Some new pics

These are some prelim pics and vids of my baby.. Hope u guys enjoy.

An interesting life and an interesting wife

Hi Ya'll, tomorrow I will start a new phase of life with my wife and baby girl... I will be going to Osaka and then on Jan, I will bring them back here for good, or till the time when they have to go back again. What is for good, what is permanent. Anyway, a fren did ask me... am I having any problems with my marriage and I responded by saying that when it comes to a marriage, nothing is a problem. If there is any obstacle, we have to work it out together and make it work together.

Wife is scheduled to go back in April next year, maybe for a mth or so. Because she will have to settle some house stuff and also some of baby's medical stuff. I want to establish a clear medical history so that if anything happens, then at least she will be well looked after there.

Now that is where the life gets interesting because it seems that there is no permanence. We seem to be apart and even when we are together, we are also not as loving as most newly married couples... (hey... though we have been married 3 years plus, I have only been with her 9 mths, so can still consider as newly weds lah..

Anyway so I was giving my wife a hard time dis morning... because I just felt like it... I told her that she is expected to meet me at the point where I will be gettin off the cab near our house....
So she better not be waiting for me at home or I will immediately get on the same cab and try to catch a flight out back to Sg..... Just joking in a way... but then
it is really true dat at least she must show an effort to bring the baby to me.... After all, I am her ATM....

I told her... "do not introduce me as ATM.... I am papa... hahaha... Bcoz I am somewhat of an ATM to them right? They only need money from me right? And this ATM does not even need any cards and pin numbers and they can have all the money they want.... oooooohhh.... I think I am getting an ulcer worrying about them and the money part.... But at least next year hoepfully will be a better year and that salaries will rise and things will be easier.... If not... I can always consider selling that little monster of mine... hahahahaha......

Some more vids

Here's a few shot of me on the track.




This is a vid of how it looks like in the car.


For those who have motion sickness, please avoid watching. Then the next one is the money shot where I was being aggressive and it was a nice vid... guess which car I am.

A Day at the trackssssss

No silly, it wasn't the race course tack, but the car track.... And oh yea... for those who think of the F1 and so on, it is also not the same. I love speed and driving the car to its limits, but I am also an old man who does not see any importance in showing off and or bragging about things. If I am good, people will surely say it... So no need to brag about it... For me, I like to drive on the track because it allows me to explore the car and how I can drive it. Here is a shot of me coing out of the pits... The vids may not be in sequence, but I will try my best.

I must be getting old

You know you are getting old when you do not enjoy a lot of things that you used to.... or maybe u are getting wiser??? I would rather call it old lah...

Anyway, I will be going to Sepang for a race because there is an invitation for all Evo 10's to do a few rounds there.... Wooohoooo.... But unlike previous times and episodes, I did nothing much this time.... In fact.... I did nothing... hehehehe... While the others were setting their cars up, changing their tires, programming and so on, I am just sitting by... Why? Because I am old... no lah... there is nothing much to set up if you are not going to be aggressive and not going to attack the track like a maniac... I will just drive at my own pace and enjoy myself lor....

In fact.... yesterday, I tried to drive at high boost, which is supposed to give my car around 380 horses... I chickened out very soon.( ai serious... I heard round objects drop on the road when I was stepping hard on the accelerator and I am pretty sure they came from me....)... Why do I need so much power and why do I want it? So I am happy with my car as it is and even on the track, I have nothing to prove.... I must be getting old....

It is just like womanising and gambling... I have not bought 4D in a jolly long time... Not just weeks, but months... It is only when the inspiration strikes me that I will buy and if I do not hit... I will curse at myself for being mis-inspired.... hehehehehe... And I have not bought Toto for years... I think gambling is really not worth it, though some people may think that it is their chance out of the sh*t that they are in.

Womanising is also the same... I wud rather spend time and money in my car or family than a lady.... Of course the 2 ladies, wife and Tina will be having all they want and need. But when it comes to having an affair or another girl... I also feel that it is not worth it... Some guys may want to have some form of thrill and or a feeling of a girl loving them in both emotional and physical way... However, perhaps I am getting old.... Man I must be old... I am repeating myself... hahahahaha..But seriously, why do men do it??? My wife gives me everything I need and my daughter takes away everything I have... so why need another girl to do the same things? hahahahaha.

Some guys have ego, but being short and plump all my life, I do not have any ego.... Nothing to be egotistical about lah.. hahahaha.... Drive a hot car?? So what... I am paying through the nose for it.... Have a hot wife... she is not so hot in bed..... Earn a lot of money... man... you have not seen me spend my money.... So nothing great lah...

Anyway, back to the race... Many say that it is dangerous and or exciting... depending on who says it lah.... But the good thing is that there will be very few cars and i will be among the last ones.... A long long way away from the rest.... In case the front cars collide and then I am unable to brake in time... and I do not want to be in front bcoz I do not want any pressure from young hot blooded kids.....I am an old man who has a weak heart... hahahahahaha....

But seriously though, I am feeling my age... But do not wori, I will not be enjoying second childhood and so on anytime soon.... my first childhood has not even finished yet.

Anyway.... I was realy lucky in the sense that I have added some things to my car, but... But... BUT they were all free..... yess freeeeee..... why..... barter trade... heee heeee... I got a new set of brakes..... which are only slotted.... why??/ because my fren got his set and they were only slotted.... mine has holes in them some more... so it looks nicer... ok lor... changeeeeeee....Then I have a HKS painted on my intercooler... did I buy it? Nope... the garage painted it on for freeeee.... why bcoz I said it would be their advantage...Since they are the main distributor of HKS products... hehehehehe...

Then my friend gave me a set of exausht guards because I have been treating him for dinners and lunches and so on.... not bad hor???? Must be nice to be a nice old man... hahahahaha

Anyways... I am looking forward to having fun on Sat man....

A lemon or a Cherry?

Good question isn't it? My "ex" has so many recalls that I will become a regular at the dealer because the problems have to be fixed. My SST gearbox is also so hard to fix that only the dealer will be able to plonk in a new gearbox if mine blows up.... That is why I am biting the bullet and going to them for regular servicing. Thank god I am not driving a merc or beemer, but the servicing fee is still quite hefty!!! So did I get a lemon or is it still a cherry? The jury is still out on that because I myself do not know.

It is just like the recent controversy of the HDB, the HDB says that they are providing the bare necessities that we require and even Minister Mah says that in his time, a 3 room flat was a palace. Well, brother, I am from the same era.... Yes we did live in rather squalid conditions where water was taken from the kampung well and it was a scary adventure to go out in the middle of the night to pee or take a dump... Especially when you have a stupid mother who says "beware of the pontianak" when you go out!!! But brother, if you ask a kid how he shits now, he or she will say a toilet bowl.... Most of the post 1980's batch do not even know that a squatting toilet ever existed. Well, the 1980's batch is now the young new generation who are looking for houses. Of course they will want to have better facilities than what they had before. If they came through a childhood where they had to run all the way to the outhouse and be aware of the pontianak, then they would know what a palace is!!!.... Again, lemon or cherry???

And talking about pontianaks, we were really a simple bunch of goondoos back then. Being told that some ghost or ghoully would scare the heck out of us back then. Imagine, energizer rabbit told me one fine dark... scary morning before I walked through a slightly forested place, next to a river to school... "Be careful hor... people say a pontianak escaped from Malaysia hor"... Seriously I think her lack of brain power sorta was a long term sort of thing that came from when I was young... It may not be Alzheimer's dementia... But she is just plain stupid?

Haizzzzz. Lemons and cherry's... No matter how sweet something is in the beginning, it will still become sour in the end... heee heee....

And talking about sour, just a few days ago, I was really suspicious that my wife's milk..... The reason, we chinese have a saying... "on the 7th month, the baby will sit down, the 8th she will crawl and 9th she will start to sprout teeth". So Tina is beginning to sit and my father in law bought her a chair and she was trying it out. And it tickled her so pink that she was laughing out so loudly and for so long that I suspected that my wife's milk was fermented and Tina was drunk... Hee heee... I really miss my two darlings.....

This is stupid!!!!

I almost hate Nokia now... I lost all my contacts again!!!... sob sob sob... so pls everyone.... pls sms me yr numbers as soon as you read this... if not.. do not blame me for not contacting u... but of course for some of you who think that I will not be contacting you and disturbing you... I have my ways of finding out... so be a good boy or girl and sms me before I come and find you.......

Anyways, life is really interesting... I have been eating more packed food... most probably because I have been busy, but also perhaps because mom is not really feeling good and also the new maids are not real great cooks... So I buy food home and eat.... Man I wish my wife was here.... at least I will have properly cooked food.....

Anyway.... do you remember Homer Simpson and how he goes "Dope!!!" everytime he screws up??? I had a night full of "Dope!!!" a few nights ago... What happened was that I love my packed rice to be drowning in curry.... Perhaps I am getting old and do not like solid food or perhaps the fact that most cooked rice is not dat nice.... So I asked for extra curry to hide the flavour.... and while at home, I was trying to put it onto my tray to bring it into the room to eat... and I poked my finger through the base of the darned styrofoam box.... Curry came pouring out thru the bottom.... "Dope!!!!" and so I turned it over in the hopes that it would not run out... but "dope!!!" the whole pack, food, rice and stuff fell thru the top..... DOOM on me MIKEY!!!!! Luckily... I pride myself in having a clean kitchen top and floor... so like the satay bee hoon incident... it was scrape scape.. curse curse... mumble grumble and I had a pretty unhappy dinner.....

Hehehehehehe

Pure Madness???

I read with great sadness.... the news that our great MM now regrets having made a policy to force us, the children of the late 60's and 70's to learn a second language. It is ok to learn a second language but to be penalized for not being good at it???? How many of us had to run to overseas uni's because we were just not proficient enough in our second language to go to the next level?? How much did our parents sacrifice to enable us to go overseas? At that time there were also only 2 uni's in Sillypore, how many of us could get in? Night time and part time courses in Uni and other schools to enable us to get our degrees were also non existent... And to top it all off, what is this bloody obsession over degrees in the first place anyway??? Have a cert and you are smart??? Ooohhhhh... that is the biggest mistake one can make in life man... And he who assumes that because he has 7 "A" and is a superior being is an idiot!@!!!

But not knocking anyone or anything now... So now how??? Brown cow?? Will the gahmen pays our poor parents back for the money they spent on the lost generation? We are the lost generation for sure... Neither here nor there.... All results of social and educational experiments that in hindsight were wrong. 2 is enough is also another big gripe I have... now we do not have enough and have to import foreign talents. Our reliance on foreigners of all colours and races is amazing!!!

I was walking down the bottom of my block and I met PRC and Philippino.... Our heartland is not our heartland any more. I am not saying that it is wrong.... but hey... what about us who went through hell and back... in the educational system, in the army and now in society??? What do we get? But then like I have always said, I have no need or any want to ask for anything from anyone or anything.... I will survive on my own and earn my own keep.... I do not want to be called... "poor thing"

More Pics of my little baby

Here are some more pictures of my little baby... But u know wat? I will not spoil her. I am not like some of the parents here who will do everything for their children. My intention is to give her the basics and then allow her to grow from there.

Actually talking about that, I was just thinking about the law the gahmen will iniate making it a law for children to look after their parents... What happens when the parents become demented due to old age and are then like a child? Since we have a law to look after aged parents but not childish parents, then how?

Hehehe... for me, I will look after my family... period... Be they old or young, think old or think young, I will look after all of them. If not, then I will be a monkey's uncle.... Luckily there are no other people in my family, especially the children who are born in the year of the monkey... But then if there are, they will be 3 cycles away from me or more... scary man... each cycle is 12 years... so that is how old I am now... Man... It is scary!!!

As for the energizer rabbit, she is enjoying the attention given to her because of her medical status. But for me, I really hate it when someone says to me "Oh you are so poor thing".. Maybe I am just realistic, but to have someone say that I am poor thing will mean I need the sympathy of someone and that is what I do not want. Help or not, I will want to depend on my own. And I will want to do things on my own... not depend on others... So please hor dear readers... do not say "Poor thing" to me hor....

It is just like one of the old women who was mistakenly photographed by a newspaper going around collecting cardboard boxes. They thought that she was homeless because her children did not want her... But in fact, she chose her own life... Maybe I should point them to energizer.... Since she loves being the "poor thing", she will paint a picture of us abusing her and how she is in such a "poor" state. After all, she was angry that I asked her frens to tell her to be careful with her spending. Hey.... At least $150 a week on traditional medicine, $600 a month or more on chemo drugs, another 200-300 on consultation and another 500 on mahjong... Yeaps... we don print money, but we sure as hell have a heck of a lot of money man.... A normal person would be really really sorry for having cost so much to stay alive man....

But that is her and I am me... I will do what I can to make the last years... no matter how many for her to be as comfortable as possible.

In an airplane... wat would you do?

You know.... just before taking off, there is this really boring video about if in a "situation" what should you do... but have you ever wondered what you would do?

1) In the event of sudden depressurization, air masks will fall from the ceiling. Please put your own on before helping the children:

First of all, nowadays, bloody sillyporeans treat their children better than they treat themselves. My sis already said that she will put her children's on first before her own... She does not understand the basic rule that if you are not able to look after yourself, you cannot look after anyone else. So most of them will say "screw this!!! I gonna make sure my bloody investment lives on first!!!".

But lets face it, if there is a bang and air is being sucked out and air masks are dangling, I think my first action will be to check my seat belt... I am short and not sure if the bloody mask will reach me if I were just to grab it sitting down... If people are flying left and right out the airplane... I think I will risk hypoxia than to be a hero and release the seat belt and grab the mask. Only when everything is settled, then slowly grab the mask and take deep breaths... Hey... sudden depressurization... meaning air is being sucked out... just hold your bloody breath lah....

2) In the event of an emergency landing... Please assume the brace position:

Yea right.... I am about to die and I have to assume either the position with my arms outstretched or lean down and hug my legs??? I would rather find some pretty chick and hug her instead... after all, we are gonna die and why not die with a smile and happiness in the heart. Maybe grab the stewardess???

3) Please put on your life vests but do not inflate it inside the plane.
Uuuuuhhhhhh.... YOu know how kia su some idiots are... not only will they be inflating their vests inside, but they will also be grabbing whatever extras they can and wear 3 or 4 vests... Why not... can float better mah.... For me I will still grab a stewardess.... Why not float wif someone u can rabba at the same time. Don care lah... sink lor.... at least u go wif a smile..

4) The slides can become life rafts in the case of a water landing.
Yea... right.... If I am not mistaken, the ends should not have walls because if not, wen u are sliding, you will come to an adrupt stop!!! So won't water be seeping over the top and bottom part of the slides???? Not me man... I am grabbing a stewardess man.....

5) Please do not wear sharp or high heel shoes and slide down the slide.

Yeaaaaa ok... I am a guy... why the hell will I be wearing high heels.... oooooohhh... I forgot I am short... hehehehehe

6) Please leave everything behind and exit the aircraft....

Right... Then if picked up by some fishing boat and they cannot ascertain my citizenship, (being able to speak with a lah does not mean I am a Sillyporean... in as much as being able to speak with an American accent does not mean u are a better person) and what if I end up being a stateless person with no money and waiting in some camp or hospital??? Besides... even though being short and fat are pretty distinctive features... I would still like to be identified.... Hmmmm maybe better not grab a stewardess because if my body is found hugging a beautiful babe... wifey will curse me till the end of days........

7) If there is smoke, the cabin will have lights on the floor to lead you to the exits......

I wonder which genius came up with that thing? Kinda cool... but goondoos will not being following the instructions lah... They will be running on top of everyone trying to get out... Do not forget hor.... we are sillyporeans hor... Kia su can also equal kia see...

Screw this man... I will grab a stewardess and then run man.....

8) The nearest exit need not be the one in front of you.

Aba den??? But lets face it lah... in a panic situation, who will have such a clear mind as to coolly consider where the nearest exit will be.... front or back??? We will scream and run like headless chickens and then go for the exit we can see..... For me, I will be grabbing a stewardess....

As you can see, I have been really flying too much liao.

Hmmmmmm...

A wierd thing happened to me today. For the avid readers, they will ask, " so what else is new". However, it was wierd in the sense that I was clearly the wrong guy and yet, a Ang Moh couple walked up to me and asked me where a particular mosque was. I am not being racist or what, but you can ask me where a temple is and I may not be able to answer at all. So what happened was that I pointed out that I was not really the best guy for the job, but I do remember a mosque somewhere nearby and pointed the directions to it. I do hope that they got to where they wanted to go.

For me, I try to be helpful as much as I can. It is just me, but sometimes, I feel that it could be a bad thing if we are not suited for the task. For example, if someone wanted to go shopping, I would be the last person you should ask. Or if someone wanted to go somewhere, my sense of places is also really bad.... I need even a GPS sometimes just to get home... and Sg is so small, if you keep driving around, sooner or later you will get back to square one.Or at least close to where you started. All roads lead to Rome was the ancient saying... In our country, all roads lead almost to no where.... Hey we are only no more than 25km long and 15km high.... Its not a big country...

Anyways, at least my stupid old car is now on its final legs and will be really gone by this weekend and the next question will be how the hell am I gonna repay the money for getting rid of it. 36k is not a small sum by any standards and how to pay for it will be the question. It does not matter how I get the money or where, but I will have to repay it. My pride is way too big and I always pay my debts.

You know, it is a good thing I do not gamble or waste money on cars or women anymore. I just do not understand how some guys can do it. I think thst perhaps it is because I see the end and the goal and that is why I am able to "not" do it.

But in so saying, it will be interesting to see how life will be changed by the IR's because people will have an additional avenue of "spending" their money. Also, in my opinion, the darker side of life will rear its ugly head and a lot of people will be affected. How I mean by this is simple. Many still consider a windfall from gambling as the way out. If I am dirt poort and I need to get out of the rut, a win at the lottery is an opportunity out. But how much will they have to "invest" to stand a chance for the win is another problem all together. to spend a thousand to get a hundred thousand may seem like pretty good odds, but if you cannot even afford a hundred, then the odds are not good at all.

Then if you have spent your last hundred and are desperate, where will you turn to? Who will be there? The loan sharks and other elements. So I think that it is a vicious cycle. This is a cycle not many can get out of.

So I do hope that the people out there take care and not overspend what they do not. Cheers and peace out one and all.

She is going to be gone

Was what we had, just a dream? I spent a huge fortune on her and will spend another fortune on her, but was she ever to give me the satisfaction? How will I feel when she is truly gone? Will I be able to give her up? To feel her beneath me, it was heaven. But perhaps it was all not for me? Was I a fool? Was I just being too silly? Sob Sob sob sob sob.......

Now back to reality.... no it was not a girl hor.... It may sound like a girl.... but it is actually the old car that I had, the Ralliart Lancer that I gave my whole life to... heee heeeee.... I am now really borrowing the funds to get rid of her... But it is with a sentimental feeling and a bit of nostalgia. Hopefully I will be able to clear her by next week and finally be able to be free of her and have only one car. It is not that I don't like my new baby. I do love her very much, but I am a sentimental SOD.

I do not know but I cannot bring this sort of feeling to a human being. If I love someone, if she wants to go, then go lorrrrrrrr...... It may sting, but it will definitely not hurt as much as letting go of my toys. Even if my wife and baby say they do not want me anymore, then let them go lorrrrrrrrr.... Or even any love toy or extra marital affair. I can spend shagloads of money on them, but my emotional attachment will be not that great. If they wish to leave, then so be it. It is just like my ex, she wanted to chicken out of a 4 year relationship, I let her... In the end, I married the greatest woman I can find... And even if this woman wants to leave, I will allow her to do so too.... I can remember there was one time on our first year, it was April Fool's day and she wanted to play a joke on me.... She started the conversation by "Dear... I think we better call it quits... It is too difficult to have a long distance affair".... Well guess what??? No tears, no wails nothing.... I was cool and calm and told her that if she found someone new, she is free to choose him and that I knew it would be difficult and that is why I was willing to tough it out. If she were too chicken shit to tough it out with me, then too bad...... hehehehe.... It really pissed her off big time.

So that is why I am wierd in a way. Perhaps I am too old and or set in my ways... I am happy being alone and doing my own things. So even if I love someone, it is always only a matter of the degree or the depth of love. Man.... am I wierd.

Anyways, sorry for the false alarm... hehehehehehehehe

Happenings and comings and goings

First of all, any frens or relatives who changed their numbers within the last 2 years, 2007 and 2008, please send me an sms with your number because I lost all my previous data when I changed phones... so pls pls pls... sms me hor.

Anyway, I have been flying around like a dog without a home and am really quite tired out now. Like I said "I am getting too old for this shit". But other than that, my baby is driving my wife bonkers... I think it is because there is no one else to help care for the baby and of course being a new mother, she is also extra careful about a lot of things. I got the easy and lucky end of the stick I guess.But do not worry, I will do my best as a daddy when we are together again.

I only hope that my next child, will be a boy because like I mentioned before, having the youngest child being a girl will mean that daddy here will have to spoil her and that is really not what I want to do. But I have noticed that no matter what happens,most of the guy frens I know really do spoil their smallest kids especially if they are girls... Sori hor... I am not knocking girls down hor.

Anyway, so back to baby. Seems like she can now flip over multiple times and this is driving my wife crazy because she has to ensure that there is proper padding for little dynamo to do so... Also while she is dreaming (dynamo that is) she will whimper or cry out and then wifey will wake up and wonder wat is happening I guess that this is all part of growing up.

I am just wondering how some people cope with it. Because we have a friend who divorced her husband quite soon after having her daughter. The reason being that he had mother complex... But I do not think it is sexual, only thing is that he really listened to everything his mom said and so they had to divorce...

I know of another fren who is now in the midst of such a situation, but luckily they have not gotten married. It is sad lah... I mean that sometimes there is a need to listen to your parents, but if it is about your wife who you want to live the rest of your life with, I guess you have to be able to make the balance.

I also feel that parents should be able to let their children go. I mean... someone asked me if I would allow my daughter to live with a guy before they are married. And my answer is yess.... most definitely. The reason? Because you will never know a person truly unless you have lived with him or her. And if you do not live with him or her and get married, then find out you cannot stand the way he snores, or the way he pees everywhere but the bowl, and want to divorce, it will be too late.

Lets face it, a man being divorced is not a problem, as long as he has money, he can get divorced and re-married. A woman will find it a bit harder... As you may well know... I may be conservative, but I also try to think way ahead... But of course if my girl says she wants to live in with her boyfriend and she is only 18... she will get such an asse whooping, her nice young butt will not forget it.


K... gotta goes for nowsssssss.... Ciaossssss..

Lighter News

YOu know, in a world of gloom and doom, it is important to try to find the lighter side of things so that we can cheer ourselves up and to have something to look forward to in life. And I do not mean irrational things here hor.

My only happiness is news of how my baby is growing and how she is changing. Seems like now she can flip herself, from back to front. However, because her arms are still not strong enough, she cannot flip back... But according to my wife, it is like her favourite hobby now and she will flip and flip and flip... And once she flips, she will look proudly at mommy.... perhaps hoping for a praise. But of course poor mommy has to flip her back to her back and it gets tiring and irritating.

So as you can see my dear readers, finding something to make you happy is an important thing. For me, the simplest things will just set me off.... In a good way of course.

How come life is like that?

You know happy readers, as you may have gathered from my posts, I will not spoil my kid. She may be an angel, but still, in treating her like an angel, she may turn out to be the devil. So we promise, (wife and me) that we will not mistreat her, but will bring her up properly and not spoil her. We will not give her instant noodles just because it tastes nice and will not give her her own personal TV, laptop or other things. If she wants something, she will have to learn to earn it.

But then, in the recent news, a man killed his daughter because she screwed around with his cigs and he went crazy... I am sure my daughter will have icthy fingers and want to play with mine too. But I doubt if I will go crazy enough to kick and punch her... A bitch slap here and a kidney punch there... maybe... but not all that bad lah... Cigarrettes can always buy mah... children... expensive to remake hor.

It is like the mentality of people nowadays, or perhaps Sillyporeans I might say has really gone down the dumps. We get flustered easily, do not care about others and only worry about ourselves. Case in point, traffic. People cut in and out of lanes with no regard for others. Or they will do stupid things that will make the mother who made them very worried. And for what purpose? I have no idea. If they want to meet the maker in a fast and early way, let it not be by endangering others. Also, just getting themselves a bit inconvenienced will mean that they will cry foul till the end of days come. Hey... people... if you were to take responsiblity for your actions, think before you do something, it will lead to others doing the same thing. And then the whole world will be a better place. Seriously... it all starts with you.

Anyway, like I was mentioning about taking responsiblity, it is the same with almost everyone I know lah... Even Energizer was crying high and low that she is not spending any money and that we do not give her any money to spend. Yea.... does she even have any idea how much she spent while she was still mobile? While she was well, she got how much a month and how much did she save? How much money does she have left from the 120k? Even if she recieved only 90k! She still wants to play mahjong and so on... So where is the money coming from? What about her bloody medication? What about other things? She does not even know how hard it is to be earning money. And that is why.... every single day.... I feel so worried about how and where my family is going. Will the government help? We are the in-betweens, considered too rich and well to do to not need any help.

But hey... we are all gonna die in 2012 anyway, so who gives a heck... lets all spend as much as we can, enjoy as much as we can and not worry about any future. And if 2012 does not get us, I am sure that some other misadventure will get us and so we will still go and not need to worry about the future.... Right???? Bollocks to the people who think that way man... If you think about the now and the very near future, you are being short sighted or perhaps even blind. Though we do not know what tomorrow holds, good or bad, we must prepare for it.

Gotta go for now.... Byeeessss

Another Vid

New Pics

How we cannot live without our handphones

Hi readers!!! Just got back from Zurich... Man I am jet lagged, tired and have a cough and cold... Pity me... pity... pity pity...

While wallowing in self pity, actually I was pretty amazed that we are so dependant on modern technology and mainly our mobile phones. All our lives are in there, our contacts and so on... If we were to reach out and touch someone, we do it through our phones... And for me, I do not remember even my own wife's number... So if I lose my phone... I am so screwed... The one I was using, was actually on the fritz... It decided to die out on me.. So I was left wif no phone on the last day of my trip... Doooommmm on meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!.... Actually my stupid sister even sms me to ask if I was ok... and she knew that my phone was gone....

I quickly went to the airport and bought a Nokia N97, which I am having a lot of grief using it now and called my wife. By that time, she was already panicking because she had not heard from me for almost a whole day. And in the end, I was thankful that all my contacts are kept in the sim card. She was already freaking out and I guess I understand because if you have a baby and your husband kicks it, imagine how you will feel.... heee heee..

But seriously though, life is such that no matter what, if it is time to go, it is time to go. Jus hope that all else remaining equal, when you go, there is not a whole lot of shit that someone else has to clean up.

My baby's gonna learn how to fly or swim

Hey sounds wierd doesn't it? Well the fact is, a monster typhoon is bearing down on the Japanese main island. According the the Met office... So a few ppl got concerned and asked if wifey and baby are ok... And that is what I said... baby will either learn how to fly or swim... Wat else can I say? No one in his or her right mind will go out in the rain and wind.... other than me lah... It was in the middle of a typhoon a long time ago, when I was still living in Japan. There was an idiot who went out in the storm, had his umbrella broken by the wind... jus to buy Hagen Daaz ice cream.... Hey... I can't help it... I love the ice cream... And even in the mid of winter when even my plumbing gets frozen, I would shiver under my blanket and eat the ice cream... But only Hagen Daaz hor...

Anyway, back to the typhoon... If wife and baby stay indoors, little should happen... other than maybe baby being afraid of the wind and the counds. Other than that, barring anything hurling through the windows, they should be safe. But if lucks is not with us and an earthquake hits while the typhoon is blowing, then we will have to go to plan B, which is for wife to go to a close by temple to take shelter. I would not want her to go to a place with tall buildings and temples do seem to be stronger and have more open places..

Life is like that lah... You cannot go against nature and should just take things as they come. I have already planned for all the contingencies and if anything happens, then we should take what action. That is the only thing we can do.

It is just like recently, I have been looking at my own mortality. I am willing and ready to go. I think I leave behind pleasant memories and good frens and that is most important. Wife and baby should be ok and she has the ability to create income on her own. It is not like I leave behind and idiot who can't earn and or learn.

And when I meet St Peter, I am happy and am not worried if I go up or down and or hang in limbo..

It is wierd, but I think I am not afraid of death or dying. I have seen it many times and have even come close to it a few times.. I think that the Grim Reaper has become and old fren... When he comes to get me, I will just say to him, "What took you so long... old fren?".. No... I am not being fatalistic.. I will not give up on life and have not given up. But it is true you know... I have come close a few times and walked away from it... And no... I do not think I am indestructable or immortal.

Let me count the number of times I almost had a date with Mr. Death....

1) When I was a child... You remember the old wooden cupboards? They were really solid and heavy huh? When I was 5 or 6, I was swinging on the doors like George of the Jungle... My silly sister joined me and then I got bored and was walking away when the cupboard came crashing down... S step later and the cupboard would have caved my brain in..I was actually luckier bcoz the blame fell on my sis... hehehehe

2) My army daze were also filled with adventure... Like one time... we were going back to camp after training in the steamy jungles... We were butt tired and dirty and I fell asleep in the land rover... And so did everyone else... including the driver... The truck in front stopped at a traffic light, but we did not... The next thing I remember was sitting by the side of the road, feeling my head and going.. "hmmmm ouch..... ooooohh blood!!??!!"

Well drama aside, ambulance came... I refused to sit down... was trying to get my head back in one piece and kept asking the medic... My name is such and such and my ic number is such and such right?? He got really pissed off with me because he was flapping big time and yet the patient was bugging him...

Well I had my come uppance many times over in a while... We got to the army hospital... the Head nurse was screaming that I was too dirty and my boots were too muddy and I had to ask my buddies to carry me to the toilet to wash my boots.. Then when the doctor saw me, he immediately sent me to Toa Payoh Hospital...

My second bad luck of the day was that when I reached the hospital... lo and behold was a guy who did not really like me and I did not particularly like him in Primary school....Hmmmm luck huh???

With head injuries... the patient could not take anything because of fear of the patient throwing up... but... I was out training and did not have anything to eat for 4 days... damn.... luck huh... Old Grim Reaper must have been having a chuckle....

3) In Thailand a few years ago, went scuba diving... I just love to swim around and watch the corals... not the girls ok?!! Dived into the pristine waters of Krabi and had a ball of a time... But big mistake was that I was doing it Australia style... Which meant jus the snorkel and mask... No life preserver... The waters off the Aussie coast can be pretty treacherous and also the waves and currents can be strong... But I would usually dive in calm waters and within markers so it was cool and great... Buuuuutttttt.... When I came up from the dive in Krabi... Oh my goodness (actually it was more like Holy Shit!!!)The stoopiiiddd boat was like over 50m away or even further and I was being pushed further and further... It took all my strength and I was already about to give up when I saw the safety diver and waved for help....

So as you can see, other than these episodes, there are heaps more and with my brain tumours and so on, I would say that I keep seeing old Grim Reaper... So when he does finally come to tap me on my shoulder and say that it is time.. I would most probably ask him why he took so long...

Updates and So on

Well, I have been travelling like a crazy dog (but luckily not crazy enough to bite anyone yet) for the past few weeks while still keeping sane for all the problems and troubles I have at home... It goes to show that we do not need anyone (and I mean any one hor) to get thru.

Last week, I got back and followed energizer rabbit and sis to see the Oncologist. Her looked at her and then the records and then recommended oral chemo only. It was a sigh of relief as this would not tax the old lady too much and also at the same time would leave us a bit more able to work and also be not so expensive. You know something? I may sound really harsh and they (mom and sis) do not understand why I am like that, but lets face it, when people are in lala land for whatever reason, someone has to stay grounded to be able to bring the whole caper through. If everyone goes to lala land, I can promise you that nothing will get done and more problems will crop up,

Why do I say that it is a good thing that mom is only getting oral? She is 71. If she gets the injectable, it will cause her to lose her hair, feel like dying and so on... For her, would she want that sort of life? She keeps saying she does not want to die, well babe... at 70... you are looking at the grim reaper smiling at you and he is saying "see you soon". How much more time will you have? 5yrs? 10? So every day and every moment is already something that you have won. (oh yea... that also does not mean u have to sell away the farm and all its lifestock just to enjoy)

Chemo is bad and she will be sick and tired and also be throwing up and so on. In the end, will she really enjoy the life she is having? It is like Hemodialysis. It will keep you alive, but for the cost and the pain? Is it worth it?

Let us not forget that mom does have dementia and is therefore not really able to understand that she wants and or how to get it or what she feels. Take a child... ask him or her what she wants and she will say "Ice cream" or something. But do they know why? Do they know if it is good for then or not? So I really do not get it when people say that the energizer rabbit is ok... She was showing signs of dementia before the cancer and she will still be demented even if she is cured.

It is sad and no one wants to see someone they love leave. Especially if it is a parent. But we have to be realistic and not to be too happy or ecstatic. My sis was jumping up and down like Tom Cruise when he was on the Oprah Show and I was just wondering... hmmm... there is still a tump in the liver and the cancer has spread to the lumph nodes... so nothing much to be happy about leh... And to top it all off... we must now start to think of contingencies and also other scenarios... If the lump in the liver grows and is cancerous how? Rabbit can die of a heart attack and other complications... Then how? All these things are still big problems we have to face either now or in the future.

And guess what... this is a good chance to say that what can we get from the gahmen about this? Haizzzzz.... my gentle reader... that is why I always say... do not depend on others...

Anyways... thats the round up of the top news for the week. My darling baby girl jus had her BCG and she was flapping big time the whole night through. I think she must have been pretty pissed off about the prick.. I will get to see her soon and will be with her from then on... I see it as the beginnging of a new journey and a new life... What do you think?

Sighssssss

A very interesting thing happened yesterday. I am not gonna talk about the energizer rabbit and her problems because it is just too time consuming and silly.

As you can see from the vid, my baby girl is now laughing out loud. So a few close frens asked me which would I prefer... My baby to say papa first or mama first? I deadpan straight faced told them, it does not matter... Because even if she does not know how to say "papa" or "daddy" now, she will be the master of saying it in the future. Imagine... little bundle of joy... now a growing child or a young woman... if she needs something or wants money... she will come calling with her hand outstretched!!!! So no need to wonder or feel bad if the baby does not say my name... She will be able to say it and to say it with all sweetness and love... when she wants something.

Further to this, I am also not overly concerned that she will not recognize me or even want me now, because she will definitely recognize me and want me in the future!! Muahahaha... and I got a scolding from all my frens there. But like I said, I am a frank guy, I tells it like I sees it.

You see... I told you so

Just had a conversation with my sis.. She was asking me to come back from Japan with my family earlier so that she could take a holiday with her own family.... Uuuhhhhhh.... Not trying to be cold or funny, but, we have to follow our plan too you know... Baby has to be at least 6 mths for her to travel overseas... Next is that my wife is gonna have her hands full with baby and she has to look after my mom??? Baby will help to carry mom perhaps? Or since wife is wiping shit for my baby, she can also help to wipe shit for my mom??? Like I said, people say things without thinking, promise things without thinking... Looking after my mom will be a long problem and it will be painful and costly... So chicken little shit wants a holiday??? Where is the money coming from? Oh yea... I forgot, we are in the money printing business...

So that was why I have always advised that whatever we do, we gotta think about it. If not, seriously shit will happen and when it does, then how are we gonna react?

Oh well... what to do??

Here are some new and latest pics of my baby... she is literally my baby mah... hehehehehe.... But seriously, it does pain me not to be with my family as my child grows up, I am not there to experience many of the firsts. Her first crawl will also most probably be over by the time I see her in Dec. I already missed her first yabber and her first flip... But like I predicted, she is really like T-rex, so she can flip herself from back to lie on her stomach, but her arms are too weak and she cannot flip herself back.

As for other parts of my life... well... how can I put it??? I have a run of bad luck...First, on Sat, my sis and mom dropped a bombshell on me... They went to the TCM physician mom was consulting for her breast cancer many years ago... As mentioned before, each time she goes, she will have to pay $150 and she has to go every week... Dooommmmm on me..... She went for a length of 1.5years at least... so dats gonna be a big hole in our expenses because she will have to go for chemo and also for other stuff inclusive of her trips to Bangkok and or other places.... Hey... its ok... we are printing money and like my sis said... it is small money.... as compared to a life... I don't mind living a life of slavery and also being in debt man... after all, if mom needs a total of 100k a year for the treatment, its only 8.3k a month right? If it is like one guy's blog where he lemants that he needs to pay 300k a yr just to keep him alive... we will be able to handle that too... My house is 280k and if I sell it and not put it back into CPF, I can pay for one whole year man!!! Yeaaaaa!!!

Lets not talk about my own survival here hor...

Further to this, I think my run of bad luck really got so much worse... I washed my kitchen like I always try to do on weekends... I was pretty happy with it because not many guys will take the effort to clean their homes... So I was about to take out something I had bought earlier... a pack of satay bee hoon.... The plastic bag holding the satay sauce dropped and splattered all over the floor... Thank goodness I washed my floor and kitchen... I had to scoop up what I could so that I could have something to eat for supper.... (Thank god I cleaned my floor period)... but then the mess has to be cleaned again as it was oily and dirty and there was peanut all over... So I cleaned the kitchen a second time... and guess what ladies and gents??? Yesterday... I was so unhappy about not being able to enjoy the satay bee hoon that I bought another pack... This time.. I said that I would eat it immediately so that it would have no chance of dropping.. But while I was trying to cut the top to pour it out... it slipped and the satay sauce came pouring out... S**T!!!!!!!!! first... lucky my floor was still clean... scoop scoop scoop... grumble mumble... scoop scoop... then after dat came... F***... S**t.... gotta clean my floor a third bloody time.... I swear... I will not eat satay bee hoon for a while man....

But then ladies and gents... like I said.. when life gives u lemons... u make lemonade... for me... Drop satay sauce... scoop scoop curse curse....

We are dead, but we don't know it yet

This may seem very intriquing as a title, but it is true. I take the example of my family.. My mom has dementia and is therefore quite unable to make rational decisions some times.I was speaking to her about Dr. Simon Ong, who my cousin is using for his father's cancer and she kept repeating, "I don't want... I only want doctors with a doctorate"... Uuhhhh if you do not have a doctorate, no one can call you doctor hor.... If you mean a professorship... come one!! Are you trying to buy the fountain of youth? In fact, at 71, what else are you looking forward to? What else do you want? Even without going for chemo, she is already planning to go to Thailand in November. I did not know we were in the money printing business man.!!..

And my sister is no better... her response is.. how much can a trip like this cost? Come one man... we have not even gone for the chemo yet... do we know how much it will cost? If we say ok... we have X amount and will use Y amount for the chemo and then save the rest for her trips.. I have no qualms... we are signing blank cheques on the basis of keeping an old and demented person happy? I wud rather spend the money on a coconut husk man. What happens is the treatment is 100k? Where will we find the money? Sell our houses and give away our children? My sister says.."as children, we have no say and if mom can live till 100, we will support her". Ok... fine... when her dementia flares up and she starts to accuse my sister of trying to murder her and so on, it will bite her so badly in her asse. Future planning is important... Not living just for the now and hoping that the future will solve itself. Whatever we do now is and will be a direct result of our future.

And then the chairman of John Hopkins called and asked how my mom is and now they will go back to see him. Uhhhhh... that place has oil shieks for customers... We cannot afford it... Yet they claim... "Ohhh just to see see only lor"!!!??? If the guy claims that a golden horn of the purple rhino will cure my mother... I can bet my bottom dollar that they will grab a gun and kill all the rhinos in Africa and those in captivity.

Death cannot be avoided. Cure the cancer but you will still not avoid dying. If we go into this thinking that we have card blanche, we will be so screwed. My sister has a lot of insecurities and does not and will not handle the passing of my mom. And my mom being demented and probably fearing for the shit my dad will heap on her when she passes does not want to go. So they will be on the search of the golden horn and the purple rhino. I will only say one thing. I have 50k and 20k... if it is used up... they can do their own hunting because I will be out of it. Most old people will know that they need to help the living to live. But you see dear readers, my mom is not normal any more... There was a time when she was recieveing 1.5k a mth from the repayment of a loan and it was still not enough. She kept asking for money from me and sis. This resulted in me not being able to pay my credit card bills and the credit cards companies initiated bankruptcy proceedings. She does not understand that fact. All she thinks is that she helped me... Yea how the bloody hell did I end up in such a wonderful mess unless she was the one who initiated it?

So she will burn up all our family resources without even considering the right or the wrong and or the good or the bad. I am not trying to condemn her to death. I want her to live and also to be well. But then I will not allow her and or my sister to chase the purple rhino just to appease their own petty insecurities and consciences. This is where I have to make myself clear. Full blown chemo will most probably stop the aggressive spread of the disease. But it will be bad in the sense that mom's hair will fall and she will wish she were dead. Chemo is a toxin and you can die from it.. So how would we feel if we spent all our money and then had nothing for mom's funeral? Why would she want to live till she is 80 and be a stark raving coconut husk?

So as you can see my gentle reader.. this is where I am really in a quandry... I am looking like a bad guy because both mother and sister are in lala land. How will sister feel if mom bites her again? So why go through the hassle?

Any doctor can come up and say.. lets give 250k of chemo and treatment and see hor.... I can have the choice of going into heavy debt to do so... but will it be worth it? To give a person a few more years is important. To show your love for your parent is important. But where will it end? Why not also consider cryogenics, where you freeze someone till a cure is found? We cannot escape death... the moment we are born, we are all bound to die... So that is why... we are all dead... it is only whether we know it or not.

Life still goes on

Hi Ho... After all the trials and tribulations at least my daughter is 100 days plus old. She had a simple ceremony, (well we sorta fell in one swoop into the "poor" people's category when my energizer got her cancer and that is still without treatment yet hor) and she was fed a small fish and other savouries. This is symbloic to show that she will have all she wants and needs to eat during her life time.

Don't worry, I do not come from the side of the family that spends a lot of money so my wife made sure that baby got small and cheap food... hmmmm... wonder if this is gonna bite me in the asse some time in the future??? Maybe because we stinged on the food, she will get hungry and come back and complain to me and wife that we did not bother to give her good food for her 100day ceremony???

Well no choice lah... She is still too young to take solids anyway. And the thing is, I also need to save every damn cent I can.

So as you can see from her vid, she definitely does not enjoy her grandad's company and was therefore quite obviously trying not to look at him or the food he is giving to her... Again.. I am wondering if this will bite me in the asse again in the future.

I truly believe though that no matter what happens, what will be will be. My mom keeps on saying that she is so poor thing and that she has fallen on hard times... Boy, she does not know what is hard times yet man... Imagine if we were to all go into bankruptcy because of her treatment. In fact, I am now considering trying to down grade myself and my op so that I can save some money. I have a stone in my prostate and it is a biatch!!! Now I am considering a shared room and also a quick short and sharp op. No choice lah... if it is gonna recur and it will, then I will have to pay for it by myself the next time round.

Anyway, mom asked me what will happen if I were to get cancer and so on and my truthful answer is... I will pop myself. Why go through the agony and put my own relatives through the agony? We are already poor and will not be able to afford another round of serious or chronic illnesses. So I will take it like a man and opt to go. If it does not kill me fast enough, then I will kill myself. My dear readers, if you have been following my blog, you will know that I am dead serious. I do not want to be a bother to anyone. I find that to have anyone saying that I am "so poor thing" and insult to me and my family. We do not need and neither do we want anyone's pity. (To be frank, I am only saying this for me, my wife and kid hor)

So like I said, that is why I title this thread "Life goes on". We as living people must think of how we are to bring our families and our dependants on. So if in leaving, we open the chances to the others, I will do so. It may just be me, but I will not want to spend horrendous amounts of money and put my wife and daughter in the poor house and or to spend what they cannot afford. I am also really scared that if energizer lives on, she will want to go for this and that trip and who gets to foot the bill? Me!!! I cannot depend on my sis to pay for it and so who gets to clear the shit? Me!! Will she be a good girl and not spend money.... well looking at the previous year's blogs... I really doubt so... Will she get better and climb out of lala land.... In my dreams perhaps...

But life goes on... Even if the gahmen does not help... Life will still have to go on... I just hope that they will put into law that we children must look after our parents and I will be the first in line in the meet the people's sessions to ask the gahmen how they will help us to look after our parents?? Onco treatments.... based on the class we checked her into... If she is private paying patient... no hope of downgrading... (yea... the dr was swearing himself blind that it was not cancer and that was why we put her in a private ward!!!) So now who will allow us to dowgrade? If she gets better and wants to go with her rich frens to here and there... who's gonna pay for it??? So as you can see dear readers, you have a very very frustrated little bunny here... and it is not my wife and or the energizer rabbit hor..

Looking after your family

YOu know something boys and girls??? A leader is not one who inherits a position or claims a title. Being the oldest does not also allow one to say he or she is a leader. So when the energizer said that she was the leader of the family, I sorta allowed her to be one, but I was trying to hold things together from the back. The reason? If you feel you have nothing, are nothing and have nothing to look forward to, then you will waste away very fast.

That being said, I have now firmly insisted that I am the leader and that all matters will now be under my purview and I will make decisions. The reason?? Neither my sister nor mom are able to and should not even be asked to make any rational decisions. They just can't do it!!!

Imagine, mom asked me to transfer 20k to my sis because she helped pay for her hospitalisation. I know she is worried about my sis and also that she does not want to seem to owe her, but hey.... has she thought about where the bloody hell the money will come from for her chemo? If she kicks off soon and does not need chemo and so on, I will gladly start to share what little remains, but if not, I will have to be careful as usual and make sure that everything is well taken care of. Being a leader is not just giving instructions and feeling big or gud. It is taking responsiblity to ensure that things are done for the better of not one individual but the whole family. And that is where the real pain and headache is for me.

Old energizer is 71. She has no savings. Her medical will still be pretty heavy and will be so till she dies. When she dies, she will need to have a proper funeral too. So where is all the money coming from? She was saying that there are chemo drugs that will not make her feel sick and make her hair fall off. Many say that chemo will make her feel like dying. So now as the son and the default leader... what choice will you make? Whack the family reserves to give her a few more years? How many years does she have even without the cancer? If it is all used up, where will the money come from? And that is the bug bear that I have with the gahmen of our great society. They say that there are safety nets.... Where??? They say that people are living till older age... These are old women who have been housewives and have brought up the children of Singapore and they are not allowed any care from the state. And to top it all off, because of a few bad apples, there will be a law telling us to look after our parents... I have been screaming for help of an alzheimer's demented mom who now has cancer. If she loses more of her mind, will she even know that we are doing our best to treat her?

Her cancer has spread, so now is how to make the last years... or no matter how many years as comfortable for her. If she wants expensive chemo and so on... I do not know how comfortable I can make her... I will be dead broke and she will still be stark raving cuckoos.

And to top it all off.. Guess what, even for parental care, only 1 child in each family being allowed to get tax relief for looking after a parent... So my question is this... where am I left now? No tax relief, having to pay through my nose and yet having no support. How many of other people here have the same problems?

So brothers and sisters... I would say only one thing... This really sucks.. I am in a world of shit and pain and yet there is no way out.

What do we want in life???

This is a real burning question. Some people do not know what they want in life and are therefore pursuing dreams they may feel they need at that moment and therefore cannot find happiness. What will make you happy? How will you become happy?

Of course I am not faith healer or master of the dark arts and therefore do not have an answer here for you.

However, these last few weeks have caused me to think about life very seriously. At this moment, I can say that I am happy and I can go at any time. Many will ask, what about my daughter and my family... And you know what?? I would like to say... "Screw them!!".... hehehehe... No lah... What about them? They can and will look after themselves and are happy as they are. Of course they need and want me... but if it is my time to go... I will go...

Why I ask this? Seems like my sis is really gonna be unable to let my mom go? Why is this so? Perhaps it is feeling of guilt? Perhaps it is feeling of insecurity? Who knows?? I have been asking her to see a shrink for the longest time.

Oh yea... if you guys think that I am giving up on my mom and letting her go like dat, you are dead wrong... Sorry for the pun hor... hehehehe

I would like her to be around till the end of time.. though it would be pretty inconvenient and also pretty irritating.. But if she has to go, she has to go... and if faced between a long and extended bout and fight... then perhaps it is better to go in peace. According to her doctor, the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes and perhaps the liver... So the next round will be chemo therapy... It will be costly and also painful. In some ways, I know that she will have wished she dieded on the operating table... Many people do not know the pains of chemo therapy... It is a poison and it can in itself kill... And after so many rounds, if death (which is something we all will face any way) is the end result, then would it not have been better to use the money to make mom comfortable and happy?

And that is where the problem lies with all of us. What will make us happy and how will we get there? I am a happy camper because I am a simple guy. Though I drive a shit hot and beautiful car, I do not want to parade it around. Although my wife is shit hot and damned pretty... I also do not parade her around... I live in a HDB and am a simple man.... So being simple... I am happier... I will not say I am completely happy though.

And as for my baby girl... she is growing so well and is so beautiful and that is my joy...


And as for my ride... I managed to repair some dents and unsightly scratches and at the same time colour the rims black... now I am almost there....

Eye of the storm

Eye of the storm, refuge of sanity, place of peace... whatever you call it, everyone must have such a place. Be it physically or mentally, you must have a happy place where you can go to and just be able to rest from whatever is tormenting you. For me, it is my family (wife and daughter only hor) and the love they have for me. They are willing to go through hell for me and are also there for me. I am attaching the latest vid, in which Baby Tina is seen answering and yabbering with her grandma and also smiling in reaction to the grandma's yabbering too... Kinda interesting when you think that she is only 2 and 3/4 months old only.. Well my peace and enjoyment is for all to share.

Life... Death.. What's it all about?

My mom has advanced stage of cancer and it may have spread to the liver. Survivability? Well to be very frank, do you really want to survive in this country? So for me, I am taking things stoically. The bad news came one after the other. First it was that it was a tumour and that it was quite large. So most probably stage 2 or 3. Then later it became "it may have spread to the liver and if this is the case survivability is 30%". For me, I considered the fact very calmly and also very sanely. We will do everything we can for my mom, but the most important thing is to make her comfortable. She knows nuts... so no use asking her.. She does not want to die, but also does not want to have any pain... So now the question is which is she willing to take... Hey... you can't have your cake and eat it mah....

Chemo therapy is painful both physically and also mentally. It makes you feel like shit and your hair drops and so on. Mom has always been very vain and also very conscious of how she looks. So will she take it? Can she take it? It is also long and costly... So the question is put to the government... Will you make a law that will force us to look after our parents? Hey... you claim everything is cheap or subsidised... Look at my uncle.. he also has cancer and has had half his intestines removed... He will also go for chemo soon... He stayed in the hospital for almost a mth.... Who is paying for this? Subsidised? To some people, even $30 a day is a problem.... Imagine... without meds.. without operations, without anything... you have to pay $900... That is the monthly income for some people... So what do poor people do??? Hope to die.... What about children with parents with chronic diseases???

If my mom's bill comes to 100k... and she dies... how can I afford her funeral?? What can we do as children... Only hope for the best and treat the problem as it arises.... I heard a story of a man who used to be a very successful businessman with a lot of money and big property. Now his children are bankrupt because he got cancer and through the years of treatment, all he earned and all the savings of his children were used up. When he boasts that he still has money... his children do not dare to tell him that he has used it all up... What will the gahmen do for these people?

If we live in a meritocratic society and we are based on merit... do these old folks who have given so much to the country not merit anything?

Ladies and gentlmen... we are so screwed... seriously...

Why Me???

Hi Boys and girls, Do you ever have the "Why me?" moment? It happens to me quite often... Especially when I have a few really irritatingly mentally weak relatives close by. What happened was that Energizer has been feeling sick... a pain in the stomach due to an inflamation. She refused to see a doctor till her "god daughter", some one who she only got to know recently wanted to bring her. In the end, she went to KKH and the doctor there, a gastro surgeon, said that she had to be warded and she had to be transferred to TTSH. The initial interpretation from the doctor was "Inflamtation, most probably NOT cancer". By the time it came to me... it became, "Most probably cancer"!!! Uhhhh there is a world of difference between the two statements. But then again, I do not know who lost the string... The only thing I am really pissed off was that my sister was flying off her rocker and mom was enjoying every moment of being such a celebrity!!! Any normal sane person (ooopppsss.... I forgot, she is not sane anymore) will inject the fact that the doctor did say that it was most probably not cancer... but energizer just remained quiet and was trying to act sick and dying. So since we thought it was cancer, we decided that she should have the best care... or at least my sister did... and we checked mom into John Hopkins.... Man that was one of the biggest mistakes in our lives. The patients there were not Sgporeans... all were sheiks and other name personalities... Then the doctor came from KKH and asked what the hell we were doing in John Hopkins... Mom did not have cancer and we had to check her out and transfer her to a normal gastro ward... so who is to blame for this mess??? I really do not know... Do I want to hazzard a guess??? Why bother. Now... the gahmen wants to initiate a law to make us look after our parents. I do not know how many heartless children there are out there, and there may be a few because of the way we bring up our children nowadays, but I am from the old school and I will look after my own parents. It really drives me up the wall when Energizer chooses other people to her own children. Take for example the time when we had a big flaming row over my sister's ex..... I was just mentioning that she should not trust him too much... She turned around and supported him instead... WTF!!?? Now she is also listening to her "godchild" who I do not know or even trust. So my dear gahmen, let me ask you this, how will you help us who look after our own parents? Alzheimer's dementia is going to be really common... where are the facilities? Old folks home?? Yea... some heartless shits may be chucking their parents in there because they have the money and no hearts, but what about those who are suffering now? Tax relief only for one child? I am paying with my sis for my mom.... So who will give me the relief? Make it into law and it will be a joke. These are men women and people who were there when we became a country. They were the ones who helped to bring the country up. And you throw them back to their children? I am disappointed. But in the midst of this disappointment, I ask myself "Why me?" and in fact I do not blame anyone or anything... If you have follwed my posts, you will know that I am a positively positive bloke. So I answer back... "luckily it is me man!!!" because if anyone else was given my unique position, he or she would have flipped and gone off into lala land. At least I am here to keep my family together. Oh yea attached is the latest vid of my darling.

Hai... (sighs)..

Well sports fans... one thing that is making me happy. Its actually a complaint from my wife.. Many of you will say.. "huh?? Wife complain you still happy?". But the situation is this... She said that my baby is exactly the same as me... We have no mid point. Its always all or nothing. So when baby wants to be carried, she will cry till someone carries her. If she is in a good mood, she can play happily by herself. If she is feeling like being a good girl, she can go to sleep by herself. But if she is in a bad mood or she is cranky, it will be 100% life feels like shit.. It brings a tear to my eye and to think that my demon seed is just like me.... But then again, if demon seed does the same to me... I will bath her in holy water!!! HEAD FIRST!!!

Talking about that, we had a great family reunion last night. The Energizer Rabbit's 71st birthday.... Many are saying that she is old and that she will not have long to live, but looking at her brothers and sisters, (I mean the real blood ones), they are all into their 80's and so on... So who the bloody hell or why the bloody hell does anyone think she will kick the bucket anytime soon?.... Hai..... (Sighsssss).

But then I just hope she is happy lah... At least she had her 5 minutes in the limelight and that she will now be satisfied for a while. I also hope that her friend does not poison her too much. Her new mahjong khaki and long lost fren seems to have lived in Japan for 6 yrs... longer than me lah... but hehehehe... her Japanese is worse than mine by perhaps a multiple of a few worlds. No matter wat, this woman is now trying to psycho the energizer rabbit to go to Tokyo with her... Yea and who the flaming heck will pay for the bloody trip???? She is rich, she can afford... Energizer may be rich... but its all our money!!!!

I can only shake head and pray to all the gods to deliver me if anything like that were to happen and she decides to take the trip. Because at the end of the year, the whole family is supposed to go back to Japan to bring my wife and my baby here.

Anyway, the other sighs is that I am feeling really damned itchy again. As you know, I swore that I will not modify my car again. But I just want it to have a new set of brake rotors as it will only make if safer for me to come to a sudden stop. In Sillypore, it is pretty important to be able to stop. The other day, while trying to turn left, the car in front me of stopped suddenly because a cyclist was nearing the zebra crossing. I will always stop at any crossing and even give some leeway to the other road users in terms of time and distance, but the guy in front of me was really too much... The cyclist was not even in the main traffic crossing and the ding dong in front stopped till the cyclist crossed the main crossing and then entered the slip road. Guys, we wanna be nice, but this is being too nice. Luckily for me, I braked in time and even more luckily, the guy behind had his wits with him and he also braked in time... I could hear a few marbles rolling on the street because mine nearly dropped too!!

Well I was so affected by it and by the fact of the near miss that I was too engrossed and when I got back to my home's carpark... I whacked the pillar.... SHIT!!! So now I will have to get the dent repaired while I am away.... Haizzzzz.... sighsssssssss.....

10 yrs off my life

A very "funny" thing happened on last Fri. The problem is that the energizer rabbit has no one to "need" her and so the only people who will need her will be children as adults will not "believe" in what she says anymore. Further to this, in order to be "friendly" with the children, she will play the good guy and therefore allow them to climb over everyone's head. This is typical childish behaviour and therefore I was not surprised when the whole thing blew up. It seems like my sisters wants to instill some discipline in the children and she is getting grief from mom who will not allow the children to be good. Why would they want to be good when the oldest in the family allows them to be bad? And that is the situation I will face when I bring my family over too. She will want to come and look after Tina and then she will want to spoil her. Of course, when that happens and we stop her, we will become her enemy. It is a vicious cycle and there is nothing that anyone can do. In the end, on Friday, she went to my aunty's house, most probably to complain and then went to play mahjong and her hand phone battery was flat. So no one could contact her and my sister freaked out. For me, I was slightly worried, but then looking at the super chicken that she is, it would most probably be that she went to play instead of her being sad and crying somewhere. In the end, she went back at 10plus pm. Such is the inconsideration of the old and the problem is, it will get worse. How can the government help? I do not think they will help. There are no increase in services for the old and the saying is that you clean your own shit.. Haizzz. So much for life in our little old town... Sometimes I feel it really stinks.

That was actually why I was praying to all the powers that be, both pyshical and also imagined and I put in a disclaimer.... "I am willing to lose 10yrs of my life if I can just have some peace in my home". Some people will ask, what about my daughter and wife, but I am quite certain that if I were to have another 10yrs of this continued hell, it will be better to give it and to have peace. How to have peace? Well it depends on who gets treated and how things change lah. For me, I just want to have a quiet home with no quarrels and no problems. Though this is a very naive view, but hey, who wants to have raging arguments when they come home? And this will only get worse as the energizer rabbit gets older, more infirm and perhaps even is in less control of her mind. I have no problems with that, but it is my sis.

But what to do? I just look at my daughter's pics and vids and just hope that we will be reunited soon.

Another "awwwwww" vid... Can we call this a Kodak Moment?

Do not forget to turn on your speakers for this.

News vid of my princess

This is just one vid... There's more coming

How kids grow

Wifey just sent me some pics of Tina. How kids grow and how fast they grow... That is why one of the greatest pains in my life is not being to be with them. It is the same as your wife, she will grow old as the days go by too. How can we regain the lost days and time? You can't. Can you go back and change things? You also can't... So what can you do? Basically nothing.

I'm back!!!

After about 5 weeks plus away from work, I am back. But I have been busy too. At this time, after being away for so long, there are a lot of things that needs to be done at home. (Oh yea... the amazing energizer rabbit broke another remote control again!!!) It seems that she does not care about things that need to be cared for anymore. Imagine, if her frens were so careless as to break something, wouldn't she get angry and ask them to be more careful? She also left my dining hall chairs in "her mahjong" room, like as though the other parts of the house is not importan. If I had guests coming over, they's be surprised to see a dining table without any chairs... I may be cheap... but I do buy my dining set as a set... And to top it all off, she left another one of my mugs in the bloody sauce cabinet again. How the hell do you leave cups with sauces?

With all this, it really makes me very afraid to allow her to look after my baby.... She can be there, handle her and so on with close supervision from my wife or me... To be left alone with the child is considered dangerous. But what does she know or care? All she cares about is herself. I do not know if it is a fault of all old people or a fault with only her. Just like the other day, I had the shock of my life when I found out how much the T-shirts she bought from Greece or wherever she went to... It was 19 Euros... or close to SGD$20+... They were of low quality and also did not fit!!! And they were for baby.. Mine did not fit too for that matter.

And even before she went, she was complaining that I did not give her enough. It was close to 500 bucks and this is a lot of money to throw away. I know that people will curse me for being unfillial and being a bad son, but hey... why don't you try my Energizer rabbit and see if you can stand it? When dealing with a person who is suffering from Alzheimer's Dementia, the end point sometimes does seem like a heaven send. The big problem is when this will happen?

I am not cursing anyone and I do try not to do so... It is bad karma... But sometimes, life can be a bit difficult for us. But as life is hard, we do have to look at our options and also our own protection. So please hor... do not give judgements till you have had your own experience and are able to say what you will do.

Going home

Has it been 6 weeks already? Man time really does fly... but I sure as hell was not having fun. I will be flying back to Sg tomolo and will leave wife and baby behind. I am just worried that she will not be able to handle baby all by herself. Though she is staying in her parent's house, her mom has to work in the daytime (if she doesn't work, then where will the money to live come from) and her dad is half paralysed, so cannot help very much.

Baby has settled down somewhat, but then a baby settles down most after 3 months, so wife has another 2 months of hard work ahead of her. That is why I am worried. She will basically be looking after baby alone. With her mom helping in the night.

Well we all have our crosses to bear. That is what I truly feel and always try to practice. We cannot carry everyone's cross no matter how much we feel like doing it.

Then when I get back, I will also be really busy with work. But the only thing that will push me forward is actually the hope that we will be together in Dec again and then I will bring them both back to Sg with me.

Life and Death

As we enjoy a new life in our midst, we mourn death in our society. The great M J has passed and the babalicious Farrah F too... What is life and death? That is a question that comes into my mind all the time. The answer??? I guess Life or Death does not really matter as much as how you have lived. Some people live to achieve and obtain material things. Some live for other things. Some people are easily happy, others are not.

To take into example, the fren of my wife who divorced her husband and is too poor to even buy her kid shoes had her phone cut off. Her handphone and also house phone was unreachable when my wife tried to call her. She is working 2 jobs and is trying to make ends meet and sometimes the ends just do not meet. It is the same as the time when I was nearly hauled to bankruptcy court because the bloody energizer rabbit just kept asking for money though she was already getting 1.4k a month plus 2k. I had to give her the money and not pay my bills.

The problem is much better now, but only for a short time. Her idea of how much money is worth is really troubling. It will never be enough as she will spend it all. So I gotta protect myself and my family.

But back to life. Will giving her money help? No because the saying, give someone a fish, he will eat one meal... give him a fishing rod, he will eat for life... How can we give her a fishing rod when we are all also trying to survive? A very kind fren offered to give a "small" amount to help her, but that would break her pride... not like some rabbits with no bloody pride and will take all that you have... even if you give her a sizeable amount, she will not think that it is enough. And she will try to use it all up while she is still alive!

The fren's daughter will enter school next year and my wife and I will be giving her an extra 5000 yen a month as assistance for her child... It is not much, but it will at least help her a bit.. We will also be sending her rice and whatever vegs our family grows in our farm. Will it be enough? Of course not, but at least it will help.

Now back to life... (damn.. I am wandering all over today huh) I guess it is because I am really tired. Having a baby is fun.... until the time when the baby starts to cry.... Changing diaper... is fun... we (wife and me) try to make things fun and no matter how hard life is, if we laugh, we are better off..... So little shit monster will fart all day long, let go huge amounts of fecal matter and then we have to change it. It is an experience because she does not really like to be changes and will cry and struggle... And when she cries or struggles, she will use force and more s**t comes out.... Man.... wife and me now play "scissors paper stone" to see who will be the one to change the diaper and if the one changing is unlucky enough to be "blessed".

Well I guess that everyone, good or bad, young or old will die one day and that is why for me, life is so precious... We must really cherish each day we have on this earth and all the people who are part of our lives.... We never know when they will not be around. My dad-in-law's relatives came yesterday... The eldest is the siter of my grandma-in-law.... (grandma already passed away liao hor)... So she is the grand aunt of Tina.... She is 76 and is a really well preserved little prune... Speaks with all her senses and also is able to move around without any problems... (not like some rabbits).... Her husband passed away when she was 30 plus and so she brought up 2 children since then... I find that this is what life is... Finding a reason to live and living the reason... But of course... we must find the right and good reasons lah....

Anyway, I really do hope that the departed will be at peace. RIP.

More pics and vids

Here are some pics and my baby being drunk on milk... After she drinks, she is like drunk... in a stuppor and won't move and is sluggish... hmmmm... maybe the milk is fermented... Gotta give it a good slurp to try.... muahahahaha.

Some new pics and vids

This is a new vid of my girl... And a picture of the emergency door from the second floor which has no stairs on the other side... Like I said, this place is really in the middle of la la land... If we used the emergency door... I think someone will surely break something..

2 children in the house?

Well, guess what happy readers? I have 2 children in the house... Huh??? One is Tina (we have called her that because Christina is just a bit long) and the other is the Energizer Rabbit.... Tina is handfull... She was just above 2.4kg last week and we were worried about her jaundice, but she has been a perfect monster this past week... Especially at night because she will be hungry almost every hour and crying almost all the way through, driving me and wifey raggard.... If you see two zombies... please do not call Laura Croft... its just us..

But she has grown to 2.8kg...(no wonder I have been having back pains... I thought I was getting old) and her jaundice is better now... But then she is still a monster in terms of if you think of the sister of Freddy Kruger of Nightmare on Elmstreet, the Mistress of Jason from Friday the 13th, the Daughter of the girl from Exorcist, the bride of Frankenstien, the Biatch of Satan, Tina will come close... We are expecting her to grow fangs soon because she does not want to sleep in night time and will stay awake only to sleep when the sun rises... (it rises at 4am here) But don wori... I have asked for gripe water, holy water and sleeping pills to be sent.... Something will work out I guess... hee heee....

As for my other child... it is the Energizer Rabbit... Unfortunately her mind is slipping faster than I imagined or hoped for. Why do I say this? I was just telling and complaining about Tine to her the other day and guess what she said? "Who asked you to have children?" WTF!!! At least if she said... "poor thing.. I hope that everything is ok.. or don wori... it will be ok"... I am happy. But on her saying what she said... it just confirms that her mind is not working..

And guess what sports fans.... just 2 weeks or maybe 3 weeks ago, she left my front door unlocked... She locked the gate... thank god, but the wooden door to my house was unlocked and opened... Luckily my brother-in-law went to have a look and found out. So now.. Just last night, she came back from mahjong to my sis's place and she forgot to lock the gate. This morning, the postman came and the dog went out and bit him...

I will have to now spend money getting a maid for her to ensure that she is ok and so on because it seems like she will become more of a hazzard to herself than to others... What happens if she goes out and forgets how to come home? Or who she is or where she stays? I have already made myseld ready for this and am prepared to send her to a home for rest and perhaps to be secure, but then it will take the whole family to make this decision and step.

Well sport fans... that is my life I guess... What will the gahmen do for me? Nothing whatsoever. Will she get some help because she helped the country to raise 2 good children... ?? I do not think so... But instead of asking, I do not care anymore... for me... it is just a place I call home... anything else is just a side story... She does not have any CPF... will she get any pension? Tough luck man... But of course, you will see people like Gong Li and Jet Li having a lot of breaks and so on from the gahmen... they bring money mah.... We as citizens do not count... We are a meritocratic society... We do not merit anything if we do not contribute.

Some more pics

Baby knows no end to the funny faces she can give.



This is a look shit monster will make when she has made a pool of shit and we are trying to decide who will change the diaper.. Wife and me do not mind changing the diaper... but it is almost like diffusing a live grenade... Nope... the shit does not stink yet.. but Tina has the tendency of squirting while we are changing her diaper... She also like to let go again soon after the diaper is changed and we all go "$%^&*(*&^%$%^&*()(*&^%$%^&*()(*&^%$%^&*()_)(*&^%".... I wonder if children can pick up a "foreign" language so young... hehehehe





Sorry people, but there will not be any vids in this post because we now finally understand why parents of new born are so stoned... Baby sleeps and drinks only when she wants and it is playing havoc on our sleep patterns as well. So we are actually pretty sleep deprived now. I am only afraid when I go back and wife is all alone because there is no one who can really support her. In my in-laws' place, it is worst than being in the centre of la la land... It is just wierd living here some times... Point of matter.... When dad-in-law decided to build another toilet... he built a standing urinal which is like his prized cow and possession now... When other guys use it, they cannot spill a drop on his precious floor and when we flush, we must press the flush 3 times... He got a lot of shit from all the other family members because he could have just built a normal toilet for eveyone to share... do not forget, all the rest of his family are women.

To top of the argument, he built an emergency exit at the end of the hall on the second story... I swear... there is a door there... But it leads to no where... outside is empty space, with no landing, no stairs... So if it is an emergency exit, are we expected to jump from the second story and perhaps hurt ourselves?? So surely this is the centre of la la land.

More pics and vids

When Baby Christina is a good girl and is not cranky, she will just sit quietly and stare and stare... Is that a good thing?? I don't know.... U tell me man.

T-Rex

My girl has a nickname

As you can see, my little one has come home... Boy, its really tough to look after a T-rex who is a shit churning machine.... Everytime she has a squirt... we change diapers.... my mind goes... "kaching!!! Money down the drain!!!" But no choice lah I guess, don change and she gets a rash and she gets really cranky... But then to be truthful, it is how we learn to adjust and how she learns to adjust too. In the beginning, we were frantically trying to figure out why she is crying... Now it is SOP.... Check diaper... if wet or stinky... change.... If diaper doesn't work, then carry her... T-rex loves to be carried and walked... If u are lazy and sit down.. she will wail again.... If walking and carrying do not work... then stuff her mouth with food. If all fails... start step 1 again... hehehehehehe But we are learning.. She has about 2hrs in her tank and if she holds for that long, we are happy... But T-rex can go for up to 4 hrs without needing a tank up and this is helpful. Further to this, we have learnt that we can sleep with her by our side and she will sleep better for about 3 hrs.... As mentioned before, I will not let a child run my life... I did not say ruin hor.... I said run... so me and wife think of ways of making the situation better and yet training the little one slowly. Oh yea for her nickname... Her grandma on this side is calling her 子サル or ko-saru.... Baby monkey.... Have a look:


As you can see, she is really thin and her eyes are really big. She doesn't really mind the bath, but then after that she will give u hell for it... Haizzzzz.... But then, she is growing day by day and is changing day by day and it all goes past you so fast.

How I became a daddyyyyy

Well sports fans,lets go through how I became a dad... no don wori, I will not tell you how I made my baby and also the long 9mths... Jus the last few days will fill volumes....

Wife went in on Tues to prepare for the surgery and so on... so it was a long day of tests and so on... And then on Wed morning at 9am Japan time... 8am Sg time, I went to the hospital and then they wheeled wife into the op room. The ip was supposed to start at 10am, so when 10.10 came and went... sweat started to fall down my face.... "The doctors said that they would only take 10mins to grab the baby out"... so what the hell is happening????

Then 10.30 came and sweat really started to pour... holy shit... what will I do if something happened to her or the kid???... Hmmmmm I can make N very happy.... muahahahahahahahahaha.....

Then came 10.40.... the nurses wheeled out something that was screaming and crying... kinda reminded me of Alien and the thing that was popping out of the stomach.... "is that my kid??? Man she is UGLYYYY!!!! No mistake... I think the memory will be etched into my skull forever and I think the memory will stay in my mind for a very long time.. though not sure if it is a good one or bad one.... hehehehehehe.... I was fumbling to grab some recording device so that I can take a pic of the face.... in the beginning I was just hopin that I could have a reference so that when I went to visit, I could remember the face.... Ugly though it may be... all babies look alike... and if the nurses mixed up the babies, at least I would be able to recognize mine....

Then baby went to icu.... A while later... out came wife... well she survived.... kinda half hearted about her surviving... hahahahahahaha... So she went to ICU too... now I had a wonderful choice of going to baby or going to wife... well better go to wife because she can produce more children and not bother about the child because she's already cost me so much... hehehehehehe

So I went up with wife to her room and she was babbling worse than a babboon.She was babbling about how scared she was the child miscarried... Must have been the meds lah... that woman has never been too strong with pain... Then later when she came to, she wanted me to personally count the fingers on the hand and feet.... She was afraid that if baby had 6 fingers... I would go and kill a mutual acquaintance and if it had less, she would be in trouble....

So I left her to do her babbling... if there was any counting to be done, I would have wanted to make sure she was a girl and did not have any dick instead of being a boy and having a dick short... not short dick hor....

I went to see baby... and beside her was another baby... In fact by the end of the day... in the baby icu, there were 3 babies... 1 was born the day before and 1 was just after my baby... all were girls.... and I was wondering who was the cutest... I wouldn;t mind stealing the cute one.... Unfortunately.... mine was the cutest... I am not joking or speaking with daddy's pride.. butt ugly though my kid is... she is still better looking than the others....

So I kept wifey company and she kept the pain killer company... Imagine... she still needs meds to keep the pain down even after so many days... I was walking downstairs for a smoke the day after I came out from ICU after my brain op.... maybe that's the reason why I am a bit dumb these few days.....

Second and third day was more or less uneventful.. with wife coming out of ICU and the later baby... But yesterday... baby started to turn yellow.... Damn... I was hoping she won't go into full blown jaundice as this would increase cost again... But luckily she seems to be getting better..

Today, I had the shock of my life... Christina has hair on her back!!!! Damn this kid is wierd... better really check her for the mark of 666.... But I think that the hair will fall or grow finer through time.. if not... I will have to give her money for a nose job, a eye lid job and a back brazilian wax... damn this kid is expensive... she better work her asse off and pay me every damn cent before I allow her to get married.....

She also has quite an appetite.... She had a milk meal and then 10 minutes later screamed for more... Well a growing baby needs her food.... But I find that this is the happiest time in life... eat, shit sleep...

Man... baby is a princess... she only does things she wants.

3rd day and she is cranky

Hi sports fans.... here are some day 3 pics... U can see in one more pic that she was staring at me from inside the ICU... damned she is really good at staring..

But she was having a bad day and so was a bit cranky... the good news is that she will be out of the high dependancy ward and staying with her mom till they get out next Fri... one more week away... damn... I gotta start to sell my butt to pay for all these costs....

Actually we recieved a congrats card with the baby's pic and weight and so on.... 49cm..... hmmmm kinda tall man... She does have long legs... but can't really tell about the arms because her tunic is too long and big... But what happens if she is really a T-rex.... long legs but short arms.... ?? Die lah how???

If you are wondering why both will stay so long in the hospital, it is not because mom wants to have a break and so is staying in, but because the hospital wants them both to be properly ready to go home... It is strange... but all the mothers have to fall in at certain times each day, go to a room and give their milk there under the supervision of the nurse.... And it happens that my little moo moo does not really know how to suck properly and though my wife is pretty well endowed (gets a lot of stares but I am not sure it is because she is beautiful)... but she is producing little milk.... damn!!! I've got troublesome women in my life!!!

Anyway, I do miss a certain N... she knows who she is... I am worried about her and also whether she is doing ok... But I am sure she is lah...

She is scary 2

As you can see from this vid, even though she was sleepy, she will still try to look at you... And that is all she does.... Think someone better call the dan kee or someone.... This girl is scary!!

She is scary!!!

Its fun wen u see a kind having hiccups... but it is cute wen u see my kid hicupping and not even blinking an eye....

I am so a daddy... sob sob sob

Well sports fans.... after waiting for 9 months, the end result of a few moments of pleasure...(Hmmmm was it dat pleasureable??? Don know man.... was under a bit of pressure there... or was it pleasure???)

I present to thee Little Miss Christina Komatsu Yeo. Born on the 27th of May 2009 at 10.28am and weighing in at a hefty (I can attain to it man... I carried her for 10min and arm swollen liao)... 2.5kg.... That is a good weight for a premature baby.... But seriously though.... I think she may be really a bright cookie.... and in fact calling her a bright cookie will be an understatement. Remember??? My complaint that she will stay still whenever my wife talks to me or when I touch her??? She was crying her head off when she was brought from the feto ICU to the maternal ICU for a visit. Since my wife was still down, I carried her.... Oh My God!!! She stopped crying and opened her eyes and look at me and up and down and so on... and was looking intently and listening.... This is not a father's pride or what... if it were any other person's kid, I would have called the Tang Kee (chinese medium) to check for 666 and signs that she is not Damien's (The omen) god child... My silly wife was more interested in counting the fingers whether there were too many or too few... She was afraid that if the little one had 6 fingers, I would take the next flight to Sillypore to kill a fellow 6 fingered friend and if too little, she would be the next in line to blame... muahahahahahaha......

Anyway, bygones bygones... this kid is mine man.... She has my nose and her mother's half F**ked Angelina Jolie lips..... not saying that it is not nice hor.....

Anyway... enjoy...... I am gonna rest for a while... it has been a ride.....

Oooohhhh.... What to do???

Hey campers... You know the previous posts when I mentioned that my daughter would be born on the 13th of June, then it became 29th of June, then now..... it will be tomorrow..... hence the sudden post and at such a late time.... (Hey it is past 9pm here in Japan and I gotta wake up by 6am ok?)

Anyway, last Friday, I was having one of the shittiest days of my life and though I have had many... the shit just kept dropping that day. First.... I was driving home from Compass Point when I was about to vroom into a left hand curve and filter into the lane when the lady in front of me stayed still.... I jammed the brakes..... Damned.... she had so much space to filter and I would even have space.... so a bit shell shocked and perhaps a bit pissed off, I got into my carpark and was backing into the lot.... when crunch!!!!! I ended backing into a damned pillar.... please do not ask me how it happened... I must have stepped into a black hole where the logic of the universe ceases to exist.... Cursing and swearing and cursing and then swearing again, I got home and my wife called me.....

"Dear.... uhhhmmmmm..... the operation will be brought forward to 27th May....." "Holeyyyyy F******ck!!!! How come......how come???? Are you okay...??!!!"

She was okay, but her innards were starting to drop out and if it came out by the normal way.... she would bleed and so the doctors decided to make my life a bit more difficult by asking her to go in 2 days earlier... which meant by the time I reached on Saturday, I would only have a few days to help her prepare for the birth....

So fast forward to today, Tues the 26th, she went to the hospital at the unholy hour of 8am... which is 7am Sillypoer time hor... and started her journey.... Examinations, explanations, exclamations, expletives.... all in.... Then baby will be cut out at 10am tomorrow, but her journey again starts at 6am Japan time... which is 5am Sillypore time... Why so drama? She gotta clear the shit out of her system..(literally hor), then get to wear the DVT socks and the pump and then she gotta get a shot for stopping the stomach from moving and then walk to her doom... oooppsss I mean operating theatre at 9.30. There they will probe and poke her till 10 and cut the baby out... Then they will put her to full sleep and sew her back up....

Now... the doctors forsee that she will still bleed.. As to how much she will bleed, they have no idea... It could be 1000cc, which will not be too bad... or it could be more.... So no matter what or how much she bleeds, she is destined for the ICU for at least a night.... now comes baby.... Since she is 2 weeks and a bit more premature.... So her lungs may not be well formed and since she will not go through the usual virginal tract... her lungs will not be squeezed and so she may have further problems.... So in she goes into ICU too......

Now imagine the interesting dilenma.... both mother and child... in ICU... but both ICU's are not in the same place.... who do I look at more? By the time the day ends... I will be the slimmest dad in the block..... no jokes man.... But instructions from the wife is to make sure I spend more time with the kid..... hmmmm seems like she is sick of it after carrying it for so many months.... hahahahahaha...

Well, wish me luck man.... I sure as hell need it.

Wierd Life

Recently in the papers, there have been reports of loan sharks painting O$P$ (owe money pay money) on cars.... and these cars are not even owned by the idiots who loaned the money. Just unlucky people who live near the Mutha F**king piece of lowlife pond scum who borrowed money and cannot or will not pay. So these MF loansharks target anyone and everyone in the hope that the people affected will be moved to get the a*hole who borrowed the money to pay up.... or take pity on the family and pay for them... no matter what... no loss...

It is so stupid. And what are the authorities doing about it? Considering making the act of borrowing money from a loan shark illegal... So you could be fined (you are out of money anyway) or you could be put in jail.(good mah... free food and lodging and no O$P$!!)

The economy is bad and is worst than what I remember before. The Asian crash, the dot com crash and so on all did not feel so bad. The end was still in sight, but we are in a deep deep tunnel here and we do not think we can see any light for a while.

So now... back to those really inconsiderate people. Those who borrow money and not able to pay.... I know of some who even not borrowing from loan sharks already cannot pay liao.... And I am not talking about the principal... if I were to ask for interest, even that cannot be paid... And I am not talking about energizer rabit here hor.

But seriously though, painting the walls of the person owing, even lift lobbies and so on is already low. Considering that the money they are earning is already good enough. At 10% a week interest, in 10 weeks, you will double your money liao... So lah guys... please do a little good for society lah.... And to the authorities, please also do something about it lah.

Swine Flu and life

Seems like we were all blasted sideways by the rapid onset and spread of H1N1 Swine flu... Its like looking into the cosmos to find the asteroid that will kill us all like the one that killed the dinosaurs and one coming from a completely different direction. But thankfully, since we are all pretty hyped up about a flu pandemic, we are all more or less prepared.. I just hope that it all dies down in time for me to go to my baby's birth. I am transferring through Seoul, and they have the swine flu there, so I am a bit worried.

And what of the stocks of anti-virals that seem to have been stocked up? Are they really enough for the primary care givers? Do we have enough for a huge influx of patients? It already seem like there may not be enough ambulances... last heard from somewhere was that there were only 40 ambulances available... I do hope that if anything happens, there will be enough man... I do not want to go through the SARS episode again as it really took a huge bite out of our lives and also our economy... Imagine... if people did not go out, did not buy things, then how are our businesses going to recover... But then again, people in Sillypore are kinda silly about diseases too. Imagine HMFD... Hand mouth Foot Disease.... a kid has it... has a few days mc because the kid may infect his fellow students and the parent wants to take him or her to overseas for a holiday and or to the playground so that he or she is not so sian (bored in dialect) of staying home.... Good God people!!! How would you feel if other irresponsible parents did the same thing and your child is exposed? How come you cannot think of anyone other than yourself?

It bring me back to a long time ago when I was part of a company and we were having an event.... It was a school, so we were havng a graduation ceremony... I was in charge of the marshalling area where the children were held till it was their time to go up to the stage... A few parents came back to take pics of their children.. but one idiot of a dad was smoking and his smoke could clearly be seen to be flowing near the other students... I asked him to smoke somewhere else and he challenged me to make something out of it... Yea mate.... You wanna kill yourself and your children, go ahead... Why would I want to make something out of it... If you are such a big F**k and had so much power but so little brains... that was your downfall mate.... its got nothing to do with me... I am not getting paid enough...

And this is unfortunately the same for all other parents.... You wanna do something stupid... then please do it with your own kids in your own home... do not bring it to other people mah......

Anyway.... I was planning on sending a letter..... No not to my MP but Jolin Tsai... she is a cutey.... and she has the assets....(I mean it literally and figuratively muahahahahaha)... She stresses that she is pretty stressed about being single.... hmmmmm. I wonder why is this so??? Guys being put off by her being so popular? Being so successful or what? I do not know... But seriously speaking though.... Why are some really pretty girls not attached? It could be insecurity of the guy.... He is afraid that after winning her heart, he will not be able to keep it... Us guys are usually pretty damn possessive... We can do anything and everything we want, but our women cannot even blink at another man.... We are also pretty insecure if we earn less than our mates because it will seem like we are living off them. But guys, these are all misconceptions hor.... Just as long as you do not get cheated like me... My wife told her parents we were getting married when I was hoping that she would tell them she was just seeing a foreigner.... And she told me that her family owned a mountian which was later revised to shares of a mountain and then lastly became a mountain no one knows where it is..... Well.. that is being cheated.... hahahahahaha.....

Nemesia... Death Star

I love watching documentaries and last night proved to be one reason why.... I learned that scientists suspect that our sun.... you know the bright, hot thing in our sky?? It may have a binary sister.... I did not say twin sister hor... Stars with binary partners are not uncommon in the universe.

So this binary sister is supposed to be close enough that it will jiggle some rocks in the Ort cloud, (a cluster of rocks... some as big as a planet) far far far away... at the edge of our solar system... So..... if we truly have such an evil sister star and it is causing all the mass extinctions, let us consider this.... What is the ultimate future of us human beings? And if we are all destined to go the way of the dinosaurs.... what do we do?

Well.... personal thought... jus F**k it and just have all the fun and all the sex and hedony as we can till we all die... we will die anyway.... right???

Anyway... back to Nemesis... it is the name given to this star, but it may not even be a star.... it may be more like Jupiter.. a gas giant.... seems like most of the further out planets are more of clumps of gas rather than rock like Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars.... If this is so, it will be more difficult to find... but no matter what... isn't tv interesting???

Hhehehehee... Cheers and peace out.

This is truly shocking and unacceptable!!!

Well fans... I am seriously stressed out about a certain energizer rabbit... As I told you yesterday, she went and took out some money from our joint account because she feels that $750 a month for her is not enough... How the hell does one spend $750 and not even go out or do anything? Now I hear that she has been telling the maids that we have a heck of a lot of money and that if anything happened to her, they can have her money. Who the f**k does she think she is? Madam Queen Latifa Mother of Persia? Does she even know how hard it is to earn and save $10? The big problem is that our gahmen, the people we elect into power do not care about us middle income earners...uuuhhh wait... do they care at all??

I would have loved it if there were a geriatric centre in the middle of at least every cluster of flats. So that the aged can go for some inter-mingling and also some form of life. But energizer has no life. So she has to find reasons to live, eg "looking after" the kids and so on... Julian is 8 now and he has to start to look after himself. But old crazy wants to feed him and manja him... Wait till my baby comes to Sg... she will amble to my place and say that she wants to look after her too. And that will be the start of so much problems and so much grief as she will want to do things her way... no matter how wise or unwise that is.... Actually, for her, nothing is wise anymore because she does not really use her brains anymore.

I do not mean it in any demeaning fashion. It is just that her brain is not working anymore either by choice or by default. Anyway... so back to being unacceptable and shocking.. if she dies and the maids come and said aunty told them they could have her money... I will dig up all her bloody remains and den rebury them again in a most uncomfortable manner. Imagine... now in this bad economic times, there are so many robbers and bad people around. And yet she wants to flaunt what she has... And maids are maids.... How can you trust them so much??? Well, the thing is, if any maid were to kidnap her and ask for money.... it is not that I want to be mean... but I will say that I do not have any money... and leave her to them... it will be less costly.And more convenient.

Been away for a while

For the past few weeks, I've been pretty damn busy. At least now I have a bit of time to breath. By meaning of breating, I mean only for a little while.

I was out completely yesterday because I had spent the weekend in JB doing some congress stuff. And only came back on Sun evening. Talk about work and being busy huh....

The big problem was also that I found out that my energizer rabbit went to the bank and withdrew 1k from our joint account. I was pretty devastated. In a way I was hoping that it will not happen, but in the end, it did.... And it will start the flood gates if I am not careful. I am gonna give her my half of the $700 mthly allowance. And if it is not enuf, it will unfortunately start a series of events which will turn extremely ugly. If I find that she has withdrawn another 1k, I will unfortunately have to take even more serious measures. Spending is like a disease. You have to cure it. Because she thinks that we are al very rich, she will not want to save. I think that even if she wants to, she does not know how because her concept of money is totally gone.


And this is where the problem will lie. Like I have always said, if the money runs out, then life cannot continue. I am already pretty freaked out about her inability to think things thru. I am afraid of her going downstairs by the flying or leaping method instead of using the lift... As mentioned before, when a person's mind fails, they tend not to see things or think things thru.If she could think things thru, then she will not have spoilt my air con vent. Because I know that the old ladies must have felt cold and must have wanted to change the direction of the vent... But of course again, you can and should only do it with the remote and not forcing it... So she forced it and broke the clip and I had to pay for a new one... Which she claims is already 2 plus yrs old and should spoil anyway... Which is farking stupid logic because I would not want anything to be spoilt no matter how bloody old they are.

I hate to see people waste money... Especially now when you do not know when you may be out of a job and if you will be able to draw your next pay check.Like I always say, you have to plan your finance because if not, when shit happens, you will or may not be able to pay for it.... Imagine... if wife has to give birth and I do not have the money... Or child is sick and needs treatment and we do not have the money....

Having spare and savings is never a bad thing. But even my sis has the very bad habbit of spending too much. She bought a BM claiming that she can get a few k back for getting rid of her Esteema and it ends up that she will pay over 30k in interest rates and the car will end up slightly less expensive than mine. And then she will send her eldest son and her husband to NZ by the end of the year to start him off there and so on.... It will all take money.... so shoudl she not save now? When my mom sees this, like a child... she will go.... "oooohhhh everyone so rich" and she will spend lor.... which drives me crazy.... How the hell can they think in such short term...

Anyway... I will chill out and start to distance myself. And be prepared to cut everything if I really have to... because this sinking ship could bring us all down.... So my frens and all my dears readers.... having the responsibility of bringing up a family or leading a family really sucks... and having a family that does not listen sucks even more.....

Still hungover from the wierdness

Let me tell you something boys and girls.... Wierd is not the word I should use in my life right now... but it is... Guess what??? As mentioned before, I know my baby girl's birthday, which will be the 29th of May 2009... So the possibilities and the permutations are 2959 and 2905.... right? Your uncle bought a lot during this weekend... but all the wrong bloody numbers.... I bought 2969 because I still thought that my baby will be born in June... crap... eat shit and die Mikey......

So the wierdness continues.... I am just wondering when such small happenings will end... I am not freaked out about it or whatever, but it is interesting... hehehehehehehe

Continuation:

I jus spoke to the old wife and she was just telling me that everytime when we speak, either on the phone or thru the internet, my baby stops moving.... Perhaps she is shit scared of me... or she is trying to listen in... But it does not happen to anyone else... Only with me... Maybe she knows daddy is speaking and she has to listen.... But dear me... when she comes out, it will be a different story all together..... hehehehe... I am sure that she will be yapping and talking all the time... So it will be my turn to tell her to shut it.....

Why I can't drive a WRX

I have been mulling with the idea for some time now.... Would a WRX not be a more fierce car to drive? After all, with its boxer engine... the sound is definitely nicer and fiercer... But then I realized one thing.... thank god I did not... (not that I can anyway)... Why?? Well because of the scoop..... Now even with the X, the bucket seats or sports seats or whatever you call them are so low that my coins... my handphone and other things from my pockets can slide into the space between the seat and the flooring.... Which is a bummer....

So what happens if you have a scoop on the hood??? Short people will not be able to see over it... hehehehehe.... not a joke my frens... and it is also very dangerous....

Imagine... wen I first got the X and had not raised the seat... my uncle fren from the petrol kiosk told me he was wondering if he was seeing a ghost car because the car vrooommmedd into the kiosk... but he could not see the driver.... Lols.... maybe it is the way the car was built... to protect the driver from side impact.... or maybe because I am short... but whatever it is.... I have problems with a lot of blind spots till I put many many mirrors all around... Now at least it is better...

Wierd weekend

Well coming off a wierd weekend, I would only like to say that life goes on... Anyway, V jus mentioned a very strange thing to me... He said that his dad's birthday is 29th May and that his dad said if he were to be re-born, he would like to be a girl... And guess what?? Christina Komatsu Yeo, my daughter is supposed to be born on the 29th and she is a girl... So what was he driving at?? My daughter is is his father??? Man this will be wierd....hehehhee

And to make things wierder.... Isn't it wierd that my daughter's birthday will be determined? In the sense that most couples will more or less know when their little baby is coming out, but ours is already confirmed to be on the 29th.... hehehe... shiok hor... but it is actually a good thing and a bad thing lah.... Gud is that I will see my little one earlier... bad is that it will cost me so much more... hahahaha... Sori lah... but all I keep for now I can spend for later....

So instead of talking about EDD (Expected Date of Delivery)... I am speaking in the sense of confirmed date of delivery... But of course anything can happen and the date can be earlier... The drs do not want my wife to have a normal birth as she will lose too much blood if she does so... So perhaps if there is any pre-mature delivery... they will still cut... But at least the date is well ahead of the real expected date of 13th June, so it should be ok... In another way... Christina will not be born on the 13th, so it will be better also... hehehehe... imagine this.."Papa... can I have a birthday party??" "Nope.... 13th is very unlucky number"... hahahahahahahaha

I am not superstitious lah... I do not care for the number 13... and actually my own birthday makes up 13.... 1st of March... 1.3.... hee heee and I have no complaints.... I am not sure if 1968 was a leap year... but I know my mom had a long delivery... so if I were unlucky.... mom starts labour on 29th Feb... and I came out then.... boy I will only officially be 20 yrs old... hahahahaha

I am still having a wierd hangover from a wierd weekend... man... I gotta get outa dis rut.....

Owe $ Pay $

Ladies and Gentlemen... This was written on your walls if you borrowed from a loanshark and could not pay... Chicken heads.. pigs heads and all other heads would be hung on your gate if you still did not pay..

Now not only is the hanging or painting illegal... the actual borrowing of money from an unauthorised money lender may become illegal also... hmmmmm... interesting... If you need money..., u go to some place... u must get a stamp of approval that the place is authorised... or else.....

But actually... if I did not have a job, had to feed family and send children to school and jus needed something to tide me over till my next cheque comes in... will a proper money lending place give me the money??? Ooops I mean lend me the money? Nope... probably they will check your credit status, then your consolidated balance sheet, CPF contributions... blah blah blah... and then tell you... "Sorry mate... you are a credit risk and as such we cannot lend you any money"... so back to square one after that charade of checks... So where can we borrow money from? If our relatives are in similar situations, they will be of no help... If our friends are also of similar situation, they will also be of no help... Can we approach any tom dick or Mary to lend us the money? Nope... I guess not too... So we are screwed...

There are avenues... CDC's or some other local govt arms and NGO's but then lets face it... with so many in desperate need right now... I do think that they are swamped... And even if they are swatting flies because their acronyms are so mysterious that some people mistake them for a multi level marketing company and dare not enter the doorway, they will still not lend us any money because if we were such a credit risk before... it will not change the situation now...

Let us take an extreme example... Mr Lim Ah Kao has finished uni... he just married the girl of his dreams, bought the HDB flat of his dreams, joined the company of his dreams and bought the KIA or Hyundai of his dreams... Now his whole world is collapsing because of the fact that his child is now diagnosed with some form of wierd disease and the doctor wants 30k to treat the child... Mr. Lim Ah Kao is leverged up to his eyeballs and beyond... can he approach the banks and ask for some cash? Does he have anything in his CPF or Medisave?? Can he use the whole amount in the first place? So he is now so royally screwed that he must be wishing that he dreamt less when he could.... Where can he find money? His parents have already waved the white flag because they are still trying to pay off his study loan and his stupid wedding dinner... Of course he has to repay them somehow too... His friends? Well if we as human beings hang out with people who are surprisingly similar... So friends wise... they can't help....

Will he approach the MP and ask for help? What can the MP do? His neighbours?? He just moved in... So he is up sh*t creek without as much as a paddle... Maybe he has to ask the "illegal money lenders".. No choice... and of course the repayment will be so unreasonable he will wish doubly that he should not have dreamt for so much... So how?

A feeling of dispair... or is it worry

I just had pretty worrying news today, my wife shows signs that she will hemorrhage badly and the doctors are so sure that they already set a date for ceaserean and also asked her to prepare her own blood for transfusion. So it seems kinda scary... But then if that biatch dares to die on me and leave me with a baby in my hands.... I will have my hedonistic ways with it man... Jus joking lah...

But the thing is... its a good thing I have slowing trying to save for a rainy day... the op will cost about 10k SGD... where to find so much money at this time??? And people think that they are in the midst of a recession. But seriously speaking... even if I tell this to Energizer rabbit, she will not understand.... The other day, she asked for some cash so that she could buy some small stuff and also to give some tips... So her loving son changed 150 Euro and 50 USD... That a heck of a lot of small change and tips... and she called back claiming it was not enough.... $%^&*(&%^&*()_$%^& lets see that woman earn so much money... And she was claiming that it was so unfair that I was shouldering so much responsiblity and so on... and the next day she calls up asking for a digital camera... Everyone swears that they know she has a silver camera... but she says she does not have it... and she was saying I was so poor thing.... Yea.... guess what... she was playing mahjong on Saturday too... So she says one thing and thinks another... if she thinks at all....

Haizzzz... that is the curse of my life lor.... But then the big thing is that even being cursed... I am also looking at the positive side of things... So I can get to see my daughter earlier... and she will cost me a bloody bomb... There is still the 6k waiting for the next IVF cycle as the money paid cannot be refunded... Oh well... wat the heck... No wonder people do not want to have children in Singapore.


Wait... my girl will be born in Japan... same thing lah... f**king ex lah.... But looking at the bright side... wife does not have to undergo labour... so it is cut and pop and done... hopefully the bleeding is not too bad and then she gets well after that... I will be giving her plenty of my company's products after and before she gives birth. So instead of waiting for hours and hours... I only need to go out for a few sticks and she should be done... hehehehehe.... and because there is no birth through the ahem ahem... her hip will not be mis-aligned and she can get back to shape more easily..... Bright side... bright side.....

Well wish me luck.....

The world is turning now

So now the AIG people say that they want to return some of the bonuses that they recieved. Hmmmm so lets get on with life liao lah....

As for me... life is interesting... Now my baby has returned to an upright position, little idiot turned to head down last week and is now head up again. Its either he or she has too much space and is too active or is jus a plain old irritating brat. No matter.. I will properly discipline it when it comes out... Trust me... I do not want to be one of those super protective parents who spoil their children... The only one who will be spoilt in my house is me... Hehehehehe...

I was already telling my wife that I will be sleeping as much as I can and resting as much as I can when I get to her hometown because I am just so damn tired nowadays.

Anyway... hope the world becomes a better place now... my baby needs a nice world to grow up in man....

I give up

Hehehehe... My wife went for another check up... one of many while you are pregnant and I asked her to get the doctor to see if I had a boy or a girl... Deeeeeeepppp inside me, of course I would like to have a boy because then I can throw balls at him... oooppss I mean throw balls with him.. and teach him how to go after girls... ooppsss I mean be a better person... Girls... till a certain age are fun, then they become no touch areas for dads... After all, though perverted I may be... I am not that perverted mah.... Unless she is damned beautiful, has a great body and loves her daddy... (boy... I am doomed to spend an eternity in hell)

But back to the check up, no matter how the doctor check, and how they tried to look, still could not give a 100% diagnosis... Which makes me wonder if my kid has a problem and or the Japanese doctors really suck...But anyway... the doctors said... "most probably a girl lah" .. Ok lor... girl can look after the next baby lor.... haizzzz... beggars can't be choosers lah... Some more it was so difficult to get the baby in the first place...

But seriously though, I sometimes feel a bit sad to think that my dad is not around to see all this.... There was a big fuss on the forums about euthanasia and so on... No... it is not a new continent or country... It is the "killing" allowing a patient with terminal disease or incurable disease to "go". For me... I have always been proud about my mind... other than my mind.. there is nothing else really useful about my body... So I guess if my mind goes.. it is time for me to go...

But the question is, if the person has left instructions, then it is easier for the care-giver.... If not, then how does the caregiver decide? I have seen some people derided for allowing their aged parents to "go". Because the problem is, it is until we are faced with a situation, we can role play all we like.. ask what if all we like... adopt all the pre-concieved notions we like... but we will have to make the decision when the time comes. I will take the example of my grandfather-in-law... He had cancer and it was advanced by the time he went to the hospital. He was past 70 and my dad-in-law told the doctors to allow the old man to go in peace and painlessly. I have also heard of a fren who's dad-in-law has terminal cancer and he does not want to die... So what can he do? In all, it depends on the person and the caregiver... But I tell you, it is not a decision one can make easily.

As for other topics, as you may well know, AIG is in a world of trouble because it gave the very executives who brought the company down, multi million dollar bonuses and also retainment fees.... And to think about it... what the hell are they doing to demand so much money? Money is never enough for anyone.. but think of all the poor people who have nothing to eat. It brings back to mind the NKF debacle... how a man can have golden taps when the money comes from the man on the street? I am not a communist... I am a humanist... it is different from being socialist... communist or what... I think of the human beings and their feelings...

Well, I do hope that karma will catch up with them and that they will learn that what they have done to all is bad... A lot of times, when you reach a position of power and are one of the elites... be it in a corporate climate... political climate and so on, you will soon forget you are human... You may think of yourself as a god or at least a demi god... why not... in the Chinese culture... there are so many gods and demi gods and dieties and so on... that you have to have the brain the size of an entire encyclpedia to remember who is who and who does what.... I may be a chinese, but thank god I am a Buddhist... or should I say thank buddha...

As for the energizer rabbit... haizzzz.... going to Turkey or Greece or lord knows where and she will be asking for more money again... As her children, we are her walking ATM machines and there is no withdrawal limit... Even if this ATM is sucked dry and has to eat bread for a whole month... I do not think she will really control herself... So sometimes... I feel that death for me is and will be a pleasure....

Anyway... I will not go just yet... wanna wait til at least when my kid is born...

This world is wierd!!??!!

This is a story taken out from the internet.

An E10 met with a GTR, the E10 went into high boost and upon a certain stretch of road, the GTR blasted away and the E10 followed closely behind. They started to weave into lanes that were more open to allow the cars to go faster..... then a mazda 323 filtered in and led all the way..... A Mazda???? Heavily turbo'd? Special modifications? Nope.... just that it had to words "POLICE" written on it.... Well, no matter what make your car is, there are still more powderful cars in this world huh?

Anyway, my sis is now in NZ. I do hope that she takes care of herself and also does not allow Chris to drive too stupidly. Many accidents have happened because of carelessness or the driver not being familiar with the terrain.

As for wierd... imagine... now AIG says that it has to pay millions in bonus to its staff because if not, lawsuits will happen. Well, the question is this... If you pay, does that not allow the senior management to be self satisfied? "Hey... look at all the idiots... we robbed the company blind and now we get our money...." What about the people at Lehman Brothers or other companies that went bust? AIG got the money to help it keep afloat... Not at allow it to give its senior management so much. It was all these people who got us into this deep shit in the first place... So why pay them? Close the damn company down lor... lets see who dies first..

And talking about that... the recession is really biting in. But the big problem is how do we get out of it? Japan tried for so many years... It is still back in square one.... We in Sillypore have such thin margins that we have to dig into our reserves soon.... ??? Hmmmmmm..... how come we do not have any spare?? How come we have to dig into our reserves so soon ah??? But that is for the politician and politician wanna be to duke it out lah... I am a simple man... give me my pay... give me my job and allow me to live and I am happy.

There are some people who are super negative... There was an issue in another forum and there issue became who will fight for their country... And some were complaining that in the end, we are fighting for our gahmen..... Uhhhh.... if I were to fight, it will be to protect my loved ones and those I do not love so much from any tyranny and or foreign forces... It is to protect my new car... my way of life.... We cannot depend on the promise of 1 nation 2 systems like in Hong Kong.... Imagine the suffering we went thru in the war... That is what I would not like to see for my own family... though it may not be a bad thing because some of these really spoilt brats will find out how hard life can be.... hmmmm.... interesting idea... hahahahahah...

But seriously... the world is made up of a lot of different people. And as such, it has to be a compromise of attitudes, cultures and needs... Not just for a few people who run the show... It is not only in political, but also in corporate. The time of the great wahoo who says and people quiver are gone.

Interesting news with a twist

I read on the news today a British guy who wants to sell his wife because she nags too much.... Hmmmmmm.... true hor.. why jus kill the b*tch and dump the body... ??? Might as well make some money and get rid of a headache... But of course it depends on how babilicious your wife looks like. If she looks like Pamela Anderson..(oooohhh Pammy) and just nags... I am sure that many people will willingly pay you for her. Just wear ear plugs when she nags lor.

But if she is fat and ugly and naggy... Brother... you gotta pay me to take her off your hands man.... in which case... you are better off just doing what you initially should have done...

But seriously it brings to question how come we have so many problems when or after we are married?? Did the warning signs not come up when you were dating? Or were you so drugged by love that you did not see it....(which brings to mind the saying... Love is blind)... but seriously though I am one who feels that once married, we must try to stick together through thick and thin. She is the thick one with the every growing waist and you are the thin one with the patience growing thin.... hahahahahahahaha

The other piece of news was that N. Korea will be launching its missile... ahem... I mean rocket for satelite soon... And it may fall into Akita prefecture in Japan. So that sorta caused some panic with the Energizer Rabbit.. (hmmm not bad... her mind still remembers that wifey is from Akita and is working enough to know that wifey will go back.... not baaaaadddd... hey wait.... jus like playing mahjong like dat leh... can bluff leh.... purposely read something that can be a conversation topic and bring it up and make me think she is not crazy or stupid.... well done little rabbit... nearly bluffed the master here.....)But seriously... It does not matter what the crazy Kim throws into the sky... It will be really difficult for the missile or rocket or what to actually come in anywhere near my in-law's place... Even if he lobs a nuke... so what?? Tough luck lor.... Not being cold lah... wori so much oso jus a waste of brain cells like I said before.

Even if wifey is back in her hometown and Kim lobs and nuke and oooppsss... it hit near enough to my in-laws... the first thing I will do is to go and buy 4d.... then after that book a flight to claim my rightful estate....oooppsss... I mean be a bereaved husband and father and collect the glowing remains of my loved ones... hehehehehe...Hmmmmm maybe I can sell the iradiated sand back to uncle Kim too.... save money mah......

But seriously though... life is really to short... So worry so much oso no damn use...

Everyone... Peace and take care ok???

Busy busy busy

Its been a while since I last wrote here... Why?? Because I have been bloody busy... but in this bad economic times, being busy is a good thing.... no???

But I have really been thinking about a lot of things recently... Guess becoming a father soon does that to you. Eg, thinking about the future and so on. And also about family and so on. The result of so much thinking? Seriously a waste of bandwidth and brain cells if you ask me... What will be, will be lah...

But many families have either grown apart or grown closer due to the birth of a child. I do not only mean the couple, but the brothers and sisters of the couple and also even the cousins and so on.

Couple: Now they are even more deeply entrenched in a lifestyle that will either grind them to the core or make them happier. It depends on the family lah... If the father is the cheong cheong type, he will resent being at home... Or if the mother is the "like to go out and play" type, then she will be ground to bits in no time. But in theory... this is only a theory though, the couple will spend more time together, have something that they share together and grow closer together. For me, I suppose it will be a bonding time for me.... hmmmm better play more till end of this year..... Oh ladiesssssss... I am still available till Dec... better hurry hor...

The Immediate family:
A new birth will give families the reason to forget old grudges and to visit their brothers or sisters... Imagine.. you pissed off your brother or sister or the other way around... So you have been avoiding visiting them... Things might have gotten better or the problem solved... but the fact is the cold war though over is still on... if the baby comes... it will give you a reason to go and visit... It will also allow you to spend more time with the brother or sister you grew up with...

But on the other side of the coin.... The way you bring up your child may not be the way your brothers or sisters bring up their children..... And that is where the possibility of conflict will begin... "Oi... this is not the way to bring up your children.!!!"....."Ahhhh shaddup....lah.... you don know wat u tokin lah".... den either a flaming war will start or a cold war will start.... So shit happens lor...

Cousins and friends:
Like the brothers and sisters thing.. it brings family together because it gives people a chance to visit each other more.... Like for me.. I plan to invite my First Aunt to look after my baby....So our cousins and so on will be more in contact... Or at least that is what I hope lah.... But then of course, like any coin, there is a flip side... if the cousin drops your child or says that your child looks stupid.... war will happena and blood will be spilled.... But for me.... call my kid stupid lah... say stupid things about them oso never mind lah.... After all.. sticks and stones babes.... For me... I believe in what I believe... I do not care what others think or say... because they are also free to believe and to say... If you are confident of yourself, then whatever anyone says or does... it will basically not matter.... That is why also I do things because I want to and not because I have to... But then of course.... now... with a kid... I will have to lor..... no choice.... hehehehhehehe

When is enough really enough?

This is a very good question where no one really knows the answer. If you do know, please tell me as I really want to know. The reason, now my sister's ex husband is either out of a job or he is facing difficulties. So he is not giving my mom any more money. In fact, he is not even able to give my sis her alimony.

So we decided to give Little Energizer Rabbit $700 as a whole. Half from me and half from sis. Is this enough? Looking at things from a normal point of view, she has 700 to spend on anything she wants. It is a luxury when you think that some people have only 1.5k salary and they have to use it to pay for food and so on... So in theory, it should be enough.... But after 6 years of having 2plus k each month and 1 plus k each month, my sis asked her if she had any savings and she said she had none.... So where did all the money go?

That is where my pain comes from, it is all wasted. Admittedly she did spend a bit on us all. But then it is mostly money that was wasted away seeing doctors and so on and not taking medicines. So how can I recoup? Is what we give her enough? What happens when she says that it is not enough???

My gentle readers, that is why I said that mental problems are the hardest medical problems to treat. In the end, we spend time, money and effort and it is up to the patient to want to get better. This sickness is such that she will not get any better. She wants to d her teeth, still wants to go to her cancer doctor and so on.... In the end, if she is diagnosed with cancer again, then how? I am not advocating death for her... but perhaps sometimes, an early death will help all those surviving because if she eats through all the money, then we are truly better off dead.

What's your fortune for this year??

My Fengshui master said that I will have great luck this year... I think it is and will be all used up on my baby. Christina.... I think it will be a girl and also because the doctor cannot find a "dick" and so supposes that it will be a girl, will be born into a time where there is great discontent and also great economic problems. For that, I am really quite sorry. But then if not now, then when??

Instead of blaming all and sundry for the plight that we are in, I would say that after such dizzying heights of profits and gains... some how some where, we gotta plunge down again. But then who gives a sh*t.... At least I have a job and my baby is coming... And that is all that I worry about.

Actually that brings me to another interesting side flip of the story... My fengshui master keeps telling me to be careful of romance... Uuhhhhhh bro.... romance happens all the time... but then the big thing is that at this bad economic times.... I will not be too interested in getting romanced... That is why my wife is so secure with me, because I am a cheap bastard.... Everything I do now... I look at the cost and so on.... Yeah.... having romance does not equal to money... but then the thing is, to bring someone out for a meal DOES require money...

However, I will proudly proclaim that I do have a strange liking for N... she knows who she is lah... so I will not tell you who she is.... hahahaha... and for those who are in my inner circle... I will tell you next time we meet lah.... Anyway... she is really sexy and beautiful and I think that that is where the trouble begins... but gentle reader... do not worry... I am not that type of guy... I love my wife and my future baby and will not do anything to put that in jeapordy... And oh yea.... I have been the sufferer of a bite in the asse before... meaning to say that long long long long long time ago... I met this lady in Aus and we had a one nighter and she told me that we were adults and that it was only for one night... But the next day she started to demand that I go to her place for dinners and so on and it freaked me out.... So now... No more such things!!!! Even if the lady swears herself blind and says that she is not gonna call me after we do the diry.... I will not believe her... Once bitten twice shy.... Well... bite me once and that is enough... hahahahahaha

But actually I am just being cautious and also perhaps trying to be smart... I had an opportunity once to get a high school girl in Japan.... oooooohhh yeeessssss babes.... the wet dreams of most guys.... She was really into me and we went out for movies and meals... And nooooooo!!! I did not even lay a finger on her.... But then she turned "Fatal Instinct" on me and did a stalker number on me.... I decided to call it off because she was getting a bit too chummy and when we went out.. she wanted me to hold her and so on.... Nooooo she was not an ugly short or fat girl... she was in fact petite and very cute... (Trust me lah... if not cute... she would not even have been able to get me to ask her out... hahahahaha).. anyway... She called my workplace....many many many many times.... She called my home number... many many many many times..... and she called my handphone even more times.... I think that cuckoo had my numbers on speed dial and was just going "hmmm which number should I call now.... peeeeeeppppp"... and the hundredth time she called.... Hmmmmmm maybe I should have just answered each one and each connection would have been charged and she would have been asked to pay a fortune... Well luckily I lived thru that episode and never again will I trust women... sori hor... but like I said.... once bitten... twice shy.... get me a third time and I better go and die....

But it also depends on the guy's brain I guess.... for me I have everything I want.... I do not need sex.... I will be forty this year.... sex to me means having and ICU chamber... oxygen.... heart defib and so on ready and on standby.... and if it were N.... I think surely... with such a hot chick.... I better get ready my death suit and so on.... Such a shock will surely kill me... hey... at least I will go with a SMILE.... on my face....

But seriously... I look at things and always ask myself what do I want from this? If it is something that is not really wise... I will not do it...

But there are guys who do the most stupid of things.... In the lancer forum... there was this really pretty girl who was spotted driving a Lancer... and some guys said she was parking at her boyfren's place for the night.... But still a few of the guys went to look for her.... uuuhhhhh pretty girl never see before ah??? Man... get a life.... even if you catch a glimpse of her... it will not be nude... it will not be that she will turn around and decide that you are the one in her life... and she is going to stay with her boyfren... while losers hang outside... waiting.... Man... get a life.... the maturity level of Sg guys is sometimes really shocking....

Anyway... seriously.... I told my fengshui master not to worry... I am using the best tai chi techniques to keep my romances in check.... but.... hmmmmmm.... I got a problem there.... I tried to tai chi my ex when we first started and she became my ex....... oooooooohhhhhh shitssssss....... hmmmm.... better get my wife to come to Sg with my child soon man.... end of year.... wow... it will be fast.....

But then... I will be starting to travel again from tomorrow.... So I will be safer.... hahahahahahahahaha... Byess for nowsssss.....

No Job learn to drive lorry

I am surprised at how out of touch some people are with life.... The newspaper mentioned that if we become jobless, we should learn to drive lorries and other heavy vehicles and the government will help... Yea thanks a lot.... I already have to adjust my seat in my normal car almost to the front most... how the hell am I gonna even touch the pedals of a heavy vehicle? Or see over the top??? Chey.....

But then what is surprising is that the transport industry has already gone belly up... I have a lot of frens who have been restructured because they work in freight and carrying companies and demand has gone down... So how will the trucks and so on survive??? I think it is because of the fact that taxis are now over crowded. ALmost anyone who losses his job will take a vocational license and drive a cab... So now... the only other choice is to drive a bus or a lorry...

The economy is going south... how far south... no one really knows... But it will be pretty damn far still man.... I have been reading up on the magazines and it seems like the wolves are out again selling mortgages and other things under the guise or bail out funds... They do not care who suffers when all they are about is their own pockets.... (I mean bankers hor) Imagine using the bail out money from the US gov to line their pockets with multi million dollar bonus.... to even think about a bonus at this time is like saying the name of Satan in a church.....

Anyway... things will really be tough and I do hope that everyone gets through ok... Please do all take care and stay nice to each other ok???

Dead Tired and Busy

Its been a few days since I last blogged constructively, but I just wanted to put down some thoughts. Baby, (who for the life of me, I still do not know if boy or girl) is damned active and causing wifey to even put it to sleep. Poor thing is so tired because when she tries to sleep, baby is kicking and moving. Hmmmmm... kinda reminds me of my Energizer Rabbit. Damn... I do hope her genes are not too powderful in my baby.......

As for little Energizer... like I said... she doesn't know the meaning of the word "bad economy"... Ok... maybe it is two words and she cannot understand that. The a*hole ex husband of my sister's is MIA and does not pay mom the repayment of the loan.... But incredibly, little rabbit is playing mahjong twice a week again!!!! I do hope she doesn't lose man... Where the hell is she finding her money??? I am not against her playing, but I am just hoping that she will be more careful in her finances lor... Just like my sis, she wants to buy another house because Chris has 70k in his CPF which they can use.... Uuuuhhhhh.. She wants to buy a 2mio house... and it is not even worth so much... In such bad times... lets face it lah... we don go for the deal dat looks nice... we cut as much as we can to ensure that we can make as much as we can.... If I were to go in, I would take into consideration the valuation of the house, the price it was bought at, the number of years of interest and then give a consideration. Wah liao eh.... if I told you this were a magic panadol which will cure all your pains and try to flog it off at $5 per tablet... you would be careful right?

Haizzzz. that is why sometimes I do feel so stressed at my family. I am just wondering where the brains went to. Dad wasn't stupid and I am not stupid, but the problem is when it comes to the female side of the family.... really no brains..... It is sad man....

Anyway, I was just talking to a few frens and seriously speaking, times are really bad nowadays. It is a time where we have not seen or imagined before. In past recessions, it came slowly, but now I came in a matter of months. So we really gotta be extra careful.

Well gotta go for now... ciaos till a later time.

The shit is only starting to hit the fan

We are faced with a lot of bad news lately. This company is retrenching and that company is not doing well. The scions of the economy are also facing huge losses. No one can actually blame anyone lah. Seriously, I am not one of those silly Sillyporeans who cry and bemoan that our esteemed SWF's have had to endure huge losses. Firstly, how the hell are they supposed to grow our reserves if they do not invest? Play with themselves and then pay themselves? So like any instituition or individual, they place funds in places where the returns will help to grow them. So I am not complaining lah.... Don wori.

But what I am more afraid of is that the economy is on a slippery down hill slide and there is nothing much that can be done for it for the time being. During the good times, banks and institutions have made crazy bets, some even betting on things that logically do not need to exist. The derivative market is fabled to be USD$600 trillion... Ladies and gentlemen, there are so many zeros in a trillion that you will go cross eyed just looking at it. And if you think that you can try to understand the figure, forget it lah. Lets put it this way.... 1 million is still not so unaffordable. U have a house worth 500k, your savings worth 100k, insurance worth 200k, you are just short of being a millionaire. Billion is almost an improbably figure already. If you manage to save 5k a month, it will take you well over a thousand years... and ladies and gentlemen... we live on average 70 years hor.

But then it really brings me to the question of when is it enough???? Ask yourselves this every once in a while. Is $50 a day enough? Or $5? We can strive for more, but are we happy with what little we have. If we save, then will it not be detrimental to the economy? Yet if we spend, would it not be detrimental to us? So how? These are questions that when asked, we really can only scratch our heads and sometimes our asses and just have no answer for that...

But I do wish one and all well and hope that you will all get through this bad times without too much problems hor.

Our funny little country

You know my friends, I read with some sense of amusement at the news article of some of our elderly being sent to JB for care. Why??? Because it is so expensive in SG. Imagine, I have made a study of a few homes in SG and they are all around the 1.2k-1.6k ranger per mth. If I had a salary of only 3k, half of it would be spent on my energizer rabbit's care. (Actually I would be paying the same amount just to keep her alive now anyway)(She is playing mahjong almost every weekend and sometimes several times a weekend and if she wins, it is all fine and dandy, but if she loses then how???) Anyway, it is disappointing lor. The government thinks that we should be able to look after our own elderly, who are the founding citizens of our fair land. No little wonder since our reserves are not that much and losses recently are quite substantial.

However, the bane is with healthcare. Since we are a meritocratic society, if we merit something, then we get it. A normal home with an income of 5k will be comfortable. But if we have just one old demented energizer rabbit, we are screwed. She spends more than what we can earn, and if we were to put her in a home, she will cost as much as we earn. Why do we want to put her in a home??? If she starts to eat trash, put glue on her feet because it is itchy, do you think she should not be put into a facility where she can have 24hr care? I live on the 10th story.. if she stays at my place and she wants to go down... she may decide not to take the stairs. If she does that... heavens forbid, people might think that I was a bad son man... forcing my mom to suicide... when all that happened was she did not use her brain!!!

If she is sick and needs long term care... it comes out of our pockets.... We pay for almost everything. Of course the government says medicine is subsidised.... Has anyone tried the polyclinic lately??? Cheap but the lines are so long that you would most probably die by the time it comes to be your turn. Build more lah..... haizzzzzz....

Or if you need to go to hospital.... Want to stay in C class ward.. go for means test and if you are too rich to want a C class, you pay more.... Waaaaaaahhhh.... Want to save money also cannot... Build more facilities lah!!!!!! Then everyone has a choice mah.....

It is a sad truth lah... Sg is now too expensive to live and to die... And even if you are alive or dead... no one really cares.... I care and that is why everday, I am slowly dying... because I see those who I love slowly dying... My mom, my sis and so on.... Sometimes... I wish things were different. I also wished that things were more simple.... Haizzzzzz

V Day coming around again

I promised my wife that every year I would so something romantic with her on V day. But I am feeling so poor now. No not as in "poor thing... awweeeee! Poor" but as in no money poor. No matter how hard I have been trying to save, the need to spend just overcomes my ability to save. Like I just had to pay road tax for my car, insurance and blah. Then I also needed new clothes for work,eg, shirts and slacks and because I am a short little guy, I have to have them tailor made. It beats the hell out of buying something off the shelf and then having to cut half the bloody material off to make it more suitable for my height. It was like the other time when I went to Giordano to buy a pair of jeans, the shop assistant asked me if I wanted the remaining material back to make a pair of bermudas. It was that bad ladies and gentlement. Anyway, that is another story for another day.

So with Valentine's day coming, I am pondering, should I splurge a few hundred bucks to buy some roses that will make her day and spoil mine, or just explain to her that I have to be a miser because things are really going shitty. I am actually pretty lucky because a few of my frens have already been retrenched. And some of them have already been asked to take pay cuts. No matter how much savings you have, it is being eaten away even if you have a job.

It is also a vicious cycle as the banks have lost a great deal and the whole market has also lost a great deal. Even modestly safe companies have taken a beating because everyone is scared. So no one is spending, but then the there are still some idiots who think that they can spend a whole shit load of cash. My problem was that how come bank bosses still demand huge bonuses when other staff have been sacked. I will not talk about karma or what, but the world is not as stupid as it was before. Now the people who have not will rise to take over the people who have. The whole social order will change within the next 2-3 years and there will be great unrest. If I sound like Nostradamus, do not worry... I do not claim to be one. And I do not believe in foretelling a future. But the signs are there. We had a period of time where we had a lot of peace and relative growth. Now the generation that grew up in such a period are so screwed. My generation. We are too old to find new jobs, too deep in debt to take a lower paying job even if we are given it. How did it happen, why did it happen?

The base reason is greed. Everyone is greedy. However, those who have power want more. It is never enough. So they allow transgression to carry on. The bank bosses want huge bonus so they allow the banks to take huge risks. Hey... the subprime was an idiot's dream of hedonic hell. Imagine, you do not have the money to pay for a second house, but heck we will give it to you as long as you pay the interest and monthly payments. HELLO!!!! If I had only 3k and had to pay 2k for both houses, I will run myself to the ground. And when I run myself to the ground, how the hell am I going to pay??? And yet the banks allowed this to happen. The up side... if the idiot who took the loan is able to pay, he will be paying at a higher rate of interest to feed the bank bosses fat bonus.

But now, those who were led into this mess, those who were royally screwed by this will rise and rebel. As people become poorer, social order starts to be unglued. It is true. If you are poor and living in the dumps, what is robbing someone to get some money or getting caught and being sent to jail be? Rock and a hard place? I do not think so. When social order disintergrates.... the victims will make noise.... Where is the peace? Where is the safety? Blah blah blah... then you will see more troubles lor.

Fat bosses who think that everything is ok will find themselves where the French nobels were during the revolution. A typical lynch target.... Lucky I only drive a Lancer Ex.... hehehehehehe....

Well we shall see lah.... I do hope that my predictions do not come true. For if it does, this world will be a shitty place to live for a long while man. Do not forget, some politicians feel that if the economy is bad.... Lets start a war to make the people forget.

The sky is falling!! The sky is falling!!!

HEhehehe... actually not really just yet lah.... It will fall soon enough, trust me on this one, but the question is only when. I just spoke to a few of my friends that some of them have been retrenched. Now most of them are trying to find any job they can to put the food on the table for their family. I am not saying the large family hor... Just the wife and the kids hor... And the cycle goes on lor...

Of course, fiscal measures and also physical measures by the government should help a bit but then if you think about it, if the people do not change, then how can the measures take effect? There have been reports that the Yanks are at it again, lending money to those who cannot afford it using Government Guaranteed Funds.... It is the new sub-prime now.... So how? Will people change? Not very likely.... Banks have lost a huge bundle, but some are giving their senior executives big bonuses again.... can they change??? No likely again.

So now the topic will be when the sky will fall? Because it surely will.. People who are out of jobs will not be able to meet their repayments on time... Foreclose and you have a bad debt on your hands. Do not foreclose, you are only making the inevitable a little later. Take the hit now and your books looks horrible. If your books look horrible, investors and depositors will flock to your windows to withdraw their cash and make your books looks even worse.

What can we do? Well, even this guru does not know.... All I know is that the apocalypse is neigh and the dark horsemen are riding over the plains... Hey wait.... Sillypore no plains leh.... and a horseman will take very little time to ride across a football field..... Which meanss... Oh Sh8t.... we are out of time......!!!

Well my little ones... that is life and this is one of the darkest hours of our short lives. Not many of us at this generation have had this experience before. Not many of us have suffered before... So now let the pain and suffering begin... Oh yea.... Don expect anyone to come to your help hor... Don forget... I still have a tonne of lemonade in my fridge.... hahahahahahahaha

My Little moo moo is a COW!!???

K fans.... it is not definite... but I think our little ox may be a female.... How do we know??? Well another scan was made while wife was in hospital and the baby still had its silly legs crossed and up around its head like a Chinese acrobat.... So the doctor did the only other thing possible and checked to see if she could find any balls or birdy... Nope... no balls as yet and no birdy.... so by process of elimination... It should be a girl...

I had a look at the vid and yups.. unless the baby has really small birdy... there does not seem to be one and so I have a girl.... Oooohhhh man.... I was just talking to wifey and was just saying that now I am in real trouble.... Guys have a tendency to be softer on girls.... Especially guys who have been brought up the proper way and respect girls... So how to beat the sh*t out of my baby girl???? And if she start to cry and look pathetic... I will be like tofu.... My sis already is tofu with her little monsters.. how u expect her to be hard to my girl? So now we have a problem.....

I was about to ask my wife if we can return the baby to the freezer for a while and try for a boy first?? Hahahahahaha... But then seriously speaking lah... It also depends on how we bring up the kid too lah.... For the first kid, because of the need to take over the responsibility of leading the family, we will always be strict with the first kid... unlike the chicken shit tofu of my sis... But if my second comes out to be a girl... I will be doubly in deep sh*t...We are even softer on second or smallest kid and if it is a girl... ... ....

Hai.... like my previous post... when life gives u lemons... make lemonade.... Anyone wants lemonade... I got too much here liao.... hahahahahahahaha

A bad weekend for me... The Ox Year is damn jia lat

Guess what children? My wife is in the hospital. She found dark brown blood in the morning and rushed to the hospital. They immediately scanned the baby and the placenta and it was ok. So she had to go back, get her things, go back to the hospital and wait for a room. Now she is staying in there for a few days.

What really drives me up the wall and really got me in a shit angry state was that just one week ago, my little energizer rabbit was sitting ever so quaintly in the dining table, telling me and the fengshui master how my sister's two kids had problems coming out and I would have problems too. Though it was not a curse in the direct sense of way, she should have been more circumspect in her statements. When I got pissed off, she even told my sis in a childish way that they should not make any statements about me in a sensitive way. But "Hello!!!" you were sprouting off about how my wife will have a difficult delivery even after I had lunch with you and told you that in Japan, we always hope that nothing happens because the medical system is not able to cope. Only hospitals that specialize in birth have NICU (baby ICU) beds. If these are filled, you will have to go to another hospital. If there is something wrong with the wife or mother, you will have to find another hospital that can handle the situation. There have been horror stories of how a mother was rushed from one hospital to another because she had a stroke while giving birth. In the end, she passed away. So seriously speaking, my mother's Alzheimer's is really getting worse. And to top it all off, while her only son and his wife and grandson are all troubled, she goes off the play mahjong.... Seriously, she is the happiest little energizer rabbit and should not have any f**king gripes man... Other elderly people will have to be careful about their money and so on man.

Anyway, back to wife. They do not know what is wrong, but as long as the baby is stable and the mother is stable, they will not take too many invasive measures. So she will be back home tomorrow and then have to go back again on Wed. This is the typical hardship of a normal person's life. So if you spoil your children, then how the hell are they going to be able to handle problems and situations by themselves?

Anyway, that is all from me for the time being... I am having the shittiest time of my life right now....But in the midst of life giving you lemons... you make lemonade out of it lor... you guys want some lemonade or not... I got plenty to spare here man.... hehehehehehe

CNY came and went

This was a strange Lunar New Year. Never in my life have I seen a more quiet year of celebrations. The roads were more or less empty, the temples were too. Usually there would be a lot of people walking up and down the blocks to visit their friends or relatives, but I did not see many of them. The number of people at the temples were down by almost half and the offerings they give to be burnt was also a small fraction of previous years. What has the world come to? Is it doom? Is it gloom?? Well seriously, the doom and the gloom is upon us. I have been screaming that for the past donkey years.

But strangely enough, there is always a silver lining in a storm cloud and for me, the cloud is actually the birth of my baby. I am looking forward to it. Excited?? Yea, I guess so. But then I was just telling my ex that I am really also not too excited about bringing "little moo moo" into this world. Especially not at this time. The weather is crazy, the economy is bad and also my little energizer rabbit is indeed getting worse. She of course still refuses to listen or to accept my words of advice. Her tunnel vision is also getting pretty bad and of course her need to show face is still as bad. So what else has changed?? I do not know, but I do feel that she is slipping ever so slowly and so deeply into the abyss of Alzheimer's Dementia... and in so doing, is actually pulling us all into the deep hole of depression. We cannot help her, but we cannot be angry. We pity her, but then in a way, it is also her own doing. So that is where the depression comes in.

Then of course, little moo moo will need to be looked after and yet the big problem is that if I push too hard to have my eldest aunt look after moo moo, (for those of you who are still wondering who or what the hell "little moo moo" is... it is my kid lah) And I still do not know if the moo moo has horns or udders.... Well, that is the fun of things I guess.

But back to little moo moo. Udders or horns aside, it will need someone to look after it when my wife is doing the housework and cooking. Of course energizer rabbit can come and do the job, but if that were the case, little moo moo will be lost to the dark side forever. The problem being that energizer rabbit cannot be trusted to make a good decision. Making a decision is already a hard job for her. Just take the example of my second nephew Julian, he wants to sleep with her. But she will not ensure that Julian sleeps promptly at 11 or before. She does not realize that he has school the next day and does not want to be the bad guy. So it is the same with moo moo. And the big problem is that she does things without really thinking too. Just do it... and sometimes in doing it screws it up too.... That is why my private fear is that one day she will go to my front door, want to go downstairs, but not take the lift... After all, going down by lift or by jumping is still the same mah.... Man I tell you, the life I have at home is really not good.

Anyway... back to CNY. I guess like the hungry ghosts who visited me, they must have visited almost everyone. It is only a few idiotics ding dongs who still think that they are having a great year. Most of us smart ones want to hunker down and hope that when the sky falls, the shit does not hit us. There was another guy who wrote on a forum asking how much bonus others received and he was really literally blown off the map.... In times, when times are bad... we gotta keep quiet lah... Imagine... it will also attract unwanted attention hor...If people know that you got a bonus when other either lost their jobs and or took a pay cut... So those who lost out will be your very very good frens man.....

And talking about Ding Dongs... what's this about the stupid nude couple in Holland V? nothing else better to do is it??? Some more if they had great bods and great looks, I would think most people do not mind, but looking at the pics on the news, they were pretty normal looking people.... Want to show off also don do it here lah... we already have enough show off liao lah. Some more with the prudish laws in Sillypore.... they will be arrested and when they are in the slammer... they will be very well accepted by their fellow in-mates man.... heheheheheh

Well gotta go for now... be nice and be good.

CNY coming.... bah!! Humbug!!!

Do you guys remember Scrooge? The guy who was visited by the Christmas spirits and shown his future and so on and how he changed to be a better person???

Well, we are chinese.... and for me especially, I do not really find anything special about Christmas....(Sori to Christians out there hor) But for me, Chinese New Year or Lunar New Year is a bigger event. The big problem is that it is also a costly event... Imagine all the red packets.. (I remember complaining about it last year) and all the special goodies we gotta buy and so on.... and also I gotta wash and polish my car... which will cost me $400!!! (bloody rip off man!!!) So I was really feeling very miserable and also very stingy....

But I got visited.... no lah... u wish ah.... My case was 3 hungry ghosts who showed me my past, my future and my present.... and it did not change me in anyway whatsoever!!! Hahahahahahahaahaha.....

But seriously, my child... who I still do not know if is a boy or girl.... will be born this June.... And "it" will be costing me plenty of money.... Then my energizer rabbit... who is definitely showing signs of being dangerously demented already (she was actually very happy and jumping around saying "my son so tired" last night...??!!?? WTF???)So that is my present.... not very glam huh??

Then the hungry ghost of my lunar new year future showed me what will happen.... deep in debt.... having to pay off my bills.... energizer rabbit still bouncing around....... WTholyF!!! and the hungry ghost of my past showed me..... nothing.... because for me I try not to have a past.... hehehehehehe......

So in all... the 3 ghosts showed me everything and it still made me more than ever certain that we have to keep our money... be careful about the spending and just do our jobs.... We do not know what the future will hold for us and cash is still the best... I plan to save about 100k this year so that I can start to move to buy an apartment in Japan. This is because I am paying rental every month and it is not bringing the home anywhere closer to being mine... But lucky for me... I am a nobody... so when I say such things, no one will have any right to say anything.

Which brings me to the topic of the senior civil servant who bragged about his 45k cooking lesson in a posh school... At least he is doing what the gahmen have been asking us to do and that is to spend time with the family.... But then of course, personally, I do see a tinge of boastfullness in his prose and because of that... I am a bit reticent about condoning his act fully.... It is his damn money and he can spend it however he chooses mah.... hey wait.... it is actually our damn money hor... since we pay taxes and taxes are used to pay his wages... but that is another topic for another day.

The thing is that when people say that he is out of touch with society... I feel that it is a valid rebuke..... The reason being that the higher echelons of our civil service is made up of ranks of people who are scholars and have their career paths mapped out for them... Imagine... in my case, when I was in the army doing my NS, officers who were scholars came in and they would be promoted within six months or a year of their entry to senior levels..... And as I have said so many times before... being a brainiac does not promise that this person will have a high EQ... and this may rub some the wrong way..... It is okay if they are eggheads who laugh like the old Beavis and Butthead of the MTV cartoon fame, but many of them are actually not very simple people. They know that they will rise in the ranks of whatever service arm they are in.... Even X, my ex (no pun intended hor) is only 30 and she is going to be an Assistant Director.... for me... I still have a long way to go before the name Dir, let alone Director, comes my way.....

So these eggheads who may have had the ability to apply what they learnt from the boring text books run senior roles in the lives we lead.... We non eggheads have to learn to live with them lor.... It actually is interesting.... those who studied hard were mostly bullied in school.... Now it is their turn to bully us back liao.... oh sh*t......Well, like they all say.... we live our lives and they live their lor.... don bother lah....I have already seen the hungry ghost of my CNY past, present and future and nothing has changed from the shitty life I already have.... so I'm just gonna shut it and f*ck it.....

Cheers and peace out!

"It won't happen to me"

Most people in Sillypore have this attitude, "it will not happen to me". If it does not, then the "it has nothing to do with me" attitude comes in. Hello!!! We live in the same world and in the same society, so what can happen to others can also happen to youuuuuu.... and even if it does not happen to youuuuuu..... it still has something to do with youuuuuuuuu!!!

The reason why I chose this topic today is because we are... the 30 somethings and the 40 somethings... facing one of the worst financial times and economic times in our lives..... Since it is so short... I am wondering if that is the reason... hehehehehe

But then seriously though... There was a news report that many people still think that they are safe... Those who have the shivers and a tingle of fear are the banking industry... the property industry and the manufacturing industry.... hmmmmmmm... thats already a lot of industries man... and people are still unafraid??? Think that is where the "It can't happen to me" attitude comes in... But lets face it, if we maintain this attitude, then when the shit really hits the fan... we will all be screwed...(please excuse the French)

In the beginning, we will be numb (not dumb hor).... the reality sets in and we get angry.... "why does it have to be me!!??" then the blame game starts... "Who was the little s**t who chose me to be axed???!!!??" Well my little padawan...Tough luck babe!!!

The signs were there... this company let go of so many staff.... that company went bust.... and so on... So how many people have lost jobs and because of this.... how will they survive without being able to get jobs??? So they will eat away at their saving.. if they have any... and then when they have none... they will cry mother and cry father.... A news poll asked how far down the food chain people whill go? And many said that they would not go too far.... "No face lah!" For me, I have spoken to my wife and being a MacDonald's driver delivering Big Macs may be a huge step down for me... but it puts the money and most importantly the food on the table.... Pride and Prejudice are two faults of a Sillypore person....

Even though we are all gonna do badly for the next few years.... the government of course will not say it... added to the fact that we are in a meritocratic society, that only means that if we do not have the "merit", then we do not deserve anything from them..... fume fume...

But seriously though... through this rather long rant... I can only say one thing.... no one owes us anything for a living.... and we should not owe anyone for our living too....

Cheers and peace out...

Man its been a wierd 2009

Remember my second last post, where I said that my lymph node was swollen?? That was my left side... then on last Fri, my right side swelled up too.. Damn... did I not take an anti-biotic that would have killed a horse? So how come it came back? And the left side was still a bit swollen... So I had a pretty crummy... and I mean really pretty crummy weekend. I did not even want to go anywhere.

But then I had to clear some small problems that my little energizer rabbit created.... The first being the stupid air con.... The vendor came and gave me the remote control which cost me 100 bloody bucks......!!! And then when he opened the air con to try and fix the motor.... the clip was broken and I had to get another one..... How much more man???? How come old rabbit cannot just do things using her brains a bit? And still wanna how lien and say she got nothing wrong???? She beat a puppy because it was lonely and wailing!! So what about my baby man??

So that brings me to the second mess she has created.... She called up my first aunt and just said that we will all not be going to her place for reunion dinner this year.... It has been a family thing for so many years... So I went to my aunt's place to see what was happening and to see if there was any damage control needed to be done. We as a Chinese family do have to follow certain rankings and so on... So I was afraid that mom would have stepped on some toes inadvertantly. Well she did not really step on Aunty's toes, but aunty did feel kinda odd. Furthermore, we always bring aunty for New Year's visit every year and nothing was arranged with her this year. Mom is also claiming that she will cook some things and everyone will come on the second day of new year, but seems like no one was informed.... Man if she is flying.... she has just flown all the way to the moon....

But Alzheimer's is like that... You forget, you change and you also neglect... When I was in Japan, I saw this documentary about how people with Alz can use glue to annoint their toes because the tube of glue looks like a tube of ointment and they just think it is ok. Seems like the most affected part of the brain is the fore-brain which handles higher thinking, eg ettiqutte and so on... And so when a person has Alz... he or she does not know if he or she is doing something wrong... And further to this, they will not know if what they are doing is right or wrong!!

So now comes my precious baby.... I do not think that it is safe to leave it to my energizer rabbit's care.... Of course wifey will be there to look after it too... However, it is cries, instead of trying to find out why... mom might just strike out at it... It can happen to a puppy... it can happen to my baby.... After all, people with Alz cannot really be trusted to be thinking.... And she may also have some wierd way of caring that may be totally unsafe. Imagine... she can place my mugs in the place for sauces... spoil my air con, and so on... how can she be trusted to care for a baby when she cannot even care for herself. Some more, she does like to tell lies to cover herself nowadays and the lies are pretty damn weak... She will say that her friends did it or someone else... The big problem is that she has to take responsibility so that she can be allowed the responsibility.

I do not know which stage of Alzheimer's she is in, but it is surely pretty bad now...But it sure as hell is getting to be harder on the caregiver... In Sillypore, it does not matter whether you are rich or poor... But sickness hits all... The big problem is whether the sickness is chronic and whether something can be done to it.... The government does not really care.... It just says that rooms are subsidised... medication is subsidised and so on... However, it is not free and we still have to pay for it... even if it means drawing on our CPF and or medisave and whatever medi you have.... This of course means that if you cannot afford it... you better not fall sick or else.... For me... I do not really care lah... my life can come to and end after my child is born.Some people say that it is not fair... Well sorry my friends... in this world... nothing is fair.... hehehehe

Son of Singapore

This article is in tribute to my dad who passed away over 6 years ago. It seems like yesterday and yet and eternity has passed. My dad was a true son of Singapore, having gone through the war and being one of the first Singapore citizens. He lived a frugal life, and a simple life though he rose to high ranks in the corporate world. He saved and saved and sent me and my sister through uni and even worked part time as a cab driver to make ends meet. Now my energizer rabbit is wasting it all away... But I am sorry for my dad not being around. I would love to have him see me now, to see my wife and perhaps to even see my child.... I would love to hear his advice, to speak long hours with him and to keep him company. For my dad is me and I am my dad. This may sound wierd, but ultimately, we all become our fathers. Though we try to break the trend and try to be someone else, we will be like them. Especially the eldest son of the family.

Being the eldest, the responsibility of ensuring that the whole family pulls through is great. There is not only my own family, but my remaining parent, the energizer rabbit and also my sibling. It is a complete sort of package and because of this I also have to take that responsiblity. We cannot choose our children, likewise, children cannot choose the families they are born to.

My father a son of Singapore was a good Singaporean and a good father. All that he has left now is just the memory of him by his family. He got nothing from the State and asked for nothing from the state.

Sick again

2009 has indeed not been a great year for me, but I am not being pessimistic and neither will I say that we are doomed... As a matter of fact, I am having fun suffering.. hehehehhee

What happened was that wifey gave me a cold.... I was actually sick free for almost 3 weeks while I was in Japan. Then towards the last weeks, she got a cold... and gave it to me... Thanks... but I guess that is what love is!!!??!! Hmmmm if this is called love... no thanks man....

Anyway, so I came back with a bad cough... agian... I had one for over 3 mths before and it got worst.... My lymph node on the throat swelled up... It was the size of a golf ball and I thought I was having the mumps!!!! I could not swallow and even enjoy my smoke because the stupid lump was in the way....!!!

So I went to the doc and asked him to knock me up.... A lot of people ask me why I keep going to the doc because he does give very very strong meds and one of the meds actually nearly killed my sis... But I am comfortable with the meds and am happy taking them... So he wanted to put me on antibiotics.. which was fine and dandy, but I had an itchy butt... So I asked him for a really strong one... The strongest he had was a single dose antibio.... Dear frens.... imagine this.... antibiotics is supposed to be taken as a course over a few days... so if you ask for one that is single dose... take one time and you are done.... you are asking for trouble... trust me on this... How strong must this be???? Pretty damn strong...... !!!

So I wanted to take it when I got home.. but sis was going crazy so I decided to take it in the office and if anything happened to me, at least there would be people who could call for an ambulance for me.... Luckily nothing much happened, but I did feel pretty shitty for the whole day.... Stomach was saying..."no more please.... I am going to resign as being your stomach!!" and my head was spinning... but after I got home.... things slowly were getting better.... Even today... I am still not 100%, but at least the pain is slowly going away....

People will ask... why do I do the things I do... I look at them and just tell them that what has to be done has to be done... no matter how you feel about it. Just like wifey has to go for a walk everyday to ensure that she gets enough exercise and not put on too much weight.... It is cold and she is having a cold... but the consequence of not moving around is that she will be weak and she may gain weight...

It is also the same with the way I do things in the house.... I still have to fix the aircon and remote that my little energizer rabbit spoilt... But I will only do so when I have spare cash and I do not care if she does not have any air con while she is playing mahjong...

Life is hard and so are people. There are no lords and queens... only people who use or are used... So we have to be hard and realize that no one owes us anything and we should not owe anyone anything too.

Well that is all for today.... Peace out brothers and sisters.

The Start of 2009

My luck has been pretty bad since the year started... I do hope that this is not the precurser to a bad luck year. I've been having shitloads of that for the past few years and am pretty tired of it all.

What do I mean by bad luck.... well let me just tell you... I was on my way to my dad's temple to pray to him... being a filial son I guess. I saw a Shell station and pulled in to top up my gas.... Then I saw a "hand wash" car wash.... So I went in... It was a bit more expensive than the one I always go to in Tampines, but then the service was better and most importantly... There were no lines....

After the wash.... I went to Tamp Mart and doom!!! It rained!!! So that was the start... the next scene was when I went to buy a pair of sandals.... Even that I had problems because my feet is size 5 and the smallest they had in the cheapo corner was 6!!! I had to settle for a slightly more expensive one, which I did not really like the look or the colour!!!! After that came the next dooom... which was KFC.... I was standing behind and old uncle and in front of him was a young kid and sister.... There were 2 registers but the other had a guy in front who did not seem like he was taking customers.... I was standing there for almost 5 minutes, I saw him fiddling with his register and thought he was either closing up or tallying the accounts.... Then the uncle in front of me asked me to go to the next register... I asked him..."Are you sure uncle"? I have been standing here for 5 minutes and that ding dong did not even ask me to go!!" We asked the ding dong and he said that he was manning the bloody register and can take orders???? WTF??? Thats service standards for you my frens... wait till the casinos... oops I mean IR's open.

So I ordered 3 piece meal... change the mashed potato to cheese fry and also an extra zinger burger .... just the burger only hor. Sp paid for the thing and went home and guess what... Instead of taking out the mash potato... he took out the coleslaw and he forgot the zinger burger... man did I ever curse and swear... but in the end decided not to complain..... Complain oso no use lah.

So as you can see.... luck wise has not been overly wonderful.... I am just wondering though.... How much worse can it get.... For me I am the type who faces my troubles and shouts "Is this all you have"? So I guess I have a challenger spirrit.... But then of course if you get struck by too many lightnings... the wise choice will be to put your tail between your legs and to crawl away quietly hoping not the get another strike.... hehehehehehehehehe

2009

Happy New Year!!!

I spent the last month of 2008 in Osaka taking care of my wife. In the first few weeks, she was still having trouble with her morning sickness which was not in the morning... She could wake up in the middle of the night to puke, or feel queesy in the middle of the day.. I think the word comes because most moms do feel very puky in the mornings, but it should b called "maternal nausea" or something like dat... Imagine if you have to throw up in the middle of the day and you make the excuse of "morning sickness"???

Well 2009 has come and my child.... still not sure if it is a boy or girl... will be born in less den 5mths... or there abouts lah... June 13th is the expected delivery date.... hmmmm.... must get wifey to bear the kid on any other day man.... sekali the baby really born on 13th and ever so often Friday comes along... he or she will have his or her birthday on a very unlucky day man....

But seriously though, most guys do not like the number 13... even if they are not Christian.... For me, I do like the number because I choose it for whatever team sports I join.... the reason being that my birthday is First of March...1...3.. so using 13... it is easier to remember my brithday.... hint hint...

As for other things... I came back with the impression that nowadays parents every where, do not really know how to look after their children... This is not a joke...I saw so many moms just allowing their children to be perfect idiots and terrors. There was a news story that a little girl fell to her death because her mom was at work and her dad who was supposed to be looking after her went to the shops for a while... While he was gone, the girl went outside, stood on a small chair to play on the verandah and fell.... WTF??? I also saw a mom allowing her son to play around on the train station platform almost unsupervised... What happens of a train comes in and he was close to the edge of the platform.... The birth rates of Japan is similar to Singapore at 1.2 per couple... This is very similar to our numbers.... which means that we are not even able to make half a couple for each couple!!! That is why I insist on a spare tire for myself man.... I plan to make and have my next kid in 3 years time and this is even before the first one is born!!!

But no matter how many spare tires you have, you must really look after all your children.... Please do be careful... I said look after and not SPOIL hor.... But then hor... I am also really pretty scared of old people looking after babies too.

Take for example my Energizer Rabit.... She is really living in the twighlight zone now... She was playing mahjong.... as always lah... and I asked her who she was playing with and right in front of her frens, she gave the wrong name.... Uh.... I do understand if you haven't seen the fren for a long time and or the fren is not with you and you get a little confused, but in front of the fren??? She even called my wife by the wrong name too.... I am wondering how far down the slope of Alzheimer's she is already.... and to top ot all off, when I got back... I found that she had put 2 of my mugs in places where no human would... I have a shelf for cups and also a tray for washed utensils and also plates... If she put them there... I would not even complain.... but she put the in the shelf I keep all my sauces and condiments!!!! Even an idiot would do a chotto matte and think.."why am I putting mugs into a place where there are no mugs?" She even proudly said that she beat a puppy because it was crying last night.... Uuhhhhhh... babies no matter of which type... human... dog or cat only know one thing.... to cry!!! Don't tell me she will beat my baby when he or she cries when bring it over here??? They express their discomfort by crying...

So seriously speaking.... what can I do about this? She will want to come and "look" after the baby... she will claim that she has all the experience looking after babies and how can I say no??? And how will she look after the baby??? I have no idea... but I do have an idea that it will not be very effectively.... She does not use her mind for minor things and cannot use her mind for greater things.... So I do not know man.... The only other alternative will be to split my family apart till the time when my energizer rabit is no more... or at least in a home where she cannot cause and problems...

This will be a problem for other families too... With families becoming more nuclear... grandparents try to be more soft and complaint to their grandchildren and this spoils them. Spoiling a child will only do it no good.... I am saying to be mean to your child, but lets be realistic... if the child has everything his own way... or is allowed to do anything under the sun.... then how will you be able to rein this child in when it is time to?

Well gotta go for now.... cheers and byesssss... PEACE!

Shit man... doom is upon us... The sky is falling

Actually not just yet lah... But seriously we are all in pretty deep shit right now.... Banks are having trying times, companies are under stress and people are under pressure.... You may say what else is new, but this time round, the whole damn world is being affected. I guess that while times are good, no one really complains, but when times are bad, people do more than complain. You will see that crimes will increase in Sillypore this year and next as everyone starts to face the demon of joblessness and also of low economic growth. We did not have that much of a wooohooo!!! sort of growth, but at least it was growth.... Now if we do not shrink... we will be lucky.

I am not a nay-sayer... but the shit from the sub-prime mess has yet to fully hit us. Though banks are furiously writing off the bad debts, the new debts are still to be written off. Citibank will lay off 50,000 staff..... these guys may have some spare change left, but it may not be so... So these 50,000 people will be starting to feel very damn poor by next year.... If they cannot pay their credit cards, home mortgage or whatever.... the banks will have to go through another round of this year's shit.... It will be worse next year and everyone knows that.... Though my little energizer rabbit will say..."yea yea yea... times are bad"... but will she stop breaking my things at home? I don think so... but that being put aside... the thing is that if she knows that next year will be a bad year, then she better start to prepare for it man...

As for all other parts of this fair country... as the informed knows... the Casino's.... ooppsss I mean IR's may have a bit of problem.... It stems from cash flow problems... however, it also is because of the fact that I think that worldwide tourism will be affected. And this will again affect the bottom line of the IR. But in hindsight, the casino should actually be doing well. When times are bad, people will hope that a windfall will help them through and the windfall will be equal to the throw of a dice, bet of a chip and so on.... Come on.. admit it... how many of you buy Toto in the hope that they can strike the minimum of 600k each draw? 600k will help in many many many many many ways... and the bet is only $2.00 for the base bet.... but to help increase your chance... you will buy more right???

For me... I have not bought any 4D or toto for the past few months... I do not feel lucky.... In fact, I think I used up my luck in making the baby, so I am happy with that.... I also calculate that if I were to bet $10 on every draw, there being 5 draws each week, 2 for Toto and 3 for 4D, I will be spending $50 a week and in 1 yr, I will be spending at least $2,600 a year.... and who the hell only bets 10 lousy bucks on any game???? I would be lucky if I stopped at $50....So as you can see, when you use your brain to think about gambling, you will know that a windfall is just a windfall. But if you have to use money to get the windfall, then it defeats the purpose.

So for me, I will just play when the mood hits me and when I feel lucky... which I do not these few days.

Anyway, back to the topic of the world collapsing... or was it the sky.... the shit will be worse next year and that will be when my baby is born.... hmmmmm not sure if I can call it luck or fate or what man.... haizzzz don care lah... jus bear the baby and then we talk about how to bring it up...

But as the sun has risen for the past 4.5billion years, little energizer will want to come and "look after" the kid.... My dad in law once mentioned.... babies are so cute... but are so stupid because they do not understand you.... I think he hit a very good point... So old people want to "look after" babies because it makes them feel useful and also they are sure be smarter than the baby.....hhhmmmmmmm.... For energizer rabbit I will have my doubts man.... after all... if my kid takes after me... he or she will come out of the womb and say... "Yo man... get your hands off me... I'm cool....(to the doctor)... and to the nurse.... hey babe... wanna dance".

But if my kid is butt stupid... then there is no choice lah.... it is God's will.,...hehehehehe... So back to energizer rabbit..... I am seriously having my doubts liao....if she drops the kid and the kid becomes stupid... she will blame the alien that came out from the blue sky and spoke to her in Hebrew.... After all who else can she blame over there??? My wife??? She cannot be that stupid right?? But then.... she may be man.... I do remember that there was one time when she did something wrong in my kitchen... and I caught her on it... and she said she did not know who did it and it may have been my wife... yea right... my home is my kingdom and I run it my way.... even wifey has to follow my rules and my way.... so it cannot be her... How stupid does she think we all are??

But then seriously speaking... it is like being a kid... afraid of losing the love or being looked at in a bad way by someone she needs and therefore she will do anything to look like an angel.... That is why the knee jerk response is "I don't know... must have someone else... anyone else but me".... So I do understand and I do try not to show my frustrations... but times are bad and the sky is falling.... And the Gahmen is not doing anything to help.

I applaud the idea of creating a fund to assist elderly folk here.... It is true mah.... they have given you... Gahmen a lot in the past years... and were in fact the people who helped to bring Sillypore up.... So you must support them mah.... hint hint hint....

Ciaos and peace out for now....

WTF

I just had a really crummy weekend. In fact, it was quite crummy in the beginning, but that was a different story all together. Then yesterday, I woke up to find my energizer rabbit in the kitchen.... She mentioned that the air con remotes of both her room and the mahjong room were out of battery.... Ok lor... change battery lor.... I changed hers without any problems, then went into the mahjong room.....??? WTF??? WTbloodyF!!!??? The flap that opens and closes when you turn on the power was hanging loose and there was a clothes peg clipped to it...... Ohhhhhh shhhiiiiittttttttt.......

I changed the batteries to the remote and...... ooohhhhhh shhhhiiiittttt.... the LCD was very faint and even no matter where or how I pressed, it would not activate the air con..... so I took the one from her room and turned the air con on and it made an aweful noise...... the flap was not attached to the motor anymore.... So conclusion of the whole thing.... 1)... She being old and her mahjong khakis being old, must have been cold and then they tried to wrangle the stupid flap and it got detached from the motor. Don't know if I need to do any major repairs or just to re-attach it. Then comes the remote.... I shook it and it sounded like the cha cha thingys that bands have..... So what does that mean??? It must have been dropped so many times that it decided it would not work anymore... I do admit that my remotes do drop on the floor and this happens quite a few times... But then the thing is... you must try to be careful not to drop it lor....

So now where the bloody F am I gonna find a spare remote??? I am not angry because I have to spend money... but I am angry because the energizer rabbit just has to take some more responsibility for her own self... I wanted to ask... but then in the end before she even came up with an excuse... I just cut her off and told her forget it lah.. she will either say she does not know or that it is some friend who did it... As a part owner of the house, she should feel a bit more concern man.....

So the question will be that she does not want to admit that she has a problem and when approached about it, she again gets defensive and offensive... So I will only say one thing.... She is really getting on my nerves....

And the sad thing is that the gahmen is doing nothing to help us who are helping these elderly folks... They claim that it will be a problem in 30 years.... uuuhhhh it is a problem now man..... And when they said people are living longer... they did not also say that the longer living ones are actually quite literally out of their minds..... And the thing is there is still no support facilities.... Geriatric Psychiatry is still a domain of the IMH..... yeah... you just mention Woodbridge and you will see that no matter how crazy the old one is... he or she will run even faster away and also claim that they are not crazy... It is not being crazy... it is just that they need support and also help in understanding the problems they are facing and also support as to how to face it... Imagine... losing all powers and abilities... It is a scary thing... but it happens when you are suffering from dementia. Where are the facilities for such old people to go even for the daytime and find a new reason for life? Where are the counsellors and so on who are required to help these people on their end of life journey. I am only saying that as a normal adult who needs to worry about my own family and also my parents who are aged and having a bit of mental problems. But if the support structure is not there and my parents slide further down the slope, then the only choice will be to send my energizer rabbit to a home.... I am serious..... In fact, just think about it... If she can unknowingly put things on shelves where they can be broken or break things just like that, then when my little samurai comes to Sillypore and lives with me, she will come and she will want to look after it... Though my wife will be here looking after it full time... what will happen if she offers to bath the child and she scalds the child?? "It was some green man who came from a space ship and did it".... or some other excuse... and when she is caught with the lie... she will again get deffensive and offensive....

Also she will insist that we are not being good parents and so on just because we will not spoil the kid... In the end.... we will have mayhem... and who do we blame???? Who can we blame???

The Little Curry Puff in the Oven

As the weeks goes by, my child grows ever bigger.Now it is 2.4cm and as you can see, it is now looking more human than the previous pics I have uploaded.... hehehehe.... hope so man.....

I am still not sure if it will be a girl or boy, though by now the lottery of genetics would have already decided for us. Both ways also ok lah.... as I mentioned before, if it is a girl, she will be called Christina Komatsu Yeo Pei Sing, and if it is boy, I will call him Leon Komatsu Yeo Chin Leng or Long.... But since it is a girl... I think we will just settle for Christina.... hehehehe...

How come I am so convinced that it is a girl??? Firstly because of my age.... Guys who are older tend to produce more girls than boys.... Seems like the *ahem**ahem* carries either an X or Y chromosome and the X which will result in a girl is slightly more lasting.....

I also keep dreaming that it is a girl.... and so did my wife.... And a lot of other people have also said that it should be a girl..... Even my darling Energiser Rabbit also claims she can see the future and says that it is a girl... however... her words are now never based on fact and her gut feeling...(gut already so old and not really functioning liao) is not to be really relied on too.hehehehehe

But I will be damned surprised... though in a good way if it turns out to be a boy.... I only hope that for all the evils that I have done in all my life.... the worst case scenario... which is a girl coming out thinking that she is a boy or a boy coming out and thinking that he is a she does not happen..... Of course the next thing is that the child is safe and healthy.... Like I mentioned before, the expected date of birth is in mid June in the year of the Bull....(ooooohhh boy.... a realy stubborn child man)... but my worst fear is wifey calling me up around March and saying that she is going into labour.... That will be really stinky as most flights to Japan will be around 1am the next morning.... and I will have to transfer to the domestic terminal to take another flight to Akita City.... So that will take most of the whole day... if I am lucky enough to get a flight out.... The worst will be to transit here and there just to get to my wife's side..... No matter how long the birth will be... it should be over by then..... and if she were really an evil person.. she could get the nurse to show me another kid and I will be crying my eyes out at the sight of a kid that is not mine...... hmmmmm DNA tests are in order.... hahahahahaha

Why I have that fear? I was pre-mature too.... I am not sure if it runs in the family... but if it does.... Oh.... boy.....And I cannot afford such a long leave to anticipate a pre-mature birth too. I will be by her side about 2 weeks before the ETB and 1 month after the ETB to help her and her parents adjust.... Better lah... if not mother-in-law will be holding placards saying "Go home".

But anyway.... the baby is growing pretty much on target and wifey is also healthy and that is most important....

Life is strange

You know..... in Sillypore, people do not care or bother about other people.... They only care about themselves.... But the big problem is that if they do not care about others.... how can they ask others to care about them..... Case in point... this morning, I was on my way to work.... I was near my workplace.... and there was a zebra crossing.... There were 2 ladies who were taking forever to cross the crossing.... It is a single lane road... U do not need 3 minutes to cross it....!!! But they were chatting and not caring about others and so I gave them a short beep on my horn.... My horn is kinda weak tho I drive a wonderful car.... Maybe I should change to those big asse air horns that will scare the 7 spirits from a person's body and jus give them a blast. Instead of hurrying up... they jus stared at me.... Wah liao eh... u own the road is it? Just like the other time also, a young lady was crossing a traffic crossing... the light was blinking... and she was talking on her handphone... so I gave her a beep and she has the balls.... ooopppsss.... ladies do not have balls.... to ask..."What??? Not red yet what!!??" If I were to run her down there and then.... can I ask "What???!!!! Green liao mah!!??" Give and take lah..... you do not want people to abise your kindness.. then don abuse others lah shit for brains....... If it were a guy... I'd probably inch closer and see if I can bump him.... no loss to me mah....

But seriously..... I am an ABCD....... don know wat it is??? No... it is not like the typical ABC... which stands for American Born Chinese... who speak which the strange American accent..... I am an Ah Beng Car Driver.... hahahahahahahahaha..... Having an evo... I turn it to look like a Lancer... and now with a big ass and one of the loudest aftermarket exhaust systems.... It is so Beng..... hahahahahahahahaha

But I try not to be an Ah Beng.... To be truthfull.... I have nothing against them..... I have been living continuously for over 10 yrs.... in Aus and in Japan... and yet I come back and speak all my lahs and all my singlish.... I hate people speaking with a fake accent..... I prefer to be normal, speak normal and live normally..... But then it will kill me if my children were to live here and speak with singlish..... It will break my heart... after all, they are half Japanese and imagine them speaking lah here lah there..... Aiyoooooo

Anyway.... Just a warning to those out there hor.... if you do not cross your road fast fast... and if you see and Ah Beng'ed out Evo black colour... u better vocer your ears.... If I get pissed off enough... I will add an air horn and blast you off man......


Peace and cheers out

Damn tired man

This is a pic of my "it" (since I do not know if it is a boy or girl yet) taken 2 weeks ago while I was in Zurich..... It was now 1.1cm and still growing.... It is miraculous that it grew almost twice its size in a week because the week before, it was only 3.7mm.... Dats really bloody small man..... I even have prostate stones bigger den dat man..... hehehehe.... gud idea.... if my wife bitches that we men do not know how it feels like to be pregnant.... I can say..... I do.... I had a stone about 1cm in my bloody prostate..... I will not say gonads because I am not ever sure where the bloody hell those are but I think they are in the same place....And if she complaims that we do not know how painful it is to give birth.... I can also say.... I do.... I jus pee'd out a stone the size of Mt Fuji before I went to Japan in Sep.




As you can see..... its not a small piece of thingy man... and it came out of the pee-hole..... (Sorry to be crude hor...please don censor me hor....ooops I mean censure)

Anyway, seriously though, a guy will never know how it feels to have a kid... but nowadays... many fathers are taking more effort in helping the wife to look after the kid..... They used to be running away with the excuse of having to work, but now, they are actually staying at home to help..... For me.... I will be buying a NBC (nuclear, biological, chemical) suit..... Imagine when the baby poops and you are faced with a chemical or biological disaster!!!! Help you wife change the diaper, wipe the butt of YOUR kid, talcum powder it and then replace the diaper without gagging or throwing up and looking green... Your wife does it mahh.... We are just pussies and so will do it within the comfort of an NBC suit..... hehehehehe....

In Japan there are actually paper masks that have inserts that you can insert pads with scent infused.....ooooohhhh.... idea.... no need NBC suit lah.... hahahaha...


Anyway, now it is a great guess as to whether my child will be a boy or a girl.... For me it is the same any and either way..... as long as it does not come out as a boy/girl or girl/boy..... Or worse still.... a boy who thinks he is a girl or a girl who thinks he is a boy...... But then seriously speaking, we cannot control what we have any also have to accept what we get.... So I am prepared lah.... I came across this add on the internet.... it was about how a baby girl was born and the father promised to love her and take care of her for life.... I think that it is some sort of add for teen pregnancy... but the story goes that the girl grew up... got pregnant and the father was about to bash the shit out of her when he remembered his promise and so on and stopped..... Well.... what can I say.... We cannot choose our children as much as children cannot choose their parents.... So when you are strapped with your own version of my energizer rabit.... you may want to bash the shit out of the rabbit, but no choice lah... just let them be lah.....

Just like dis weekend on Sat... I brought the energizer out.... we had a good talk.... She said... "If I have cancer... I do not want anymore treatment...(phhffft!! yea right.... !!!) But then if you start to think about it.... if she really doesn't care anymore, then why the hell is she still seeing the stupid geriatric dr every month or so.... has liver test... blood test and all the blah and keeps moaning about it? If you don wanna have treatment, den don go for the tests lah.... haiyoooo.... waste money only..... brains don know growing where man..... say one thing... do another and so on...

Anyway..... cool down cool down.... if not then my child will really come out and have a really aggro'd dad man.... hehehehehe

Cheers and peace out!!!

Trouble trouble toils and bubble tea

As you can see from the title, life is pretty interesting. For me, no matter what happens in life, I always look at the positive side and feel better. My little nephew was just diagnosed with a cyst or something like dat in his brain.... It is impacting on a blood vessel or something like dat. You should see it feels liek s**t and sad when you hear of one so young having a problem.... and it is also no joke. But then having actually gone through the same problem before, I would say that in life, we will always face problems, be they big or small. But then the most important thing is that as a parent, we must always put a strong face in front of the children, we must not break down. I saw my mom and sis crying like as though the kid was dead or dying and I really worried if the kid would not be permanently scarred.... Hey kids do have pretty damn good memories and they will remember in future hor..... I still remember my parents in Tokyo tower when I was 5 and they were arguing about whether to enter or not. Mom wanted to go, but me and sis were there and we would be scared until our shit turned green..... So what did my parents with great iq's do? They turned us to the back and carried us in.......

Oi.......

Same problem from a different angle..... But back to the serious talk.... For me.... like I mentioned before, everything has a time and a place.... My wife went to the sensei to get treatment.... Everyone here freaked out.... Of course wifey was smart and I also told her a great number of times, no pressing of the body.... But to be truthful, if she did anything stupid and she lost the baby, so be it lor.... We try to make another one lor..... At least we can make babies mah....

Life is like that, it is full of hardship and also full of pain... it is just how to handle the hardship and pain.... For me, when I heard that I had a tumour,(in fact 2), I just asked the doctor what was the best course of action. Even the GP who sent me to the neurologist called me to give me comfort, but I was ok..... Tumour only mah..... as long as it does not grow bigger.... and two some more!!!... My ex girlfriend of that time asked if I was going to die some more.... choi choi choi!!!!

But it is true lah..... we are lucky to have found it out in the little kid and now we can make changes to his lifestyle to ensure that he is ok. It is far better that the little monster keeling over and dying den we find out right? Think positive lah...

Now comes the bitching part.... If the kid had something terminal and needed an operation, it would cost at least 20k...... how to find enough money and to pay for it? As a kid, you want to give him all the chances of living mah..... Not like my little Energizer rabit who keeps going on and on and on.... She keeps visiting the hospital every month, bragging that she will undergo this test and that test and it will cost so much..... uhhh... hello.... not being a bad son... but imagine spending over 300-400 a month on medical and tests.... What happens if there is really something wrong? She wants to go because she does not want to die.... But then the oxy-moron is that if she is found with something serious.... then how? At 70 plus, she will be going on to 80 and maybe even 90.... energizer mah.... ever-ready would have gone kaput by now. Would you do chemo on a 70yr old? He or she would be having such a shitting bad quality of life.... And would be feeling so bloody bad..... And treatment will probably allow you another 5-10 years.... Non treatment depending on disease will be 3-4years? Natural life is 8-10 yrs? So you see... sometimes the financials of things and also the point of treatment is very important. If she gets treatment and she responds and is happy, she is ok.... but she is not and her Alzheimers is getting worse.

Haizzzzzzz.... I really think I need a bubble tea liao.......

Back from another trip

I just got back from Switzerland this weekend. Man I have been tavelling too much and am now too damn tired. And my cough is not much better man. Its been almost 4 months, but then considering the other medical problems I have been having, I think that it is not much of an issue.... only an irritation.

It snowed while I was there in Zurich... which is damned strange.... People think global warming is a myth, but it is staring straight at us right now. Most of us will think that it is some other person's problem, but it is actually our own and also our children and their children.

But talking about children, having one is not cheap man.... even while it is inside the body, it is already costing me plenty of money.... the hospital visits, the supplements and so on... all are things that cost money... then you bear the child.... hospital and doctor fees too.... Depending on a C Section, Epidural or natural birth... again all the money is to be factored in. The most expensive will be of course a C Section.

Then bringing up the child is another cost... Education, transport... allowance and so on.... And if the child is not too bright... tuition and so on..... So how on earth does the gahmen think we can afford to bring up or even to have children??? They put it so easily... have more children... it is good... but lets look at it this way lah... it is not cheap..... and they are not giving us much help to bring up our children.

It is just like the movie SICKO by Michael Moore, the famous director of Lord of the Rings and also Ferenheit 9/11.... He may take a very dim view of the Bush administration, however in Sicko, he took a very dim view of the health insurance scheme of the US. And I draw some very sad but realistic references to our own system. In the US, most people have to buy health insurance in order to be assured a good quality of treatment. We too have to pay for health insurance to ensure that if we fall seriously ill, we are covered. But insurance companies will always try to find ways of not paying for something. That is their business. So no matter how well you are covered, you may not be covered.... and that is the truth..... Since this is the case, then we truly have to worry about how to get enough money to pay for treatments if we do fall ill.... If we need to get dialysis, we need to pay about 1k a month.... It is also the same for cancer treatments..... That does not cover any surgery or so on....

So now the question is to how to pay for something if you do not have the money??? Don't have it? The gahmen promises that we will get the most basic of care.... but if we go for a means test, will we be able to fall into the criteria of being able to enjoy a subsidy.

So ladies and gentlemen..... we are all screwed....

A Proud but confused Dad

This is a ultra sound pic of my little baby in my wifey's womb....3.7mm..... If you think about it.... dats damned small.... But it still never ceases to amaze me lor.... how we can produce life like dat.... It is a miracle.... esp after having gone through so much trouble, time and cost.....

But seriously... after my first sight of the little thing... it has made me change a lot of things I do and also take for granted..... I used to be a bit of an idiot especially when I am driving.... Now this idiot refuses to be pushed and is so careful when driving I think I better put on a "P" plate.... I guess that now the fact has hit.... the fact has dawned and I have to make sure that I stay around to look after the "it" till at least it is big enough..... Although I do not know when I old enough.... I know of some 30yr olds who are still recieveing money from their parents..... (thoughtful quietness..... turned into cold hard fear... what happens if my child also like dis?)

Well, the thing is we never know what the future will bring.... But as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, the future will come.... So now is the time to build that future.....

I am supposed to be by her side...but I "love" my job too much.... I do not know why guys take it as a time to have fun and or to go out with other ladies.... Maybe it is because they feel that for the next 9 mths... they will not be getting any so they are "itchy".... Well guys... u are married.... if u want any "nooky", you have to be nice to your wife and love her in the way she wants to.... and she will give you all the nooky or honey you want.... It is the same here mah..... my honey is still as sweet as the day we married and even before man.... And if I have to wait 9mths... I will do so man......

Well gotta go for now... will be overseas again for the whole of next week... I love my job too much man......

Hmmmmmmm

Sori lah hor.... but today's topic will be baby again.... hehehehe.... not interested then switch off lor...

The first pic you see is a pic of a baby in the womb at 4 weeks.... No lah silly... it is not a pic of my baby lah.

The second pic is a picture of what the baby will look like in 4 years... if it does not change into a human being....



Hehehehehe.... a few people that I have shown it to have actually been pretty chuffed about it... But stoooopppiiiid mom sorta did not have any reaction whatsoever.... Which is sorta expected lah... since her mind may not be working too well.,... But seriously, now she is asking to go and see my wife... while a week back she was saying that she did not want to waste money.... My question is this... the last time when she went to Japan with me... she fainted on the flight there.... and all she did was to eat sleep and eat and sleep again.... She can read or speak Japanese.... She will be staying at a hotel and not in our home.... So she will cost me money and also time... I will be there to make sure my wife is comfortable and doing well, I do not have the time to look after 2 people..... She may claim that she is low maintenance... but my previous experience has proven truly the opposite... I do understand why she wants to go... but the reality of the situation may not allow it.... Lets face it.... eat sleep and eat sleep..... What help can she do? And we will have to buy double of what we usually buy just to allow her to eat and sleep.

Anyway.... back to the real baby.... I think that it will be 1 mth old in the womb on the 19th or 20th.... How I know is because those are the possible conception dates..... I will also admit that I was too lazy to do anything on any other dates too... hahahahaha... It was basically... "Time of month ah? Okay open wide.... come to daddy... and job done in 5 minutes" hahahahaha... Tired and old lah.... If that is the case... the scary thing is that there are only 8 mths left... Shit man... scary man..... Imagine... late June will be the birth date.... The child will be a little samurai cow or bull.... Oi oi oi oi,...... End of the year, which is coming soon will leave me only 6 months..... But the sad things is that we have not even told her parents about it yet.... Because my mom-in-law is virtually going on strike with the sis-in-law's baby.... She is virtually hanging signs saying "Go Home....Get Out!!!" I think that it is because the sis and husband are still young and so not know that the parents also need their space and peace.... And if they want to be around, then they will have to contribute as much as they can.

So as you can see, it is not all fun and games... like some other little babies think... Everything in life has some form of hardship to go along. So we must be careful and also be thoughtful of everything we do and want.....

Mumble and grumble

We Sillyporeans love to moan and groan.... and it is the same with me... If I did not like to moan, then I would most probably not have this blog.... But seriously speaking, last night the full implications of my wifey being pregnant hit me like a ton of bricks..... In fact, it hit me twice and both times.... hard.... hehehehe

The first brick or tonnes of bricks was actually the fact that we created life and that we would be parents really soon. Our un-born child is almost a month old.... Calculating back to the only possible days of recent conception. Oooooooohhh responsibility time man.... Will it, (I am using it because I am still not sure of its sex... though I am pretty convenced it will be a she) come out okay and healthy? Will I be a good dad??? And I just bought a shit expensive car.... so I am truly up shit creek without a shitting paddle!!!!! But seriously a lot of worries just popped into my mind.... Doommmm on me.... Ooooohhh Shiiiitttttt.....paddle paddle... yucks yucks....

Then after settling the worries of the first ton of bricks... came the second ton..... how to look after wife and make sure that she is ok when she is so far away and she cannot travel now? She will have to go to the doctors by herself.. get herself tested and so on by herself... I do pity her man.... I would like to fly to her and be with her and look after her as this will be coming into the second month of her pregnancy soon.... hmmmmmm... well maybe as soon as I finish my flying schedule, I'll take a break and go.

Ladies and gentlemen, seriously speaking, the reason why our birth rates are so low is that it is a daunting experience....

Doom on me...Positive!!!

My wife as I mentioned... has been late.... She did a pregnanc test today and the kit says...."Positive".... I am happy and should be happy... but then... as I mentioned a few blogs ago... I also have very mixed feelings.
I have told her that the 2 batched of ahem ahem that I have put into the bank, to just get rid of 1 and to keep the other. I am not sure if 3 years down the road I will be able to produce anymore ahem ahems.

At least the cost will be not so bad s I will only be keepin 1 set of ahems.

But then she will need money to give birth and so on... so we need money... much much more money... which mean no more modding of cars.... Think I still need a new set of exhaust... hahahahahahaha.

Anyway, back to the story of the pregnancy.... Man I will have plenty of stories to tell my kids... I jus wish dat my dad was here to see all these happenings. I also wonder how come guys are always looking for other char bors.... I have discussed this topic till blue.... Now with wife being pregnant... I lagi don wanna look at other char bor already.

For me, I think the most important thing is not the bodily fluid exchange part of the relationship, but rather the feeling of being wanted or needed. This is actually an ego trip rather than anything else. Sometimes it is not the fluid thing, but is also a feeling thing. Now, this is more dangerous in my opinion. I have had the experience once in my life before. If I mention scandal to my wifey, she will know who it is as I shared with her everything about my past. This scandal is actually a lady who worked in my Thai company. She is tall and beautiful and she liked me. I also liked her a lot. But then she was a staff and I was a boss and for this and only this reason, I never approached her for anything. I am not in favour of office romance as one should think about the company first. She wanted to quit the company, perhaps so that she could try to win my heart, but once unfortunately at that time I was already attached and I told her to forget it.

Any other guy would have had her for lunch dinner and supper and then decided if he were to drop her or not.. However, I am not that type of guy... Which is why I am still damn Pissed O** when I made the joke about being a father to a son in Thailand, even my own family thought I had been naughty and that I made someone pregnant.... Haizzzz o yea of little faith.... hehehehehe

Daily status report

Hmmmmm.... my wife still has not had her time of the month and by this I do not mean the party time and so on..... so the chances of her being pregnant is getting higher.... She will test on Wed, though I was trying to get her to test on Sat or Sun or Mon or any other day other than Wed, but it is up to her.

For me, I will just be glad to have a child because I guess that it is the natural thing for a family. And the sooner, the better.... I am getting older liao...

Talking about old, a really young and interesting lady actually came into my life this weekend.... Oh ye of little faith.... Do not think that I am getting itchy or something like dat hor.... I am not that sort of guy.

She was working in the clinic I always go to and we just exchanged contacts.... That is all.... Most guys I admit will be looking for ways of getting some ahem ahem beep beep, but for me... I am not that sort of guy... For me beep and ahems are all over liao.... Perhaps did too much of it while I was younger.... I am now a one woman man.... But sad to say, not many Sillypore men are like this... Or to put it bluntly... not many men are like this.... The reason is because men are wired differently from women..... Women talk about emotions, men talk about ahem....

Woman do not give themselves to men easily... men want to have as many women as they can.... perhaps we were hardwired for that.... But ego is also a very important reason I think... What is enough? When is it enough? Be it money or honey... When will it be enough? My fren Nopp said that wen it comes to money and honey... it is never enough.... But you see, it takes a lot of discipline and self control to say that enough is enough... Some people will say that I am an idiot... but let me be the idiot... however at least I am standing on moral high ground.... and when I die.... I have one thing less afraid of answering to. hehehehe

I must say that perhaps another reason why I am taking a very high moral stance is because of perhaps the experience I had..... There was once in Aus, when I innocently asked this girl to come back to my place.... and something happened and she thought that we were going steady after a one night stand.... That sort of made me think that it is not as easy as that to have one night stands..... and then something else happened in Japan. A high school girl who I brought out for dinner and movies....(and nothing happened at all hor... no contact.... no nothing hor!!!)... she also went over the deep end and thought that I was crazy for her and she was crazy for me.... ended up stalking me for almost half a year... leaving things at my doorsteps... calling me constantly and so on... Some guys may think... waaaahh shiok.. got college girls going ga ga for u.... must makan leh.... but then they obviously forgot about the show "Dangerous Liason" or "Fatal Instinct".... Shakespeare said... "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"....

So seriously lor..... I may be a normal guy and may also have normal urges... but I think with my brain.... not my other head....That head I have decided does not make any gud decisions hahahahahaha.. Perhaps I think too much and sometimes think too much into something that does not need to be thought. But then it is better to think rather den not and get into trouble.

So now I have a wife... who is loving and is beautiful and who may be pregnant... so why do anything to endanger it? Maybe when she grows old and ugly then I will reconsider lah.... hehehehe... in your dreams... beauty is not physical... but from the heart... that is the only beauty I look for in a human.

Interesting another "hmmm" day

Man it is getting interesting as everyday that wifey has not had her "time of the month" is a day closer to a chance that she is pregnant..... However.... that ding bat told me that she was late for a whole month once..... You should have heard all the expletives coming out from the golden mouth then.... hehehehe But she will go for a pregnancy test on Sun if she is still late.....

I do hope that she does get pregnant lah.... At least we do not have to waste money on IVF this time round and just either keep the ahem ahem till the next round or try again the next round. Or if God and whichever entity smiles upon me, I will get stereo sound system with Dolby Sound Base this time.... But twins do not run in my family so I will demand a DNA test..... Seriously.... I do not believe that the higher beings and entities are so nice to me.... If they were... I'd be taller, more handsome and richer.... hahahahahaha.... Perhaps my dad would have bought me an evo before I went for NS too... jhahahahahahahahahahaa

Anyway, just joking about not believing. I do believe, but not too religiously... I pray to my Buddhas and dad twice a day and change the tea everyday. People ask me why I do it and I say that it makes me feel calm... And although I could not do anything for my dad, at least I am doing it now.

As for being taller and more handsome... it does not matter lah.... I may have said this before, but it is a rather good defense mechanism.... This is because only the false look at the surface.... A good friend lies beneath.... So if someone brushes me off just because of my looks, then it is a sign of how shallow the person is and will only be to my advantage.

But nowadays, most SG gers are also not stupid.... Perhaps a lot of them are still stuck with the material things and also the financial things, however, things are changing. (I hope!!) Seriously, there are still some char bor who will go out with a loser just because he is rich or drives a nice car or some other flashy show off thingy.... But like I have mentioned many times before.... all show and no go also no use...

For me, I drive a very down to earth car (fingers crossed and face all blue from lying).... It is fast and also powderful, but it does not really show it. I also try to drive as "normally" as I can.... Guess it is because the damned fuel prices are still so damned high and also the other prices are really unimaginable now.... I really pity the low income earner as he is well and truly screwed!

I also do not care if someone were to comment that I have a nice car as it does not matter what car a person drives or what colour his credit cards are and so on.... It matters what sort of heart you have and the type of person you are. Like I mentioned to wifey.... I do not want to leave money or assets behind... I want to leave a name behind... I want all who come to my funeral to say... "He was a great man!!!" Not..."what and assehole.... thank god he is dead"

It is actually something I am proud of... Even Naz... a very new friend said that I was not a sleazoid like other married men.... Which makes my blood boil because being married is a great honour... It means someone is willing to marry you and to be with you for the rest of your life.... unless you are married to a certain type of lady from a certain country where they are more apt of killing you off once they have collected their Sillyporean passports.

But seriously though, I am happy with what I have and it shows.... I have a beautiful wife who looks after me and I am proud to show off to all. Even if she is old and haggard, she will still have pride because she is a good wife... How many Sillypore char bors can cook, wash and iron??? And yet work at the same time? So who will be stupid enough to put that at stake? Even if someone more beautiful comes along, will this someone be able to give you the full package?

I really do not understand how come some people can take relationships so lightly? Or how some people can actually like to go and find other loves? My only loves are my car...oooopsss... I mean wife.... car and astro photography..... not necessarily in that order hor.... hehehehehehee

Anyways, gotta runs now... so will ramble on later.... ciaossssss

Hmmmmmmm

Exactly as the heading goes... I am in a sorta confused state. Wifey is supposed to be having her time of the month (I do not mean party hor) yesterday... She is late.... So what that can mean is .... she is late?? or that our efforts at natural conception was successful.... So here comes the hmmmmmmm....

After all the pain and cost... if she gets pregnant now... it is all wasted.... My efforts to produce the ahem ahem.... not exactly wasted.. however... its gonna cost to keep them till the next round.... And since I have 2 batched... it will cost me double..... Now the next hmmmmm.... my super chicken wife who does not even have the guts to pierce her ears will be so scared of the pain that she will not want a second child... so my dreams of stereo dolby sound twins is more or less down the drain and I will have to console myself with just one child... hmmmmm

But I am always positive and I guess that is where my strength is.... So no matter what comes... even if it is a false alarm... there is no harm.... Even if I only have mono sound... it is also ok.... As long as we bring up the kid and take of care it.... I am using it because I am not sure if she is really pregnant... and also which sex the child will be.... I just hope that for all the evils I have done till date, I have a child which can be properly sexed and or has no other major dysfunction.

I do have a feeling that I will have girls tho.... I do not have anything against girls... but then you have to worry a lot more for them... The cost will be the same... Clothes.. Handphones... Evo's..... But then you will worry more about girls.... A guy goes out and has a girlfriend... A dad will be pleased and proud.... some may even want to have the son's girlfriend... But a girl goes out and has a boyfriend.... Most dads will stand at the front foor with a shotgun or parang....

I will teach my kid or hopefully kids to be independant and to look after themselves... This is the only thing I can do for them as a parent.... To give them Evo's is out of the question.... hehehehehehe


Will keep you posted as and when I have the time....

Cheers and Peace out

I am a father!!!!

I just discovered yesterday that I have a son in Thailand..... Oooooohhhhh you and so many other people will say... "What have you done!!!!" It was only my beloved wife M who saw through my statement immediately and asked if Nop had a son liao... Oh ye of so little faith... Of course lah... I have been sprouting so long and so much about being a good man and father and you all can think of something wierd!!!!

So now my sis-in-law has a son, my best friend in Thailand has a son... I am really under pressure liao.... Fortunately for me, I am already starting my IVF cycle and wifey will undergo her treatment next month.... Hehehe so hopefully by latest Dec, I will post here and say that I am an expectant father.

But although everybody seems to be giving birth to males.... I have a certain feeling that my stereo sound system will be girls.... It will be cute... but they will still be girls.... No real matter lah... for me... as long as the children grow up to be valuable members of society, it is all the same to me. No real need to carry family names and so on.

Actually this brings me to some rather depressing thoughts. If I have a son, he will have to serve army or NS. And it seems like recently, a few guys have dropped dead literally. Imagine... You bring your son up till 20, perhaps some idiot parents may have given their sons high performance cars.... and then they go into NS and drop dead!!! Hehehehe... your son's evo how ah???

But then it goes into mind that how come people are dying from a little exercise? In my times, it was even harder in NS!!!! (bloody children lah... drive evo and live good life... have a bit of exercise and drop dead lor)Some more most of our children also do not spend as much time as us outside. We did not have PC, TV, or even Playstations so had to make do with our naughty little minds and come up with games.

However I must also stress that in NS, like in any other organisations, there will be a stress on achieving high honors for the battalion and unit and so on. So there will of course be emphasis on physical and job proficiency. And because the gahmen does pamper "scholars". So once these really high IQ but not necessarily high EQ people come in, they know that they are on the fast track, however, they still want to make a name for themselves so they push their guys even harder.

So that is the problem lor ladies and gentlemen... Spoil your kids.... face the future.... A spoilt brat will come back to haunt you in many ways.


Cheers,

Doing your bit for society

I will be buying some groceries and then donating them to an old folks home on Saturday. I will be doing this with 2 frens W-13Bee and also An. You may ask, how come? Did I do something wrong and want to "cleanse" myself? Naaaahhhh.... No such luck lah... I am an old man who can't be bothered to do anything much nowadays.

I have always been wanting to do my bit for society and I guess that one way is to ensure that the old are comfortable and also have some nice things to eat. They are our society's pioneer batch, those who are now qualified to go into the old folks home will be those who are 65 and above... They survived the war and brought all of us closer to the place we are now at. Some may be put in a home because they are demented and are unable to look after themselves, some are there because their children cannot look after them or they have health problems. In some ways, I would hope that the State makes more effort to look after them as this problem will increase over time. Our batch or 40 plusses will be looking at such facitlities in the near future man..... (That is if we are not lucky enough to have knocked off... kicked the bucket or died by then).

Most of them are really very poor things. Even an Alzheimer patient will have some times when they are lucid and they will feel a great sense of sadness and lonelines when they realize that they are not with their children. However, sometimes, it is better to put them in a home where they can be supervised. At Stage 5 of the 7 Stages of Alzheimer, they are already quite unable to lead normal lives, with memory and cognitive functions severely affected. This means they may wander off and not be able to find their way back home, not even know if they are eating food or rubbish and so on. There was a guy in Japan who used glue in trying to stop his feet from itching. That was because the reasoning part of his brain was dysfunctional and it registered a tube of glue as looking like insect ointment and the higher function or master brain was unable to recognise the fault in the reasoning. This is also the same with eating rubbish, because it looks like food and so it should therefore be food. Alzheimers is not just being forgetful, it is not just becoming a child.... these symptoms are just the start. It gets worse for the care-giver and also the sufferer. And if they sufferer is unaware, he or she is still lucky. He or she will slip into the deep realms of dementia and not realize it. If he or she is aware, then he or she will suffer a living death sentence. They will know that one day, their brains will cease to function and they will become vegetables. And ultimately, the brains will be so affected that it will shut down and with the all other bodily functions. Experts say that the pain will go away.... as the brain stops functioning, the pain will disappear... But what about the care-givers?

Of course.... if you brought your child up as an idiotic self centred A-hole.... then do not be worried that they will be your care-giver when you are old.... it will be off to the old folks home at the earliest sign and then they will jus visit you when it is at their convenience. So if you are about to give your child an Evo for his first car.... or the latest handphone when he or she is only 12.... you better start calling up the various homes and make an appointment and start to pay for your stay there while you still can.

But for those who really cannot help it, then it is suffering from both ends while the patient is still lucid... It may stop for the sufferer because he or she will not even be able to form a thought one day... But for those who live on.... they will forever be wrought with the question of whether they did the right thing, was it right to make the parent "suffer" and so on.

But the question is ..... and this is the important part hor ladies and gentlemen... what will the government do for us? They have already admitted that old age related problems inclusive of dementia and so on will rise. Will the care facilities be increased? Will the cost be subsidised?

In the long long past in Japan, they brought old folks to the forest so that the old folks can live and die in peace..... We do not have any forests.... and it is expensive no matter whether you put them in a home or at your own home.... The care will be intensive as you have to be on constant watch and also to ensure that they do not wander and or eat anything they are not supposed to.... In the end... the parent might even be angry in the beginning as they do not know they are slipping.

But anyway..... no matter what, whether it is my darling energizer rabbit or some other old person, they have all served our country and society and so I would like to give back something to them.... So I will be donating food and things like dat.... not money.... that is the loser's way out.... And they worse will also be those who buy coupons.... as this will only allow the home to purchase from the store the coupon is bought from.

Hope that more people will join me and please please stop spoiling your children or you might as well book a place now hor.... I'm serious hor.

Back from a hard break

Hi Ho!!! I am back..... Did you miss me? Well it does not really matter as the inscription already says.... These are the ramblings of an old and tired man.

I was in Japan for the last 3 weeks. Both for work and also a bit of R&R. But then when in Japan, my R&R equals to a lot or work in the home front. Anyway, I managed to go back to my wife's hometown in little sleepy town of Akita. The nights were sometimes so clear that you could literally see thousands of stars if you looked hard enough. And I managed to see Jupiter through my small scope. Though it was only a small ball, but if you thought about it, the huge planet is a couple of millions of km away and with the naked eye, we see only a star!!!

It seems like the land has a dragon spirit there and my dad-in-law had a shrine built there. But my wife called it a snake spirit. And as you may well know, we are trying to make babies and so thinking it was a snake spirit, we went to pray there. But snake or dragon, it all does not matter as long as the spirit helps us and the family.

It actually did help if I am not wrong.... but it has to be confirmed. The story is that I was supposed to go to Osaka and start IVF treatment with my wife. So the guy gets the easy part... or the hard part.... The easy part is just having to give ehem ehem certain bodily fluids which will then be used to fertilize eggs to be placed back into the womb.... easy right? The hard part is that I actually have to pay for the damn treatment!!!!....

Anyway.... either because of the clinic's need for more money or whatever, the first try to freeze my ehem ehem... they said that the count was low.....hmmmmmmm.... a strapping young lad like me having low ahem ahem????? That means I can have many lady frens.... ahem ahem with them without the need for rubbers and not be afraid of getting them pregnant.....ok.... all you ladies out there... if any of you want to come and present a child to me and say that it is my child... be prepared to have to undergo mandatory DNA testing hor..... anyway.... so back to my ahem ehem story.....

So the next test was done and it was low also..... hmmmm beggining to be worried man.... But then we went back to the in-law's place..... did a lot of prayers in a lot of places and when we came back and tested.... it was normal.... chey.... how come like dat.... (That is also why I am demanding a recount...hahahahahaha)

So now it will be up to wifey to have her eggs taken out through a natural cycle and then after 2 cycles.... to have the eggs matched with ahem ehem and to have them fertilized. Once the feotus is formed.. it will be returned back to the womb and we will have stereo sound system with dolby sound effects and drive my mom-in-law crazy..... She already stamped her foot down and said "No stereo sound... much less dolby!!!" "Please have one child at a time"..... tooo bad babe.... I am the daddy and I say "whose your mama!!!" So it is decided that wifey will try for 2 at the same time and we will have 2 at the same time.... I also had to wrangle the dr to put 2 in because according to her... Japan prefers to insert only 1 at a time.. Screw you man... me want stereo sound with dolby man!!!

So I told her a lot of stories and a lot of reasons and she agreed that she will insert 2 feotus for me..... Take that man mom-in-law... Stereo sound baaaabbbbbyyyyyy

But seriously though, I was just wondering how come my ahem ehem was so low.... Was it because of my age.... lack of being naughty or just naturally? But it was true that I was under heavy medication during the first 2 test.... Anti biotics and other meds.... The dr that I always go to has a habbit of giving meds that are so powderful that it can kill a horse.... The good thing about it is that it cures me faster.... but the bad thing is that it really does hit you....

I am also adding a pic of my new nephew... His name is Sawada-Ishi Ibuki. Just 2 months old and a real drool machine... I mean drool machine not as in he is handsome or cool... he just drools..... hehehehehehe

Cheers and peace out for now.

A long time away

I got my new car liao.... And I am very very happy wif it.Although I will be deep in debt till the later part of my life, the car is really very smooth and nice to drive. And when the devil in me comes out, I still have the power to be a devil in the roads.

I have taken out all the badges.... so it does not say Evo or whatever. I have also made effort to seem like a normal Lancer Ex. It does not matter if anyone knows if I am driving an Evo or Ex. I know and I am happy. Some people are pretty distracted when small little boys modify their cars either in performance or in looks to follow the Evo, but for me, I feel that they can jolly well do what they want. It does not matter to me at all.

Some people say that they can buy a much cheaper car and then modify and they will have an end result that is sometimes better than the real thing. In a way I do agree, if you have heap loads of cash and the mechanic is good enough, even a Hyundai Accent can take on a monster on the road. But then how much would the Hyundai have to spend? How safe will it be? And the next question is... basically not many normal ding dongs have money anyway. So our cars are bought with loans and so on. So even if we buy a cheap car, the savings we make instead of buying a monster is not in cash. It is in terms of paying less for the loans every month. But you still do not have the money to mod. It is true dat if you had the cash, you can buy and improve, but if you did not, then you still stuck up shit creek without a bloody paddle.

Now I am shit creek, but the paddle is damn shiok. I press the accelerator and by the time I am at 4000 rpm, I am already in 5th gear and doing 80km/hr. And how many normal cars can do that? How much u need to spend to mod your car to be like mine?

So that is why ladies and gentlemen, I do not mind others trying to pretend to be an Evo. When you are already driving an Evo, you know that you are driving the dreams of many 30'ish guys out there and the dream date of many young ladies... But sori hor.... I am already married and I am not gonna be too cheong when it comes to my car.... I am already paying too bloody much for it as it is.

Anyway... will post some pics once I have had the chance to take some pics. But the big problem is that I will be going off on another extended business trip by the end of the week. I will be going to Osaka to meet with some companies and at the same time, I will take time off to be with my wife and hopefully to make babies. I guess that a few years ago when I said doom on me for being married, the doom is just about to begin huh? (chuckles)... Well no choice lah...

Cheers and peace out.

Having children

Its been a long time since I had the time to blog and I was just reading the newspapers and the speech by our great Prime Minister is pretty entertaining.

Why are our birth rates so low??? Are our men having such old fashioned attitudes that we expect our wives to be subservient and give us the full control of a family? Who have you been speaking to man?

The young professionals:
These are the people who are straddled with the most debt. They have to repay their study loans and so on, and draw pretty low salaries. So if they were to get married, they would have to come up with another 100k of savings. The reason??? A HDB flat will cost the couple 20k or so from the get go. Or else they will go into hock again... reno loans blah blah.... Then the car loans too... Wedding??? Another big lump of cash, why not just stay cool, enjoy our freedom and then worry about it later.

The not so educated chinese couple:
Husband holds on to a supervisory job and wife perhaps a factory job. Monthly income.... much left to be desired. So with only 2k coming in a month, how much can they put forth to make more babies? Making babies is not cheap in Sillypore hor.... doctors fee, hospital fee all very expensive leh....

But lets be serious for a moment, it is not that we do not want to have babies, but we are all busy working man.... Family life? What family life... If you have a boss who only has work in his life, you cannot take leave and or MC and or any other time off, and to go home at 7 is already a luxury. Can the gahmen make it compulsory to make family life more important? Nope!! Must serve SME more..... Can staff of executive positions seek reprieve? No!! They are not covered by MOM!!

Our soceity is already screwed up, divorce is high, people having affairs are high, sexual misconduct is high, office sexual harrasement is high!!! What family life is there?

And lets face it ladies and gentlemen, prices are sky high now. Everything in this country is u pay yourself. So food price goes higher, our salaries are not rising. Education goes higher, we have to earn more. Transport fees are higher, we are not even being compensated. The moral or the story, if we want to have what we want, we have to earn it, and if we don have the ability to pay for it, we are screwed. We do not have any safety net and or anything to help us with our payments. Yet we have to pay.... so now the question is... how to afford to bring children into this shitty world?

It is true... how to bring children into this world? Bus transport... 250 and above a month? School fees... 100 plus? Allowance.... 5 bucks per day X 24 days is 120? Total 470 just for one child for school. If wife don work to add to expenditure how? So if dat is the case, how to make other children?

Even IVF... Yea 12-16k per cycle... and how much do we get out of our medisave? 6k for first cycle.... thats only half the cost man!!?? And not confirm first time can successful for. So how?

Are you gonna have children? How can you have children?

Peace man.

No Pics today

Sori boys and girls... no more pics today.... Been rather tired and sick lately. I suffer from IBD or more precisely NUD.... Waaaaaahhhhh more abreviations.... We Sillyporeans just love to abreviate things.... ERP.... ECP... HDB.... whatever!!!

Anyway... IBD is Irritable Bowel Syndrome and NUD is Non Ulcer Dyspepsia. Both are problems you really do not want to have man..... both mean that your stomach is easil irritated and this can be from the food you have eaten or even the speed you ate the food. Sufferes who are at the epitomy of this problem will be throwing up and or having Diarrhoea and so on. This means that virtually nothing can go in and once in can come in violently in both ways... hehehehe... Like I said.. not a good way to enjoy lfe.

Anyway so much for sickness..... I am actually pretty tired of this old life of mine... so am ready to go anywhere else..... Don wori lah... I do not believe in killing myself..... But then the thing is.... having a look at life nowadays.... Sometimes it is better to even escape by any other means to any other place. Death to some is a scary thing.. but to me is a new adventure..... and I do not have any notions of being like Nichlas Cage in Ghost Rider or Spawn or other movie dead beings... To me being dead is just the body rotting away. As for the spirit and the higher consciousness.... I do not really care lah.... Why be afraid of something you do not know when the things you know should be more scary?

I am not kidding when I say that nothing much really scares me nowadays. I was deadly afraid of cockroaches.... I would scream like a girl...(Shhhhh please don't tell anyone) and run like a headless chicken. There was once when we were in the army and we were in our bunk an a big cockroach flew into our room..... All 15 of us ran out screaming like girls..... There was also once when I was nearly killed by a cockroach.... This was when I was living alone in Japan.... It was during summer when the insects came out. My bed was just beside the wall and I saw a cockroach crawling on the wall on top of my bed. So I climbed on the bed, took out the bug spray and sprayed the mother F..... It ran away, then turned round and came back towards me..... I got scared out of my wits.... Took a step back.... my foot found nothing but open air.... and fell flat on my back....OOooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh..... I could not move....could not breath....."think I need to call an ambulance......".... But then the next question is "What the bloody hell do I tell the operator?? A cockroach almost killed me????" Man with broken back because he fell from bed... and because he tried to kill a cockroach but was attacked by the very same cockroach..!!??? People sure laugh till they turn purple man.... So I slowly regained my feeling... moved a toe... moved a finger and so on.

Now surprisingly.... I am not afraid of those little damn things anymore.... The stupid Lancer I was driving had the little damned idiots running around.... and when I saw them I would just whack them with my hand.....

I am also not really afraid of "ghosts" and so on.... Though I would really not like to meet one... but I am not really scared.... Perhaps because I have nothing to hide and have done no evil.... This was from waaaaaayyyyy baaacccckkkk in my younger days... I think it is because I learnt to adapt to my fears.... Imagine..... as a very young primary school student and secondary school student... I had to take buses to school. And school started at 7.30am... My school was rather far so I had to start a bit earlier..... earlier meant darker.... and I had to cross a wooded area beside a river.... people have drowned in the river...... dark shadows can be seen on the trees.... And one fine day.... (actually it was a dark and eery morning) my stupid mom....(hhhmmmmmmmmmmm maybe the signs that she had a weak mind was clear from the start) told me...."Son... you have to be careful... someone told me that a pontianak has escaped from Malaysia and is in Singapore!!! A pontianak is a Malay Vampire...... If that doesn't scarea child and scars his life.... I do not know what will.... And some more.... if she were so bloody concerned..... then why the bloody hell did she not send me to the stupid bus stop???? Scarred of the pontianak must be..... Nowadays.... Mat Alamak escape.... people do not really care... tell them a pontianak and see how they laugh at you.....

So my fearless attitude grew from these humble beginnings..... Even in the army.... I could walk alone in the middle of the night in the jungles... in the training fields...."aaaaahhhhh what is there to be afraid??" "I already kenna a pontianak fear from young man!!! Chey!!!"

Damn this blog is long man..... but tired and sick and bored..... Anyway... thanks for listening man....

Cheers and peace out

A new Pic and a New test

This is a pic I sorta played with on the Photoshop. It was a very ulu part of Thailand and we were waiting for a train. So my wife snapped the pic. I used Photoshop to turn parts of the pics into Sepia so that I could highlight the "oldness" of the place. Not meaning anything disrespectful by that. We rarely have any "old" places left in Sillypore. So this proves that at least we have a past and with thepast, we have a future.

Of course I am not one of those antiquated dinosaurs who think that the whites should rule the world...(if they think so... we have over a billin yellows to over-power them and re-populated the world man....heheheh)

Back to the pic, I am not going to fight with V for a pic a day, but I will post as many as I can.... then at least some people will not think that I have been naughty.

Cheers and peace out.

The Hoo Haaa about marriage and falling birth rates in Sillypore

There will be no pics my gentle reader as today will be a blast of hot air from an old man.... ME!!!

There was this recent study or survey or WHATEVER done stating te various reasons why people do not get married here..... Its plain and simple lah..... attitudes....!!!!

When we date, the very process of going into a date is a sparring match... almost.... Most guys want a pretty sexy lady... (Come one guys admit it lah.... If given a choice of a sexy babe and fat old plain Jane.. who would you choose??) Guys oso choose based on the ease of getting a lady into bed... The lady on the other hand chooses a guy based on his looks...(Come one tell the truth and shame the devil!!! If you looked at short and fat ole me and Edison Chen... who would you choose) and the size of his wallet. I am not sure if th girls are as direct as before, but the first question girls asked me when I was dating many many many moons ago was "What car do you drive"?... Well now I drive a fucking evo and if you dare ask me that question, I will ask back..."I drive and Evo but only super models like Rebecca Lee and pretty babes like Fiona Xie can sit in it..." Seriously man...

So back to the sparring... when each couple has sized out the other part, then comes the part of"qualifications"

GUY: Hmmmmm ok ok body.... nice smile.... cheerful outlook.... Ok onsssss
Girl: Hmmmmm drives stupid Altis only... lucky not Vios lah.... holds a gold card.... chey now people got platinum liao.... works in MNC... ok lah... onsssssss

Then of course the datng process starts.... and after a few years... if the guy hasn't strayed or the girl hasn't blown the guy's finances to S**T, they decide to get married... Firstly... a house... most people unless born with a golden laddle will buy a HDB.... But they are not cheap hor. And unless daddy and or mommy dearest want to help you pay..(which is another bloody issue I want to bring up... how can a guy who is already 20-30yr old still be beggin from his parents.... Even he guy who drove and killed other people... I am sure that the cars were paid for by their parents.... Imagine... a car is at least 5k in deposit.... where a young punk got so much money?) (Parents.... u disgust me) So they have to wait a few years to cough up enough for a downpayment for the hdb.... and what about the weddin dinner?? Nowadays the dinners also not cheap... though the people who come are getting cheaper... and also they are now doggy bagging the food as we are gobbling it down... I swear!!! A fren told me that he saw a couple putting some stuff into container to bring home to their children... bloody hell!!! Why spoil your children so much and of course this is not fair to those who paid their red packet money and want to eat their fir share.... Or even those cheapo nana who did not give a fantastic ang pow and still hope for a "fair share"

So now after getting married... strapped with house loan... car loan (if you are not sponging off yor parents) and study loan (because if you were not a graduate... u can dream of getting married) and whatever loan you have.... You are stuck in a shit job with a shit boss (lets face it... people always think that they are so smart because they are at the top and also because they all think they deserve to be on top)the guy is now feeling a lot of stress... unless he is sponging off his parents still lah....(The reason why I am harpin on this point is because there are still a lot of these guys AROUND!!!)

After marriage... comes the need to entertain clients, to go out drinking...to be with buddies and so on.... and no time for the char bor.... Of course lah... sex was only while dating.... after marriage.... what sex? Too busy lah...

But actually to be fair.... it is also too expensive and too stupid a venture... After all... going to see a gyne will cost money.... giving birth will cost money.... and even after that money will be spent on the child.... and guess what.... after the child grows up.... he will sponge on u like u sponged on your parents..... want children???? NO WAY???? Buy monkey better....!!!!

So u see.... ladies and gentlemen.... it is simple.... our way of lfe has made it almost impossible to get married and to have babies.... It is not only up to the gahmen.. but it is also up to the individual. Are we going to "stand up" and "deliver" for our country? I don think so.......

Cheers and peace out!!!

Ooohhh Memories and old past

Here are some more pics I chose from my set of pics. Basically nothing great, not like V's, but at least I'm pottering around playing with my cam instead of certain other appendages.... ahem ahem... if you know what I mean.

Oh yea about the memories and old past, I was just talking to an od friend N. H is Thai and we have been frens for ages. But with all frens, people come and go. But I will never forget what he said to me when I was at my lowest point and that was that if I were to go to Thailand, all I needed was 500 baht for my airport tax and the rest he would look after. Not many people have bothered to say that to me, but this is what is expected from Silyporeans I guess. So my wife has a fren who is in the shoe business and after the China quake, she needs to find other factories and N doe have a connection to one. So I called on good old fren N. It is like a nostalgic journey because of the group of idiot Sillyporeans, I think only I am the one who stands by his side. All others have gone on to other things and or are too busy with other things now. But for me, frenship is most important. Of course, there are other considerations lah.

So like I said, fond memories lah....

Oh yea, I had to find out for myself that over 20 Evo SST have arrived in Sillypore yesterday!!! What th blood hell ismy SE doing? He should be all over the case since I yapped at him the other time. Yet he did not eve bother to check or maybe his fren in CnC doesn't know how to do his job. I am not sure if my car is in the shipment though my "secret sources" is pretty sue it is. So now to have LTA homogulate...(Till now I still haveno bloody idea what that means) and then to have it registered and my hell starts. Hell is because of the repayment. But I guess that I will have equal pleasure too lah.

Do not wori gentle readers.... I WILL NOT!!! modify the car... I will be too broke.... I will be paying for the tax of the other car and also the insurance.... so that is why from now onwards... cash will be tight.

Furthermore.... Wifey M checked out this hospital that specializes in IVF in Osaka.... its relatively cheap lah.... about 5k per cycle.... and success rate of 34%.... That is better den Sllypore's rate of 25%... or are the docs here just mor conservative????? So money money money.... my white hairs are all coming out by the bunch..... But it is okay because I am sure tht I am doing the right an proper thing and the money I use is earned by proper hard work.

Anyway..... peace out brothers and sistas and hope I can get my wife pregnant.

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures

I was playing with my camera and when I downloaded it, I had some pretty interesting pics.... so will put the on for all to see.

One is a pic of Jumbo in Hong Kong, it was a pretty nice pic of the night sky. I like the night.... I do not know why, it is always challenging to shoot something in the dark ad hope it comes out ok. The other two shots were from my flat in a part of Sillypore, (I will still not tell you where) 1 is a night shot but with long exposur and the other is using a super long shot of some place green that I could see from my window. At least we can see green sometimes. I will try take and then insert more pics as the days go by. At least you all can see that while my wife is away.... I am still beinga good boy.... Hhehehehehee

Hai......(sighs)

My wifey dearest lau puo is gone.... no lah silly... she did not die and we did not divorce.... She just went back to Japan. She may not be back for about 1 and a half years. The reason for this is that if she is pregnant, she will not be able to travel for the first 3 months. Then for the last 6 months, she will have to go back to her hometown in Akita Prefecture to find a hospital and get ready for the birth. So 9 months gone. Then eve after birth, she will have to go back to Osaka and bring the child up for another half a year at least, so that the child will have all his or her shots and also the much vaunted Japanese citizenship. Yes my dear readers, I will let them have Japanese citizenship.

I am not saying that being a Sillyporean is not good, just that being Japanese is better. A Japanese child gets free medical till age 5!!!! A Sillypore child gets to pay for all their own medical from birth.... Yeaaaaaa! BS$%^&*()(*&^$%^&*()!!!! Imagine a country that is having a falling birth rate and yet there are no goodies.... Yea... there are tax incentives... whoopeee.... If I were a poor man... how much tax would I be paying in the first place??? Oh yea... the Child Development thingy account thing... We put in X amount of dollars... the gahmen puts in the same amount.... Same argument... we give peanuts... we get peanuts.... And these peanuts cannot be spent on anything other than study, school fees and so on. Not even for bus fare and or books....

But you see my dear reader... It is not the price of education that really scares me... If my childis smart, will find ways of giving him or her an education. But if the child is sick... that is what I am scared of. Imagine if a child has childhood cancer.... you never know in this new world of ours man....chemicals in baby bottles.... whatever shit in diapers and so on..... But if the child needs an op.... 30k please!!! Who and how to pay? Max out the credit cards, max out the easy loans??? Borrow from your friends and family till they pretend they are not in when you come over (Hmmmm good way of avoiding family gatherings from now on.

So as you can see.... I am not going on a tirade against the gahmen... but it is the reality of the situation. We do not have a choice.... I do not mind my children going to a normal GP, I am not thinking of bringing them to specialists and or pediatrics... but still the idea of having to pay a hefty bill is scary.

Even for my half demented (or shouldI say prett fully demented mom).... if she has to go ino a home... it will be at least 1k a month..... How the hell does one pay for such things? It may have been called a luxury some while ago, but it will become necessity soon. Imagine.... demented old folk can actually start eating from the trash bin... This is because they may not even have the ability to understand the dangers of doing so. In fact, depending on which part of their mind is dying or has died, they may not even be capable of thinking. So if a family has to have dual income to survive, who will look after the old person? A maid??? Perhaps.... but now they are such a pampered lot that they can complain and the police will look into every case of ill-treatment. A home? Like I said... 1k plus if you are unlucky.

Things are getting ex here.... and yet the pay is not really catching up. Especially for us the "sandwiched generation", you have no idea when and where the pain will come from.

Another life wasted on the road

Yesterday an accident happened in Orchard road. An Evo crashed into a taxi and he taxi flipped over. Condolences to the driver.

I am not here to say who is at fault or what. This should be left to the police. owever, the reason why I am printing this is because both cars are known culprits of dangerous road habits. I am not saying about the drivers of the cars hor...

Evo's are very high performance cars. they come off the factory with 280hp. It takes very little to push the power even higher. Change a few parts and you have a car pushing above 350hp. Make more drastic mods and you can even have Evo's that are 700hp. But then no matter how much u can mod a car, you cannot mod a driver. If he i a hot head and cannot resist a "challenge", he will try to blast down every road there is. In the report, his passenger was a lady. I can only make the educated assumption that he was trying to impress her and perhap others on the streets.

This brings to mind Little Mr. Lee of the Mazda Mx5 fiasco. If you cannot really handle the power of the car, then it is best you stay off th roads. Please leave other people to have a safe drive!!! We are paying enough in money to the government and we deserve to have safe roads. The probabtion period for new drivers should also be longer and the punishments be longer. I do not want to expose me and my family to dangerous drivers who cut into your lane without much clearance forcing you tojam brakes and so on.

The local cab driver is also another danger. With the rising price of everything, he now is faced with lower income and he has to work harder to make enough for his family. However, some uncles do it the wrong way. I was nearly forced off the road by a speedin Merc cab this morning. He was on the centre lane in TPE, and he filtered left to over-take me, then to over take into the right. Doesn't the passenger even feel as though he is in danger?

Wasn't there a recent report where an uncle crashed into a centre pylon because he was speeding?

So who is in the wrong in this accident? Who is to blame? We may never know. But then seriously, if we wish to race, then lets race at clear places where there are no further traffic. Please do not endanger other people on the road.

Though I have bought an Evo and though I have a history of performance cars, I am always thinking about the scenario of what if someone you love got hurt by a racer. Do you want to be a racer who hurts other people?


Cheers and peace out

ERP and a new friend

A new friend came unexpectedly and she also sent me an interesting mail. It was on ERP. Where will it end? There will be more ERP on more roads and for longer times. It makes travelling more expensive. Of couse there will be people who will say... "take public transport lah!!!" but lets be practical hor.... If you live in an area where you have to take a bus then 2 trains to your office and you have to face illogical situations on the way, you might decide you want to Pay More to get to work in decent shape.

Kudos to the transport companies like MRT for putting more trains on the tracks at peak times. And bus companies for more buses at peak times. The waiting times are now on average 5 plus minutes. Great, but the people are just a many.

I am used to crowded trains, and if you see the movies of people getting on the Yamanote Line in Tokyo, you will most probably see a very small and pudgy little guy trying to squeeze on. But in Tokyo, the people respect you and respect your space. They do not push their bags into your ribs, step on your foot or worse still.... breath their morning breaths on you....(turning green and wanting to throw up at the thought). They also stand by the side of the door, then proceed in after eveyone has left the train. Here is a mad scramble to get in, the kia su fear that they will be left behind if they do not hamper or block the way out for those who wish to alight. They also do not move inside and do not give way to those who wish to move around.

So we come to the car.... No choice mah... idiots on the trains spoil your day, so yougo by car lor..... Then you will see idiots who spoil your day on the roads. People who road hog, people who come up to you butt and try to push you faster. People who cut into your lane with no warning or the slightest hint of a signal. If you jam your brakes, the guy behind you will bang into you. If you do not, you will ang into the guy who cut into you.... Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

But back to the new friend. I have never met her and probably never will. But I thank her for showing me that it is getting really difficult and expensive to live in Sillypore nowadays. I am sure that many will say move... but I came back to live because it is my home.... No matter how imperfect it is.