Life still goes on

Hi Ho... After all the trials and tribulations at least my daughter is 100 days plus old. She had a simple ceremony, (well we sorta fell in one swoop into the "poor" people's category when my energizer got her cancer and that is still without treatment yet hor) and she was fed a small fish and other savouries. This is symbloic to show that she will have all she wants and needs to eat during her life time.

Don't worry, I do not come from the side of the family that spends a lot of money so my wife made sure that baby got small and cheap food... hmmmm... wonder if this is gonna bite me in the asse some time in the future??? Maybe because we stinged on the food, she will get hungry and come back and complain to me and wife that we did not bother to give her good food for her 100day ceremony???

Well no choice lah... She is still too young to take solids anyway. And the thing is, I also need to save every damn cent I can.

So as you can see from her vid, she definitely does not enjoy her grandad's company and was therefore quite obviously trying not to look at him or the food he is giving to her... Again.. I am wondering if this will bite me in the asse again in the future.

I truly believe though that no matter what happens, what will be will be. My mom keeps on saying that she is so poor thing and that she has fallen on hard times... Boy, she does not know what is hard times yet man... Imagine if we were to all go into bankruptcy because of her treatment. In fact, I am now considering trying to down grade myself and my op so that I can save some money. I have a stone in my prostate and it is a biatch!!! Now I am considering a shared room and also a quick short and sharp op. No choice lah... if it is gonna recur and it will, then I will have to pay for it by myself the next time round.

Anyway, mom asked me what will happen if I were to get cancer and so on and my truthful answer is... I will pop myself. Why go through the agony and put my own relatives through the agony? We are already poor and will not be able to afford another round of serious or chronic illnesses. So I will take it like a man and opt to go. If it does not kill me fast enough, then I will kill myself. My dear readers, if you have been following my blog, you will know that I am dead serious. I do not want to be a bother to anyone. I find that to have anyone saying that I am "so poor thing" and insult to me and my family. We do not need and neither do we want anyone's pity. (To be frank, I am only saying this for me, my wife and kid hor)

So like I said, that is why I title this thread "Life goes on". We as living people must think of how we are to bring our families and our dependants on. So if in leaving, we open the chances to the others, I will do so. It may just be me, but I will not want to spend horrendous amounts of money and put my wife and daughter in the poor house and or to spend what they cannot afford. I am also really scared that if energizer lives on, she will want to go for this and that trip and who gets to foot the bill? Me!!! I cannot depend on my sis to pay for it and so who gets to clear the shit? Me!! Will she be a good girl and not spend money.... well looking at the previous year's blogs... I really doubt so... Will she get better and climb out of lala land.... In my dreams perhaps...

But life goes on... Even if the gahmen does not help... Life will still have to go on... I just hope that they will put into law that we children must look after our parents and I will be the first in line in the meet the people's sessions to ask the gahmen how they will help us to look after our parents?? Onco treatments.... based on the class we checked her into... If she is private paying patient... no hope of downgrading... (yea... the dr was swearing himself blind that it was not cancer and that was why we put her in a private ward!!!) So now who will allow us to dowgrade? If she gets better and wants to go with her rich frens to here and there... who's gonna pay for it??? So as you can see dear readers, you have a very very frustrated little bunny here... and it is not my wife and or the energizer rabbit hor..