She is going to be gone

Was what we had, just a dream? I spent a huge fortune on her and will spend another fortune on her, but was she ever to give me the satisfaction? How will I feel when she is truly gone? Will I be able to give her up? To feel her beneath me, it was heaven. But perhaps it was all not for me? Was I a fool? Was I just being too silly? Sob Sob sob sob sob.......

Now back to reality.... no it was not a girl hor.... It may sound like a girl.... but it is actually the old car that I had, the Ralliart Lancer that I gave my whole life to... heee heeeee.... I am now really borrowing the funds to get rid of her... But it is with a sentimental feeling and a bit of nostalgia. Hopefully I will be able to clear her by next week and finally be able to be free of her and have only one car. It is not that I don't like my new baby. I do love her very much, but I am a sentimental SOD.

I do not know but I cannot bring this sort of feeling to a human being. If I love someone, if she wants to go, then go lorrrrrrrr...... It may sting, but it will definitely not hurt as much as letting go of my toys. Even if my wife and baby say they do not want me anymore, then let them go lorrrrrrrrr.... Or even any love toy or extra marital affair. I can spend shagloads of money on them, but my emotional attachment will be not that great. If they wish to leave, then so be it. It is just like my ex, she wanted to chicken out of a 4 year relationship, I let her... In the end, I married the greatest woman I can find... And even if this woman wants to leave, I will allow her to do so too.... I can remember there was one time on our first year, it was April Fool's day and she wanted to play a joke on me.... She started the conversation by "Dear... I think we better call it quits... It is too difficult to have a long distance affair".... Well guess what??? No tears, no wails nothing.... I was cool and calm and told her that if she found someone new, she is free to choose him and that I knew it would be difficult and that is why I was willing to tough it out. If she were too chicken shit to tough it out with me, then too bad...... hehehehe.... It really pissed her off big time.

So that is why I am wierd in a way. Perhaps I am too old and or set in my ways... I am happy being alone and doing my own things. So even if I love someone, it is always only a matter of the degree or the depth of love. Man.... am I wierd.

Anyways, sorry for the false alarm... hehehehehehehehe