A Proud but confused Dad

This is a ultra sound pic of my little baby in my wifey's womb....3.7mm..... If you think about it.... dats damned small.... But it still never ceases to amaze me lor.... how we can produce life like dat.... It is a miracle.... esp after having gone through so much trouble, time and cost.....

But seriously... after my first sight of the little thing... it has made me change a lot of things I do and also take for granted..... I used to be a bit of an idiot especially when I am driving.... Now this idiot refuses to be pushed and is so careful when driving I think I better put on a "P" plate.... I guess that now the fact has hit.... the fact has dawned and I have to make sure that I stay around to look after the "it" till at least it is big enough..... Although I do not know when I old enough.... I know of some 30yr olds who are still recieveing money from their parents..... (thoughtful quietness..... turned into cold hard fear... what happens if my child also like dis?)

Well, the thing is we never know what the future will bring.... But as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, the future will come.... So now is the time to build that future.....

I am supposed to be by her side...but I "love" my job too much.... I do not know why guys take it as a time to have fun and or to go out with other ladies.... Maybe it is because they feel that for the next 9 mths... they will not be getting any so they are "itchy".... Well guys... u are married.... if u want any "nooky", you have to be nice to your wife and love her in the way she wants to.... and she will give you all the nooky or honey you want.... It is the same here mah..... my honey is still as sweet as the day we married and even before man.... And if I have to wait 9mths... I will do so man......

Well gotta go for now... will be overseas again for the whole of next week... I love my job too much man......

Hmmmmmmm

Sori lah hor.... but today's topic will be baby again.... hehehehe.... not interested then switch off lor...

The first pic you see is a pic of a baby in the womb at 4 weeks.... No lah silly... it is not a pic of my baby lah.

The second pic is a picture of what the baby will look like in 4 years... if it does not change into a human being....



Hehehehehe.... a few people that I have shown it to have actually been pretty chuffed about it... But stoooopppiiiid mom sorta did not have any reaction whatsoever.... Which is sorta expected lah... since her mind may not be working too well.,... But seriously, now she is asking to go and see my wife... while a week back she was saying that she did not want to waste money.... My question is this... the last time when she went to Japan with me... she fainted on the flight there.... and all she did was to eat sleep and eat and sleep again.... She can read or speak Japanese.... She will be staying at a hotel and not in our home.... So she will cost me money and also time... I will be there to make sure my wife is comfortable and doing well, I do not have the time to look after 2 people..... She may claim that she is low maintenance... but my previous experience has proven truly the opposite... I do understand why she wants to go... but the reality of the situation may not allow it.... Lets face it.... eat sleep and eat sleep..... What help can she do? And we will have to buy double of what we usually buy just to allow her to eat and sleep.

Anyway.... back to the real baby.... I think that it will be 1 mth old in the womb on the 19th or 20th.... How I know is because those are the possible conception dates..... I will also admit that I was too lazy to do anything on any other dates too... hahahahaha... It was basically... "Time of month ah? Okay open wide.... come to daddy... and job done in 5 minutes" hahahahaha... Tired and old lah.... If that is the case... the scary thing is that there are only 8 mths left... Shit man... scary man..... Imagine... late June will be the birth date.... The child will be a little samurai cow or bull.... Oi oi oi oi,...... End of the year, which is coming soon will leave me only 6 months..... But the sad things is that we have not even told her parents about it yet.... Because my mom-in-law is virtually going on strike with the sis-in-law's baby.... She is virtually hanging signs saying "Go Home....Get Out!!!" I think that it is because the sis and husband are still young and so not know that the parents also need their space and peace.... And if they want to be around, then they will have to contribute as much as they can.

So as you can see, it is not all fun and games... like some other little babies think... Everything in life has some form of hardship to go along. So we must be careful and also be thoughtful of everything we do and want.....

Mumble and grumble

We Sillyporeans love to moan and groan.... and it is the same with me... If I did not like to moan, then I would most probably not have this blog.... But seriously speaking, last night the full implications of my wifey being pregnant hit me like a ton of bricks..... In fact, it hit me twice and both times.... hard.... hehehehe

The first brick or tonnes of bricks was actually the fact that we created life and that we would be parents really soon. Our un-born child is almost a month old.... Calculating back to the only possible days of recent conception. Oooooooohhh responsibility time man.... Will it, (I am using it because I am still not sure of its sex... though I am pretty convenced it will be a she) come out okay and healthy? Will I be a good dad??? And I just bought a shit expensive car.... so I am truly up shit creek without a shitting paddle!!!!! But seriously a lot of worries just popped into my mind.... Doommmm on me.... Ooooohhh Shiiiitttttt.....paddle paddle... yucks yucks....

Then after settling the worries of the first ton of bricks... came the second ton..... how to look after wife and make sure that she is ok when she is so far away and she cannot travel now? She will have to go to the doctors by herself.. get herself tested and so on by herself... I do pity her man.... I would like to fly to her and be with her and look after her as this will be coming into the second month of her pregnancy soon.... hmmmmmm... well maybe as soon as I finish my flying schedule, I'll take a break and go.

Ladies and gentlemen, seriously speaking, the reason why our birth rates are so low is that it is a daunting experience....

Doom on me...Positive!!!

My wife as I mentioned... has been late.... She did a pregnanc test today and the kit says...."Positive".... I am happy and should be happy... but then... as I mentioned a few blogs ago... I also have very mixed feelings.
I have told her that the 2 batched of ahem ahem that I have put into the bank, to just get rid of 1 and to keep the other. I am not sure if 3 years down the road I will be able to produce anymore ahem ahems.

At least the cost will be not so bad s I will only be keepin 1 set of ahems.

But then she will need money to give birth and so on... so we need money... much much more money... which mean no more modding of cars.... Think I still need a new set of exhaust... hahahahahahaha.

Anyway, back to the story of the pregnancy.... Man I will have plenty of stories to tell my kids... I jus wish dat my dad was here to see all these happenings. I also wonder how come guys are always looking for other char bors.... I have discussed this topic till blue.... Now with wife being pregnant... I lagi don wanna look at other char bor already.

For me, I think the most important thing is not the bodily fluid exchange part of the relationship, but rather the feeling of being wanted or needed. This is actually an ego trip rather than anything else. Sometimes it is not the fluid thing, but is also a feeling thing. Now, this is more dangerous in my opinion. I have had the experience once in my life before. If I mention scandal to my wifey, she will know who it is as I shared with her everything about my past. This scandal is actually a lady who worked in my Thai company. She is tall and beautiful and she liked me. I also liked her a lot. But then she was a staff and I was a boss and for this and only this reason, I never approached her for anything. I am not in favour of office romance as one should think about the company first. She wanted to quit the company, perhaps so that she could try to win my heart, but once unfortunately at that time I was already attached and I told her to forget it.

Any other guy would have had her for lunch dinner and supper and then decided if he were to drop her or not.. However, I am not that type of guy... Which is why I am still damn Pissed O** when I made the joke about being a father to a son in Thailand, even my own family thought I had been naughty and that I made someone pregnant.... Haizzzz o yea of little faith.... hehehehehe

Daily status report

Hmmmmm.... my wife still has not had her time of the month and by this I do not mean the party time and so on..... so the chances of her being pregnant is getting higher.... She will test on Wed, though I was trying to get her to test on Sat or Sun or Mon or any other day other than Wed, but it is up to her.

For me, I will just be glad to have a child because I guess that it is the natural thing for a family. And the sooner, the better.... I am getting older liao...

Talking about old, a really young and interesting lady actually came into my life this weekend.... Oh ye of little faith.... Do not think that I am getting itchy or something like dat hor.... I am not that sort of guy.

She was working in the clinic I always go to and we just exchanged contacts.... That is all.... Most guys I admit will be looking for ways of getting some ahem ahem beep beep, but for me... I am not that sort of guy... For me beep and ahems are all over liao.... Perhaps did too much of it while I was younger.... I am now a one woman man.... But sad to say, not many Sillypore men are like this... Or to put it bluntly... not many men are like this.... The reason is because men are wired differently from women..... Women talk about emotions, men talk about ahem....

Woman do not give themselves to men easily... men want to have as many women as they can.... perhaps we were hardwired for that.... But ego is also a very important reason I think... What is enough? When is it enough? Be it money or honey... When will it be enough? My fren Nopp said that wen it comes to money and honey... it is never enough.... But you see, it takes a lot of discipline and self control to say that enough is enough... Some people will say that I am an idiot... but let me be the idiot... however at least I am standing on moral high ground.... and when I die.... I have one thing less afraid of answering to. hehehehe

I must say that perhaps another reason why I am taking a very high moral stance is because of perhaps the experience I had..... There was once in Aus, when I innocently asked this girl to come back to my place.... and something happened and she thought that we were going steady after a one night stand.... That sort of made me think that it is not as easy as that to have one night stands..... and then something else happened in Japan. A high school girl who I brought out for dinner and movies....(and nothing happened at all hor... no contact.... no nothing hor!!!)... she also went over the deep end and thought that I was crazy for her and she was crazy for me.... ended up stalking me for almost half a year... leaving things at my doorsteps... calling me constantly and so on... Some guys may think... waaaahh shiok.. got college girls going ga ga for u.... must makan leh.... but then they obviously forgot about the show "Dangerous Liason" or "Fatal Instinct".... Shakespeare said... "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"....

So seriously lor..... I may be a normal guy and may also have normal urges... but I think with my brain.... not my other head....That head I have decided does not make any gud decisions hahahahahaha.. Perhaps I think too much and sometimes think too much into something that does not need to be thought. But then it is better to think rather den not and get into trouble.

So now I have a wife... who is loving and is beautiful and who may be pregnant... so why do anything to endanger it? Maybe when she grows old and ugly then I will reconsider lah.... hehehehe... in your dreams... beauty is not physical... but from the heart... that is the only beauty I look for in a human.

Interesting another "hmmm" day

Man it is getting interesting as everyday that wifey has not had her "time of the month" is a day closer to a chance that she is pregnant..... However.... that ding bat told me that she was late for a whole month once..... You should have heard all the expletives coming out from the golden mouth then.... hehehehe But she will go for a pregnancy test on Sun if she is still late.....

I do hope that she does get pregnant lah.... At least we do not have to waste money on IVF this time round and just either keep the ahem ahem till the next round or try again the next round. Or if God and whichever entity smiles upon me, I will get stereo sound system with Dolby Sound Base this time.... But twins do not run in my family so I will demand a DNA test..... Seriously.... I do not believe that the higher beings and entities are so nice to me.... If they were... I'd be taller, more handsome and richer.... hahahahahaha.... Perhaps my dad would have bought me an evo before I went for NS too... jhahahahahahahahahahaa

Anyway, just joking about not believing. I do believe, but not too religiously... I pray to my Buddhas and dad twice a day and change the tea everyday. People ask me why I do it and I say that it makes me feel calm... And although I could not do anything for my dad, at least I am doing it now.

As for being taller and more handsome... it does not matter lah.... I may have said this before, but it is a rather good defense mechanism.... This is because only the false look at the surface.... A good friend lies beneath.... So if someone brushes me off just because of my looks, then it is a sign of how shallow the person is and will only be to my advantage.

But nowadays, most SG gers are also not stupid.... Perhaps a lot of them are still stuck with the material things and also the financial things, however, things are changing. (I hope!!) Seriously, there are still some char bor who will go out with a loser just because he is rich or drives a nice car or some other flashy show off thingy.... But like I have mentioned many times before.... all show and no go also no use...

For me, I drive a very down to earth car (fingers crossed and face all blue from lying).... It is fast and also powderful, but it does not really show it. I also try to drive as "normally" as I can.... Guess it is because the damned fuel prices are still so damned high and also the other prices are really unimaginable now.... I really pity the low income earner as he is well and truly screwed!

I also do not care if someone were to comment that I have a nice car as it does not matter what car a person drives or what colour his credit cards are and so on.... It matters what sort of heart you have and the type of person you are. Like I mentioned to wifey.... I do not want to leave money or assets behind... I want to leave a name behind... I want all who come to my funeral to say... "He was a great man!!!" Not..."what and assehole.... thank god he is dead"

It is actually something I am proud of... Even Naz... a very new friend said that I was not a sleazoid like other married men.... Which makes my blood boil because being married is a great honour... It means someone is willing to marry you and to be with you for the rest of your life.... unless you are married to a certain type of lady from a certain country where they are more apt of killing you off once they have collected their Sillyporean passports.

But seriously though, I am happy with what I have and it shows.... I have a beautiful wife who looks after me and I am proud to show off to all. Even if she is old and haggard, she will still have pride because she is a good wife... How many Sillypore char bors can cook, wash and iron??? And yet work at the same time? So who will be stupid enough to put that at stake? Even if someone more beautiful comes along, will this someone be able to give you the full package?

I really do not understand how come some people can take relationships so lightly? Or how some people can actually like to go and find other loves? My only loves are my car...oooopsss... I mean wife.... car and astro photography..... not necessarily in that order hor.... hehehehehehee

Anyways, gotta runs now... so will ramble on later.... ciaossssss

Hmmmmmmm

Exactly as the heading goes... I am in a sorta confused state. Wifey is supposed to be having her time of the month (I do not mean party hor) yesterday... She is late.... So what that can mean is .... she is late?? or that our efforts at natural conception was successful.... So here comes the hmmmmmmm....

After all the pain and cost... if she gets pregnant now... it is all wasted.... My efforts to produce the ahem ahem.... not exactly wasted.. however... its gonna cost to keep them till the next round.... And since I have 2 batched... it will cost me double..... Now the next hmmmmm.... my super chicken wife who does not even have the guts to pierce her ears will be so scared of the pain that she will not want a second child... so my dreams of stereo dolby sound twins is more or less down the drain and I will have to console myself with just one child... hmmmmm

But I am always positive and I guess that is where my strength is.... So no matter what comes... even if it is a false alarm... there is no harm.... Even if I only have mono sound... it is also ok.... As long as we bring up the kid and take of care it.... I am using it because I am not sure if she is really pregnant... and also which sex the child will be.... I just hope that for all the evils I have done till date, I have a child which can be properly sexed and or has no other major dysfunction.

I do have a feeling that I will have girls tho.... I do not have anything against girls... but then you have to worry a lot more for them... The cost will be the same... Clothes.. Handphones... Evo's..... But then you will worry more about girls.... A guy goes out and has a girlfriend... A dad will be pleased and proud.... some may even want to have the son's girlfriend... But a girl goes out and has a boyfriend.... Most dads will stand at the front foor with a shotgun or parang....

I will teach my kid or hopefully kids to be independant and to look after themselves... This is the only thing I can do for them as a parent.... To give them Evo's is out of the question.... hehehehehehe


Will keep you posted as and when I have the time....

Cheers and Peace out

I am a father!!!!

I just discovered yesterday that I have a son in Thailand..... Oooooohhhhh you and so many other people will say... "What have you done!!!!" It was only my beloved wife M who saw through my statement immediately and asked if Nop had a son liao... Oh ye of so little faith... Of course lah... I have been sprouting so long and so much about being a good man and father and you all can think of something wierd!!!!

So now my sis-in-law has a son, my best friend in Thailand has a son... I am really under pressure liao.... Fortunately for me, I am already starting my IVF cycle and wifey will undergo her treatment next month.... Hehehe so hopefully by latest Dec, I will post here and say that I am an expectant father.

But although everybody seems to be giving birth to males.... I have a certain feeling that my stereo sound system will be girls.... It will be cute... but they will still be girls.... No real matter lah... for me... as long as the children grow up to be valuable members of society, it is all the same to me. No real need to carry family names and so on.

Actually this brings me to some rather depressing thoughts. If I have a son, he will have to serve army or NS. And it seems like recently, a few guys have dropped dead literally. Imagine... You bring your son up till 20, perhaps some idiot parents may have given their sons high performance cars.... and then they go into NS and drop dead!!! Hehehehe... your son's evo how ah???

But then it goes into mind that how come people are dying from a little exercise? In my times, it was even harder in NS!!!! (bloody children lah... drive evo and live good life... have a bit of exercise and drop dead lor)Some more most of our children also do not spend as much time as us outside. We did not have PC, TV, or even Playstations so had to make do with our naughty little minds and come up with games.

However I must also stress that in NS, like in any other organisations, there will be a stress on achieving high honors for the battalion and unit and so on. So there will of course be emphasis on physical and job proficiency. And because the gahmen does pamper "scholars". So once these really high IQ but not necessarily high EQ people come in, they know that they are on the fast track, however, they still want to make a name for themselves so they push their guys even harder.

So that is the problem lor ladies and gentlemen... Spoil your kids.... face the future.... A spoilt brat will come back to haunt you in many ways.


Cheers,

Doing your bit for society

I will be buying some groceries and then donating them to an old folks home on Saturday. I will be doing this with 2 frens W-13Bee and also An. You may ask, how come? Did I do something wrong and want to "cleanse" myself? Naaaahhhh.... No such luck lah... I am an old man who can't be bothered to do anything much nowadays.

I have always been wanting to do my bit for society and I guess that one way is to ensure that the old are comfortable and also have some nice things to eat. They are our society's pioneer batch, those who are now qualified to go into the old folks home will be those who are 65 and above... They survived the war and brought all of us closer to the place we are now at. Some may be put in a home because they are demented and are unable to look after themselves, some are there because their children cannot look after them or they have health problems. In some ways, I would hope that the State makes more effort to look after them as this problem will increase over time. Our batch or 40 plusses will be looking at such facitlities in the near future man..... (That is if we are not lucky enough to have knocked off... kicked the bucket or died by then).

Most of them are really very poor things. Even an Alzheimer patient will have some times when they are lucid and they will feel a great sense of sadness and lonelines when they realize that they are not with their children. However, sometimes, it is better to put them in a home where they can be supervised. At Stage 5 of the 7 Stages of Alzheimer, they are already quite unable to lead normal lives, with memory and cognitive functions severely affected. This means they may wander off and not be able to find their way back home, not even know if they are eating food or rubbish and so on. There was a guy in Japan who used glue in trying to stop his feet from itching. That was because the reasoning part of his brain was dysfunctional and it registered a tube of glue as looking like insect ointment and the higher function or master brain was unable to recognise the fault in the reasoning. This is also the same with eating rubbish, because it looks like food and so it should therefore be food. Alzheimers is not just being forgetful, it is not just becoming a child.... these symptoms are just the start. It gets worse for the care-giver and also the sufferer. And if they sufferer is unaware, he or she is still lucky. He or she will slip into the deep realms of dementia and not realize it. If he or she is aware, then he or she will suffer a living death sentence. They will know that one day, their brains will cease to function and they will become vegetables. And ultimately, the brains will be so affected that it will shut down and with the all other bodily functions. Experts say that the pain will go away.... as the brain stops functioning, the pain will disappear... But what about the care-givers?

Of course.... if you brought your child up as an idiotic self centred A-hole.... then do not be worried that they will be your care-giver when you are old.... it will be off to the old folks home at the earliest sign and then they will jus visit you when it is at their convenience. So if you are about to give your child an Evo for his first car.... or the latest handphone when he or she is only 12.... you better start calling up the various homes and make an appointment and start to pay for your stay there while you still can.

But for those who really cannot help it, then it is suffering from both ends while the patient is still lucid... It may stop for the sufferer because he or she will not even be able to form a thought one day... But for those who live on.... they will forever be wrought with the question of whether they did the right thing, was it right to make the parent "suffer" and so on.

But the question is ..... and this is the important part hor ladies and gentlemen... what will the government do for us? They have already admitted that old age related problems inclusive of dementia and so on will rise. Will the care facilities be increased? Will the cost be subsidised?

In the long long past in Japan, they brought old folks to the forest so that the old folks can live and die in peace..... We do not have any forests.... and it is expensive no matter whether you put them in a home or at your own home.... The care will be intensive as you have to be on constant watch and also to ensure that they do not wander and or eat anything they are not supposed to.... In the end... the parent might even be angry in the beginning as they do not know they are slipping.

But anyway..... no matter what, whether it is my darling energizer rabbit or some other old person, they have all served our country and society and so I would like to give back something to them.... So I will be donating food and things like dat.... not money.... that is the loser's way out.... And they worse will also be those who buy coupons.... as this will only allow the home to purchase from the store the coupon is bought from.

Hope that more people will join me and please please stop spoiling your children or you might as well book a place now hor.... I'm serious hor.