Updates and So on

Well, I have been travelling like a crazy dog (but luckily not crazy enough to bite anyone yet) for the past few weeks while still keeping sane for all the problems and troubles I have at home... It goes to show that we do not need anyone (and I mean any one hor) to get thru.

Last week, I got back and followed energizer rabbit and sis to see the Oncologist. Her looked at her and then the records and then recommended oral chemo only. It was a sigh of relief as this would not tax the old lady too much and also at the same time would leave us a bit more able to work and also be not so expensive. You know something? I may sound really harsh and they (mom and sis) do not understand why I am like that, but lets face it, when people are in lala land for whatever reason, someone has to stay grounded to be able to bring the whole caper through. If everyone goes to lala land, I can promise you that nothing will get done and more problems will crop up,

Why do I say that it is a good thing that mom is only getting oral? She is 71. If she gets the injectable, it will cause her to lose her hair, feel like dying and so on... For her, would she want that sort of life? She keeps saying she does not want to die, well babe... at 70... you are looking at the grim reaper smiling at you and he is saying "see you soon". How much more time will you have? 5yrs? 10? So every day and every moment is already something that you have won. (oh yea... that also does not mean u have to sell away the farm and all its lifestock just to enjoy)

Chemo is bad and she will be sick and tired and also be throwing up and so on. In the end, will she really enjoy the life she is having? It is like Hemodialysis. It will keep you alive, but for the cost and the pain? Is it worth it?

Let us not forget that mom does have dementia and is therefore not really able to understand that she wants and or how to get it or what she feels. Take a child... ask him or her what she wants and she will say "Ice cream" or something. But do they know why? Do they know if it is good for then or not? So I really do not get it when people say that the energizer rabbit is ok... She was showing signs of dementia before the cancer and she will still be demented even if she is cured.

It is sad and no one wants to see someone they love leave. Especially if it is a parent. But we have to be realistic and not to be too happy or ecstatic. My sis was jumping up and down like Tom Cruise when he was on the Oprah Show and I was just wondering... hmmm... there is still a tump in the liver and the cancer has spread to the lumph nodes... so nothing much to be happy about leh... And to top it all off... we must now start to think of contingencies and also other scenarios... If the lump in the liver grows and is cancerous how? Rabbit can die of a heart attack and other complications... Then how? All these things are still big problems we have to face either now or in the future.

And guess what... this is a good chance to say that what can we get from the gahmen about this? Haizzzzz.... my gentle reader... that is why I always say... do not depend on others...

Anyways... thats the round up of the top news for the week. My darling baby girl jus had her BCG and she was flapping big time the whole night through. I think she must have been pretty pissed off about the prick.. I will get to see her soon and will be with her from then on... I see it as the beginnging of a new journey and a new life... What do you think?