Ahhhh memories

You know, I was called a grandfather just yesterday.. It was actually an attempt by a fren to sorta protect me bcoz there are a few frens who like to egg people for races... And I am not one to race, especially drag... It is only once in a while that I will even consider.. So my fren said "Do not tell grandfathers how to suckly milk, we have been doing it longer than you have".... Hmmm... so I am a grandad... Just after my baby daughter is born... interesting.

Anyway, I read somewhere that the army is changing its training policies... interesting.... During my time, which was slightly after the cruel initial years of NS and not quite the same paradise as now.... it was really tough... Initially, my greatest fear was for Road marches (flat foot mah) and SOC.... Dang... imagine walking for 24km when you are as flat footed as a duck..... But you know something... after 2 and a half years, it does not seem so scary anymore... Even the SOC is not so scary anymore... You run 50m.... clear 11 obstacles and then run another 600m to the end point with your tongue and other parts dragging on the ground. And you are supposed to finish it in 9minutes.... yeaaaa... right.... Here's my take on the 11 obstacles.

1) Low wall (1.83m): In Hokkien terms.... Long piak.... "ram into wall"... hey I am short.... With only 1.55m.... how the hell am I gonna climb over a 1.8m wall... Some more... so many goondoos have jumped off from the same place that there are depressions where you jump... so it is no more 1.83m.... I swear!!!!....

2) Parallel Bars: Pant pant gasp gasp.... now 2nd obstacle.... Again... for the height disadvantaged... just getting onto the bars is an obstacle in itself..... "Quick... give me a stool"...kekekeke.... But it was easy once you were on because all you needed to do was to lock your elbows and just slide your hands down the bars..... The only gud thing I never had to complain about was that the bars were spaced too far apart... Maybe because by that time, there would not be many fat soldiers and so the bars could be closer in....hwehhehehehe

3) Stepping board: That was easy lah... jus step on a board and jump over some barb wire.... and since the course was used so often and goondoos fell into it quite often, the barb wire was quite flat anyway... But then the issue was dat the length of the jump was quite difficult for a short guy with short legs....

4) Swing trainer: I call them the monkey bars..... Old uncle here is a monkey... so no problem lah... but by the time I had done the first 2 obstacles and since it used a lot of arm power.... my arms would be more like rubber bands already.

5) Low rope (3.5m): Yea right.... It was never 3.5m and also I am only 1.5m tall.... 3m is already nosebleed thin air territory for me man... But the good thing was that the rope was thick and having something nice thick and long in between your legs...... uuuummmmmmmmm

6) Horizontal Beam: Dats a set of zig zag beams a few metre above the ground... Youare dizzy... gasping for breath and now you have to climb and walk???? But since I am not afraid of heights... it was ok.... jus don't miss or you will fall.... hehehehe

7) Swinging Bridge: Thats the one where the bridge is suspended and you run on it and cross it... The secret is to not go while someone else is on it.... Some sissies will even put a foot out to stop the bridge from swaying first.... But for me... already half dead liao.... who gives a heck....

8) Balancing log... Thats where there is a horizontal log around belly height (chest height for me) and you are supposed to crawl over it.. I literally ooze over it because my dragging tongue is already lubricating the pole... But seriously it is not that bad lah.

9) The gate.... another really silly obstacle in which there is 2 poles, you climb over the top pole and then use the bottom pole to hold and jump down... Not too bad lah....

10) Jacobs ladder: Man this is scary... where you have to walk up a set of logs formed into a pyramid and walk down... You are already tired, dizzy and almost half dead... miss one step and you fall through or worse.... get stuck... hehehehe

11) The ramp.... where you run up a slope and over a dead drop wall and some barb wire.... The important thing is to get as much air time as possible.... but for me.... bouncing into barb wire will be nothing new.... hehehehe

Then it is 600m of pure sprint to the end...... with your tongue dragging on the ground.... your arms also dragging because they are already too tired.... and oh yea.... we did it with the harness they call the SBO and helmet and rifle.... so it wasn't easy... But doing it often enough makes one not fear it... It was more of a hassle.... hehehehe... but life was much harder last time man....

A lot of China pilots use falsified resume wor....

Hey, if we go through with the nuclear power plants, we will surely glow in the dark.. After all, the company which will win the tender will be the most expensive and yet charge us a bomb for the power and also use the cheapest labour to build it and run it... So if a China man comes with a Harvard Phd in nuclear physics, we gotta be careful liao.... It is just like SBS and SMRT who hire bus captains (the drivers lah) who can barely speak English well enough to communicate with the passengers... So if something happens and a complex series of instructions in English is issued to alleviate and impending leak of nuclear radiation... Mr. False resume will most probably not be up to the par... Man we are really gonna glow in the dark.

Actually it is also better lah... we glow and we will not use money on power... hehehehe....

But seriously folks, it is always the case of trying to be something you are not. You or your frens or a 100 other people may get away with it, but one day, in the end, someone will get caught and the whole stack of cards will fall. It is like people who see themselves are car gods or race gods and vrooommmm down the street and veer in and out of lanes... They will one day get into trouble and they will have to bear the consequences. If you do not know what you are doing, you better not pretend to know lor...

So take the scenario of the falsified resumes..."Er.. Mr. X... Have you flown a wide body aircraft before?"
"Yea.... If a bus is a wide body aircraft".....
"Hmmmm... I hope he was joking"..."but his resume puts that he has"..."Ok Mr. X... welcome to the YYYAir Company"

Then on the first day of training.... Mr X goes "Dang... this thing is BIG!!!" "Hmmm lets see... where is the gear stick ah???" (The other pilot will also be going..."I hope he is joking") But history has proven that being a pilot does not need any qualification... Look at the character that Leo De Caprio palyed in "Catch me if you can"... The guy was self taught..... Dang.... we are gonna glow in the dark....,.