoring a lot becoz I had such a sore throat when I woke up. That is not a good thing as now I really have to worry about sleep apnea. But then again, we will all die one day, so I am not afraid of dying.

Not like my energizer rabbit who is so afraid of death and yet does not know how to enjoy life. I guess that when you are weak psychologically, you are really never gonna be happy. I told her how unlucky I was this year and she said that she was even more unlucky... When I told this to my wife, my wife could not decide whether to be angry or to be surprised. My energizer has already lived through cancer not once but twice!!! She has already been to Europe not once but twice!!! She has nothing to worry about except when to be hungry or sleepy. Yet she still insists on going to her traditional chinese medicine and paying at least 100 bucks a week!!! Imagine how much more money she will have if she does not spend so much? And in the end, who suffers? It is us, we have to save more so that she can have more. But of course, in so saying, I am liable to be listed as a bad child. And most probably the gahmen will also look badly on this. Hey man, I had my power stopped last week because when the Singapore Power tried to do a Giro, I did not have sufficient funds in the flipping Giro account and they did not tell me that Giro did not go though. I am living on hand and mouth each month with the usual worries about where can I stretch each buck. Baby needs to be fed, wife needs to live and I also need to provide. And yet I manage to do so almost every month. Not like some people who just take and take and take. And yet the gahmen is not helping us. My taxes grew by 100% this year. From 300 plus to 600 plus... So in the end, almost 1k of my salary goes into such unseen things... Damn it is expensive to live in Sg.

Well enough of raging on... It is like throwing yourself at a brick wall, it will not work out. I just hope that seriously things will change for the better and that my bad luck does not affect my wife and child too much.

Can you live without the person you love??

This question is a wierd one no doubt, but for married couples who have been together for years and years and each beign the pillar for the other, what will happen when one leaves? For my energizer rabbit, she has never really loved anyone but herself. Of course she truly loves my father or she would not have devoted her life to him, but in a way, it is also a question of how much more you love yourself.

I asked myself this question over and over. What will happen if I were left in this world without my wife or baby. They are my world and life and so to carry on without them will be unthinkable. But with life being so fragile, death is only a stone's throw away. People die of diseases, accidents and so on, so what if??

I think that I will be very lonely, I may carry on, but I will not die just because they have died. It is a difficult concept, but being the head of a family, not only of my own but also of my father's has made me really cold. It is like the docu-drama on Discovery channel, where the family of Cpt Phil Harris is struggling to continue and the eldest son has to balance between his duty to the father and family and also being the son. It is difficult. The others blame him for not shedding tears and not being emotional and yet if he is, then the whole family will falter. And I guess it will be the same for most other sons or eldest born. To them goes the most difficult task and the most painful task. Bringing the family forward, changing and also growing up really fast. For if they do not do so, then the whole family goes.

I can cook, clean and live my life. In fact now, I am also living a life mostly without my family. It is not through a whim of fancy, but a calculated move for the future. My sis says that she wants to send her son overseas, well...isn't it similar to my experience? But she will never do it because she treasures them too much... and in the end, may stiffle their ability to grow. Her eldest may want to become the leader of his pack, but then again, he is definitely not ready... For me, I will teach my baby to be independant and to be able to cope by herself. Now she is dependant on her mom, but one day, she will be alone.

So can you live without the person you love? If you say "yes", then you are not loving the person enough.

Of life and death

These few days, I have been watching really touching movies and documentaries. A movie was by Matsu Takako, in which she lost her daughter and the other was the documentary on Discovery channel. Death is all around us, the moment we start our lives, we are just heading for death. There is no escape. But how you live or die is completely up to you. You may be born into wealth or poverty, but how these conditions change, will also change you and how you adapt to it will also be a change.

I do feel sad when I see death, no one shoudl feel happy. But then again, whether the person who goes leaves behind a whole lot of shit or a lot of wealth is another thing altogether.

Mrs. Lee, the wife of the MM has also passed away. RIP.... RIP...

But then again, the living should go on living and go on to make their owns lives. Just like my own Energizer Rabbit, I have to be ready for her passing also. Whether it is soon or it will be blue moons later, it doesn't matter. It is only a matter of when and how. But to be frank, I do hope that it is a sudden and unforeseen one as this should make it easier for my sis to handle. If it is a prolonged and painful death, then seriously my sister will spend all she has just to try and make things better. But the thing is, I am cold and emotionless at times and I feel that the living should have a chance to live. Not to spend everything we have on someone who is old and has already enjoyed a good life. But then again, that is just me I guess.