We are dead, but we don't know it yet

This may seem very intriquing as a title, but it is true. I take the example of my family.. My mom has dementia and is therefore quite unable to make rational decisions some times.I was speaking to her about Dr. Simon Ong, who my cousin is using for his father's cancer and she kept repeating, "I don't want... I only want doctors with a doctorate"... Uuhhhh if you do not have a doctorate, no one can call you doctor hor.... If you mean a professorship... come one!! Are you trying to buy the fountain of youth? In fact, at 71, what else are you looking forward to? What else do you want? Even without going for chemo, she is already planning to go to Thailand in November. I did not know we were in the money printing business man.!!..

And my sister is no better... her response is.. how much can a trip like this cost? Come one man... we have not even gone for the chemo yet... do we know how much it will cost? If we say ok... we have X amount and will use Y amount for the chemo and then save the rest for her trips.. I have no qualms... we are signing blank cheques on the basis of keeping an old and demented person happy? I wud rather spend the money on a coconut husk man. What happens is the treatment is 100k? Where will we find the money? Sell our houses and give away our children? My sister says.."as children, we have no say and if mom can live till 100, we will support her". Ok... fine... when her dementia flares up and she starts to accuse my sister of trying to murder her and so on, it will bite her so badly in her asse. Future planning is important... Not living just for the now and hoping that the future will solve itself. Whatever we do now is and will be a direct result of our future.

And then the chairman of John Hopkins called and asked how my mom is and now they will go back to see him. Uhhhhh... that place has oil shieks for customers... We cannot afford it... Yet they claim... "Ohhh just to see see only lor"!!!??? If the guy claims that a golden horn of the purple rhino will cure my mother... I can bet my bottom dollar that they will grab a gun and kill all the rhinos in Africa and those in captivity.

Death cannot be avoided. Cure the cancer but you will still not avoid dying. If we go into this thinking that we have card blanche, we will be so screwed. My sister has a lot of insecurities and does not and will not handle the passing of my mom. And my mom being demented and probably fearing for the shit my dad will heap on her when she passes does not want to go. So they will be on the search of the golden horn and the purple rhino. I will only say one thing. I have 50k and 20k... if it is used up... they can do their own hunting because I will be out of it. Most old people will know that they need to help the living to live. But you see dear readers, my mom is not normal any more... There was a time when she was recieveing 1.5k a mth from the repayment of a loan and it was still not enough. She kept asking for money from me and sis. This resulted in me not being able to pay my credit card bills and the credit cards companies initiated bankruptcy proceedings. She does not understand that fact. All she thinks is that she helped me... Yea how the bloody hell did I end up in such a wonderful mess unless she was the one who initiated it?

So she will burn up all our family resources without even considering the right or the wrong and or the good or the bad. I am not trying to condemn her to death. I want her to live and also to be well. But then I will not allow her and or my sister to chase the purple rhino just to appease their own petty insecurities and consciences. This is where I have to make myself clear. Full blown chemo will most probably stop the aggressive spread of the disease. But it will be bad in the sense that mom's hair will fall and she will wish she were dead. Chemo is a toxin and you can die from it.. So how would we feel if we spent all our money and then had nothing for mom's funeral? Why would she want to live till she is 80 and be a stark raving coconut husk?

So as you can see my gentle reader.. this is where I am really in a quandry... I am looking like a bad guy because both mother and sister are in lala land. How will sister feel if mom bites her again? So why go through the hassle?

Any doctor can come up and say.. lets give 250k of chemo and treatment and see hor.... I can have the choice of going into heavy debt to do so... but will it be worth it? To give a person a few more years is important. To show your love for your parent is important. But where will it end? Why not also consider cryogenics, where you freeze someone till a cure is found? We cannot escape death... the moment we are born, we are all bound to die... So that is why... we are all dead... it is only whether we know it or not.